Rape Culture with All its Humor

Rape jokes contribute to the insensitive increase of rape culture directly and indirectly. In the United States ALONE, 1 of every 3 women is a victim of raped or sexual assault during her lifetime. So every time a joke about rape in a social setting with friends and acquaintances is made, at least 1 person is reminded of their soul wrenching experience. Beyond this, estimates of male victims of rape are inaccurate, because of society’s pressures on men to be and act a certain way; which is that men cannot be raped, right? And if they are, then they just need to "man up," get over it, etc... ideas like these generate the underestimated percentages of male rapes and sexual assaults worldwide. In Britain they came at 2%, in one study in 2011. I simply cannot believe that only 2% of males have been raped/sexually assaulted in one study alone. Admitting to being raped/molested is never easy.

Certain communities, in particular, joke about enjoying the act of rape itself. But really, what is so enjoyable about rape? The thought of being forced into liking something is certainly not enjoyable. In a situation where, for example, I joke about rape and enjoying it, is it that I enjoy wanting to be forced into liking something? Or being shown for the very first time a sexual act (in a certain way, forcefully) that ends up being the way I am used to liking? Or none of the above and I am simply not  aware of what it is I am actually saying?

Whatever it is, there is really nothing funny about rape. There is nothing funny about rape culture. If you joke about rape then this means, to me, you have either been raped or did the raping. And if you belong to neither category and still joke about rape, then something is deeply, and mentally, wrong.

I have often noticed that people who are sexually assaulted either joke about the incident, or completely forget about it. They joke about it as a way of coping mechanism, they forget about it as a way of coping mechanism. But what other coping mechanisms are there? I don’t want want to joke about sexual assault. Nor do I want to forget about it.

If assault is something that happened, then it is something important. We don’t joke about important things, we take serious matters seriously. Joking about something conveys carelessness. But we do take it seriously, or at least we should. So what if all the therapy, talking, writing, crying, waiting and eating (or not eating) does not work? What do we do next? There is nothing left but to joke of it, nothing else worked. It eats you up inside; it eats you up all the way and then some more. It eats up your family; it eats up your loved ones who know. What is the point of letting something take full control of you, when you can simply joke about it and move on? Well. No one said it was going to be easy, but no one said you were going to be sexually assaulted either.

I urge victims/survivors to talk. Talking may not do much (or may not do anything at all), but it may start something. My ears are so tired of the agony they hear in rape culture jokes, they are simply as funny as they are hurtful. They are tasteless. They are ignorant.

Rape culture should enhance education, not humor. If you are not ready to take matters of personal issues seriously, then it is better to keep them in inside until they are ready to be thrown out, because they do not belong in there. Deepest, darkest secrets always belong in the sunlight, especially when they involve dirty people.