My Feminist Mental Checklist
Degradation, disrespect, micro-aggression. Almost everyday, I actually check these three things off my mental list. Some dude somewhere thinks it's alright to do any of the above, no apologies or an ounce of thought before he opens his mouth. Its hard for me to let things slide when I feel publicly safe to do so, I will call you out on it.
I do not expect any apology, or justification. All I want is acknowledgment, listen to what I have to say. You don't even have to accept it, just merely take it for face value. I understand most men are raised to treat women a certain way in all societies, doesn't matter if you're on Central Standard Time or the Far East regions of the world. Certain expectations apply to all women everywhere. I know this because I see the same sexist, disgusting behavior in any country I visit. I know this because women from countries I've never been to share similar encounters I personally have been through.
Now what are women these days to do? If we are not being the victims, we are either enabling or exercising the victimization men apply to women, and what is worse than having women objectify other women? Where we see men standing on the basis of brotherhood and respect, women are so far apart from each other, and more importantly, from themselves. The meaning of sisterhood is secondary to the paternal controllers and caretakers.
I am degraded by being considered inferior. Some days it's because of my size, other days from my squeaky voice. But most days it is because of the blessing between my legs. I am disrespected when I see the eyes of lust instead of equality. When a man whistles I do not walk over. When a man tells me to come over here I do not walk over, I am the person wanted not the one who wants, so you best come here first. I am disrespected as a woman when a man tells me what I am, or becomes my voice. A man tells me what is socially acceptable, how control should be distributed, and what being a woman (or being womanly) is and looks like.
Do I like it? No. will I live to see the day where it all changes? Probably not. As women, we need to take some responsibility for the distance we have created among ourselves, and within each other. Being a Feminist was one of the best decisions I have made in my life! And not because of the satisfaction it gives me from knowing my history, or the optimistic drastic changes women before me were able to create for themselves, but because it enables me to see the truth. There is nothing better than the truth, there is nothing more painful than the truth. My truth is that I live in a pro-patriarchal world, conquered and dictated. It's a constant struggle to change it and add a little more pink to the black. I give my kind regards to the men who are allies in a true support system and strongly believe in human equality for all, but to the rest of you pigs out there: I will not let the hand I hold, hold me down.
I am degraded by being considered inferior. Some days it's because of my size, other days from my squeaky voice. But most days it is because of the blessing between my legs. I am disrespected when I see the eyes of lust instead of equality. When a man whistles I do not walk over. When a man tells me to come over here I do not walk over, I am the person wanted not the one who wants, so you best come here first. I am disrespected as a woman when a man tells me what I am, or becomes my voice. A man tells me what is socially acceptable, how control should be distributed, and what being a woman (or being womanly) is and looks like.
Do I like it? No. will I live to see the day where it all changes? Probably not. As women, we need to take some responsibility for the distance we have created among ourselves, and within each other. Being a Feminist was one of the best decisions I have made in my life! And not because of the satisfaction it gives me from knowing my history, or the optimistic drastic changes women before me were able to create for themselves, but because it enables me to see the truth. There is nothing better than the truth, there is nothing more painful than the truth. My truth is that I live in a pro-patriarchal world, conquered and dictated. It's a constant struggle to change it and add a little more pink to the black. I give my kind regards to the men who are allies in a true support system and strongly believe in human equality for all, but to the rest of you pigs out there: I will not let the hand I hold, hold me down.
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