Sick & Homesick

I can't walk, I have a hard time breathing, and I feel sweaty. I'm sick, I don't even have enough energy to pick the phone and call someone. Ok, simple, let me just go up to my mom, she'll make me that tea I always refuse to drink, and get comforted in my dad's lap as he makes dirty jokes to get mom mad. Let me get a warm blanket and go lie on his lap, I could use a dirty joke to laugh about right now, while mom gets angry about making the tea I never finish, and hear the same lecture about how I won't feel better if Idon'tt listen to her. Let me go whine to our nannies about how my stomach hurts right now, maybe I'll get a free hug, or a different lecture about karma's revenge for giving them a hard time every morning and not waking up for school. Let me call one of my sisters-in-law to use and abuse them into taking me out, or order me a pizza, because I'm "in pain". Let me go eat lots and lots of chips and call one of my best friends because nothing is better than unhealthy food and a good laugh to make you forget. Let me go to Sara's house, She'll make me feel perfect again in seconds; It's just a ten minute drive.

Wait, Let me remember that I'm not in Kuwait anymore. Let me realize that beyond my bedroom door is another door to another dorm room, not the living room my parents are always sitting in. Let me call Kuwait anyways and see who is around. Nope, I can't, it's 3 am back home, a school night, too. What should I do? I can't get up to make my own tea, I don't feel like calling anyone to ask for help. I'll just stay here. Helpless, wait for the pain to go away by itself. My parents aren't here to take care of me anymore, I'm all alone. How pathetic do I sound right now? My room has everything I need, but is it really everything I need? Whats the point of having everything there when I'm in too much pain to get up and take it for myself. I missed having things brought up to me by an intercom call. I miss dad's dirty jokes, and mom's anger, I miss the un-international phone calls to my friends and family, and how I could talk for hours without needing to worry about any phone bills since calls were free (or at least, I wasn't the one paying. What's a bill?). The chapati, the cruises around the streets with my friends that always ended up with crazy fun, chocolate bar, the annoying guys that won't stop being annoying, I miss it all. I'm half way across the world starting this new life, having nothing to do with the old one, having nothing resembled like the old one. The worst homesickness moment for me wasn't about not being able to hang out with my friends anymore, or go to chocolate bar every other weekend, or spend time with family. It was simply knowing that no one will be here to take care of me if I ever needed help. Not so much because no body here cared, but simply because no one is around.