NourHaha!

Light the dark pt2

2011-12-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

Two questions can be asked to know if you or a loved one is depressed, or just feeling miserable:

1. How long is it lasting?
2. Is it taking control over my life?

Men are diagnosed far less with depression than women. Why do you suppose that is? Probably the same reason why there are more women in therapy than men. Growing up, boys are raised to be "men", the stupid boxed PERFECTED definition of what a man needs to and should be. Unfortunately, this box does not and will not do society any good, not only does it place the men who can't fit inside as outcasts, but it also places women in a place of inferiority. To be violent and to be tough is part of a man's boxed definition, to be emotional and submissive is a woman's requirement. The outcome we see is women having more "freedom" to speak of their issues then men, because she is seen as an "emotional being" she then becomes "allowed " to act like one. Whereas a man may not be seen as a man anymore if he decides to show any sign of weakness. We must always ask ourselves, are the boxes society places on us worth following? If so, to what extent? How long will it take for my fear of society to make me coo coo in the head? Or has it already done that to me? Is it worth the trouble? If so, to what extent? Who should I be pleasing?

Psychological illnesses should never be left untreated, the loneliness that results from it is roughly unbearable. Society's pressure for its individuals to be perfect is an impossible task to accomplish, people come from all sorts of different backgrounds, what may be perfect for you may be totally flawed for me. Respect yourself before you respect others, and demand self love, tears come and go, but when depression comes knocking on your door, it will be a long way, if ever, for it to depart from its visit.

Advise loved ones on the importance of smiling, tell your friends you love them. Never judge a book by its cover, and always remember that when you point a finger at someone, you are pointing three fingers right back at you. Awareness is important to help rid of the problems our people suffer from, the first step to regaining power: denying access. Be the true radical Feminist that you are, and deny depression access! By denying access, you re-define definitions, and gain complete power over yourself again. Power is not given, it is taken. Take it back, and live your life again!

Writhen for someone special.

Light the dark pt1

2011-12-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

Bright sunny day. Birds chirping. Great, I'm alive again. I don’t want to wake up. No, you're already awake, you mean you don’t want to get up, right? NO, I meant I don’t want to wake up. The snooze button can only work for so long. Slide out of bed and the first person I meet today, my enemy. Yes, you, staring right back at me, what do you want? And why does it look like you gained more weight? Did your thighs get bigger? Yes, you. Look at me when I talk to you. That’s right, you can cry, feel sorry for yourself and look the other way, you are no good for anything. No one likes you. I don’t like you. What are you doing? Yes, you, mirror, I'm talking to you. Why do you make me look so ugly? Am I really that bad? How can people stand to look at my face? I know I can't. I look away. Disgust, shame and the passion to be sad. I cannot find this beauty people speak about, the beauty of life. Let me be, leave me to stay sad, it is all I know how to feel.

Depression, if left untreated, not only effects our mental state of mind, but our energy, daily activities and total production to function properly. The world is so overwhelming, and I do not want to be around anymore.

According to a research study done by Dr. Juliet Dinkha for depression in Kuwaiti students, she emphasized the importance of Depression workshops to help society's needs today, the ability to speak about your problems and insecurities can help society as a whole because it helps the individual as one. Signs she identified that were most seen in her student samples were crying, loss of pleasure, fatigue, punishment feelings, difficulty in concentrating, feelings of guilt and more.

It is important to remember that those whom put walls around themselves are just that: walls. Once torn down the root of the problem can be found. We must care for our loved ones, because keeping things in will not affect the individual now, but in years later to come in problems like being overweight, excessive drinking, constant negativity and lack of interest in making something big out of yourself.

Further readings: http://www.q8nri.com/home/2009/12/10/students-in-kuwait-are-at-great-risk-for-depression-research/comment-page-1/#comment-9147

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/medical/IM00356

If this were you, could you see it?

2011-12-28T18:24:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_lWQJPLd-8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgsdhrj_zvg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYWMe7cTsRs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsKBs6gZfW0&feature=endscreen&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raY7xQBh0nM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWTAdfIc4kQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7cumti-Pg8&feature=related

Opression, inequality.

2011-11-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

Many argue against women's oppression. Many discuss the problems from and resulting to women's inequalities in society. It is important to remember the significant difference between oppression, and inequality. Radical Feminists claim women to be oppressed. Liberal Feminists say it is merely a case of inequality. But what is the difference? And which side wins? And why should it matter whether women are burdened with inequality or oppression if we all know women are treated like crap anyway?

Liberal Feminism strives for Equality, it does this through reasoned, intellectually based ideas. They see power as a resource, a resource that has been re-distributed unequally. Radicals give emotional and political statements, for a bigger change: social change. They are not interested in fancy arguments, they are too busy with standing against the degradation of women. Unlike the Liberals whom see power as an unequally distributed resource, to Radicals, power = domination. The only way to conquer power is to dominate, you dominate by denying access to the other. Once you’ve denied access, you can re-define definitions and create all you desire. Your the one with the power, your the one who decides. As many women fail to realize power is not just given, one must take it.

I will discuss two philosophers whom looked into women's oppression and what steps can be taken to solve the issue. Their opinions on education and the economic system are two ways of how oppression is shown in society. I will then conclude with my opinion (of course) an why I think a radical Feminist makes a stronger case.

John Mills, an 18th century philosopher, was very big on education. One of my favorite ideas about Feminism which he discusses, Association: women are shaped through their experiences. How can you expect a woman to be any other way when society's views is all she knows? Women had no political rights, money or property because they were (are) considered property themselves. Even for the longest time were denied from representing themselves in legal matters. Change a woman's experiences if you want to change the outcomes. Good experiences on what's right and good for one's self an the culture they live in will result in great outcomes, stupid societal ideas? Not so much. Before you assume a woman is unfit for SOMETHING, remind yourself that it is not because SHE is unfit, but because some man decided that for her.

John lived during the Victorian era, an era where rape within the marriage is impossible and women had less grounds of divorce then men. John believed in the harm principle: Your freedom ends when you end someone else's. he advocated for women's access, education and their right to vote. He did not like the inequality that was settled in society, I agree with him. He saw that through education and different (better) experiences, women were just as capable as men in the jobs women were banned from. He then goes on to reject Essentialism, which is the idea that you are born the way you are because of biology, if you are incapable, then there is nothing you can do to change it. This was the view on women, incapability, and unable to change, which is why they needed men to take over them, rule for them. Women's "incapability" and "inferiority" are the radical results of Essentialism. Finally, he believed that women would only freely be able to choose if we demolish all social organizations that influence her decision (marriage, nuclear family, etc…) if women are able to make free decisions they would have reach true liberalism and freedom. But, seeing a show long women's "inequality" has been around for so long, will women's shackles ever truly be broken from society? More importantly, will society ever be able to get off the addiction of treating women like crap?

Engels was another philosopher who argued against women's oppression. He blamed this on the new economic system that required a women's monogamy. A woman's faithfulness to her one husband ensures the children's legitimacy for the family's inheritance of private wealth. In early society.
In the early past before capitalism, all individuals of the tribe worked equally towards collecting the food, hunting, and communal child bearing. As time passed, inheritance evolved into society, in with private wealth, and out with the fruit of one's own labor, therefore making the need for more working hands. It was no longer the tribe's job to provide for everyone, but more the family's job to provide for itself. The woman's job became to produce only, therefore making her "incapable" of doing anything else. Leaving no choice to choose, her only job becomes just that. Engels believed the only way to get rid of women's oppression is to abolish the capitalist system that endures private property, supports exhausting working hours, and publically pays women significantly less than men, if it even hires them in the first place.
It's important to note that only radical Feminist use the word "oppression" to refer to women's situation, this is why Mill, a liberal Feminist, does not really use this word.

I side with Engels, purely because of the fundamental differences in the meanings of the words Inequality and Oppression. To be unequal with someone is to have different capabilities. This is fine, and it most certainly would not have been a reason to start an entire Feminist movement world-wide. Oppression is when you are excluded from the rest because of something you can not change: gender. Women up to the 18th century owned nothing, not even themselves. Women's education is only a recent 20th century phenomenon, something that did not exist in the past. Do women not want to work? Do women like to be beaten and kept at home? Do women enjoy being treated like ignorant children? Sexual objects? Lower class citizens? NO! Women have and still are oppressed in some or many ways. Denying someone a job or refusing to pay an equal salary like the rest of the men because you're a woman is oppression, not inequality. Because being a woman is something one cannot change, but being religious, for example, is changeable. I agree with Mills, education does help in freeing women from societies shackles. But I agree more with Engels because the current economic system has a big chunk of influence on why women are sill oppressed.

Just because its not physical, doesn't mean it wont hurt.

2011-10-05T21:17:00.001-07:00

Engels and The Origin of Family

2011-10-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

Engels, a German philosopher, devoted his life to creating a revolution that can change society for the better. His radical opinions that I bring up in the paper consist of three main parts: his interpretation of history, the social changes that came with these interpretations, and his harsh critiques on Capitalism as the result of these social changes.

This blog post focuses on the main aspects on Engels's ideas. First, I begin with pointing out his findings on the social aspect of human development throughout history, and how he associated the development of the family parallel to this social change. Second, I will discuss the problematic aspects of our current social development in society from Engels' opinion. Finally, I will point out a few counter-arguments to his own.

In the philosopher's "The Origin of Family", Engels explains the evolutionary change in family structure according to each development stage. Human history is based on three stages: Savagery, Barbarism and Civilization. Savagery is when everything was in its natural state, Barbarism was when humans took what was in its natural state and turned it into a production, like agriculture. Finally, civilization, which is the industrialized and more advanced society. Engels argued that each stage has a different form of family.

In the very beginning, group marriage was the dominant norm in society, with the only barrier being marriage outside of one's generation. The second stage was the Penulian family, where the exclusion of one marrying another out of her/his generation extended to siblings, cousins and ultimately relatives. Family become separated, and as the division increases, so does the creation of private property and wealth. The third stage of family, the Pairing family, comes from the upper stages of Barbarism, where polygamy of the man is still common, but for the woman is no longer acceptable, as it begins to carry social and legal baggage. But if the husband and wife separate, the children remain with the mother. During this stage we find the Mother Right and communistic household ways begin to deteriorate. Finally, monogamous marriage appears in the civilized society, where male supremacy consists of its base, a woman's legitimacy of child bearing is the condition, and the degradation of women is the result.

The Monogamous family derived from economics and inheritance. Thus making male supremacy the first essential factor to monogamous marriage for the man. Monogamy had become required because of heritance, the male was to own his wife, children, slaves and house under his private property. Engels sees this owner ship of property as the first clear division of inequality between men and women where the woman becomes inferior to him. women no longer experience the sexual freedom that was once theirs in group marriage. He saw Monogamy as one step forward to a new societal development, but one step back for inequality in terms of creating pleasure for some and misery for the rest.

Engels saw that in order to understand human history it is important to see it from the aspect of class struggle in a particular society. During the nineteenth century the dominating classes at that time were the Bourgeois and the Proletariats. The Bourgeois class of an industrial culture was the ruling class. It owned the production and industries. Through this ownership they were able to create many job opportunities and discover new markets. More trade led to competition which ultimately led to further distances of commerce.

Unfortunately, through this ownership they were also able to abuse the power they possessed. The abuse of power led to the dehumanization of the Proletariat class. They refused their civil rights, economic wealth and government rights to participate in ruling the state. By turning themselves from the producers to the production, they have become the base of the capitalist society. Therefore, the exploitation of the Proletariats created development for the Bourgeois, but misery for the rest.

The two classes were in constant struggle. The proletariats' did not own wealth the same way the Bourgeois did. Their wealth was considered to be their children and the number of hours they can work for a wage. The Proletariats wanted their wages to be high as possible, the Bourgeois wanted the opposite to make the most profit. The Proletariats represent the Capitalist's working class and is considered the lower class.

Along the lines of class struggles, he saw the differences within the women, which depended on the social class they were in. The proletariat woman was considered more free than the Bourgeois woman, because of the expectation of her work to be outside the home, whereas the bourgeois woman was not privileged with the same expectation. He considered prostitution to be degrading for both men and women, and also thought that it was a contradiction to monogamy. And yet these two conflicts must arrive together, setting the poles that hold society despite their contradictions. Nevertheless, Engels believes that women will arrive to human equality if the current economic system is demolished, because he thought the more money the man had, the more control over his wife he possessed.

Class struggle intrigued both Marx and Engels, making them a great team of revolutionary theorists. Engels was first interested in the subject of class struggle when he moved to England to work in his father's factory. He was shocked by the place's living conditions. Their radical views allowed them to create Socialism, Marxism, and dialectical materialism. Socialism is an economic system that production is co-operatively owned rather than individually, distributing power and wealth equally. Marxist theory looks into historical context, social changes and critiques of capitalism which he despised. Dialectical materialism is a result of a conflicting social events, these social events represents a series of contradictions with their solutions. A revolution can be an example for dialectical materialism: a result that appeared from conflicting social forces, these social forces represent a series of contradictions.

In a capitalist society, economy and inheritance come into play of the newly formed monogamous marriage. Whereas in the hunter-gather society, did not. The reason for this is because the primitive tribes all worked together, shared the land and work, therefore shared the spouses and children. While everything belonged to everyone, nothing belonged to anyone, so there was no necessary need to know which child belonged to who's father. Since mothers could tell their children apart from the rest, the Mother Right was the dominant factor.

Women were equal to men, as they (like the men) contributed in the household for providing resources. This disappears as we move further into the capitalist society and the more it imposes its ideas, the worst off we are from its demoralizing effects. The civilized woman's social position thus becomes less of the primitive woman, where she is respected, and more importantly, honored. Engels believes it is impossible for two partners to freely chose to be together as long as property and heritance is considered a factor. If men were to be worried about sex-love only, then monogamy will come naturally rather than forced, which produce its negative effects of immorality and prostitution.

By taking this idea, Engels was able to form a more "moral" philosophical economy that he wanted society to embrace. To him, the original state human beings were (savagery) was what was best for society as a whole. As it did not degrade women, male supremacy barely existed, and the economy was not a problem. This economic approach is what made him believe the solution to putting an end women's new degrading position was to put an end to capitalism.

One can argue both a positive and negative side to Engel's thoughts. First, He argued the unfairness in the distribution of power and wealth, and a need for a revolution through his radical writings and opinions. But since Capitalism is economically and morally flawed in his opinion, socialism has not proven to be any better. Communist societies have failed just as much as Capitalist ones. Perhaps a new economic system can be formed in which it does not necessarily need to equally distribute the power as long as the distribution of money and opportunity are equal. Second, I do agree with Engels on that understanding human social development is through the understanding of its class struggle. But differ in emphasizing the need to understand its politics of that time as well, because the politics in that society (on what terms is power distributed) are what shape the class struggle and the inequality of women.

Finally, having monogamous marriage arise from economic causes, is it possible for monogamy to disappear if those causes do? One might think it would be the case, but Engels's opinion on the matter is the contrary, as he sees the means of production transfer to social property, and with that disappears wage-labor, the Proletariats and prostitution. Monogamy though is to be realized fully along with an altered change in both men and women. One may see a possibility in this, but nothing is certain as the possibilities of the next form of social human development are limitless.

Engels claimed the social revolution will demolish all types of inequalities that he saw society suffered from. In one sense he was a liberal Feminist for wanting equal opportunity for both men and women in their role of providing to the household and society. In another sense, he can be considered a radical Feminist for arguing that only a revolution can make these inequalities go away. His main interests in economics, class struggle and philosophy shaped his opinions and questioning of the monogamous family, Capitalism and power distribution in the social class.

An angry letter from an angered woman

2011-09-26T03:11:00.000-07:00

I am degraded, disrespected and defined as a woman every day of my life. I actually check these three thing s off my mental list every day. One way or another, some man thinks it's alright to do any of the above, need I call him out for it and the automatic response: justification. No apology, but pure guilt. The need to make it "okay". Well, it's not okay, an never will be for me. I am not the typical woman to let things slide. If you do something wrong, I will call you out for it. I do not expect any apology, or justification. All I want is acknowledgment, listen to what I have to say and accept it as it is. You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to follow it. I understand men are raised to treat women a certain way in all societies, doesn't matter if you're in the west or east side of the world. Certain expectations apply to all women everywhere. Now what are women these days to do? If we are not being the victims, we are exercising the victimization men apply to women, and what is worse than having women objectify other women? The meaning of sisterhood no longer exists in my world for some odd reason. Where we see men everywhere standing on the base of brotherhood and respect, women are so far apart from each other, and more importantly, from ourselves.

I am degraded by being considered inferior. Some days it's because of my size, other days from my squeaky voice. But most days it is because of the blessing I posses between my legs. I am disrespected when I see the eyes of lust instead of equality. When a man whistles I do not walk over. I am a woman, not a dog. When a man tells me to come over here I do not walk over, I am the person wanted not the one who wants. I am disrespected as a woman when a man tells me what I am, or becomes my voice. A man tells me what is socially acceptable, how control should be distributed, and what being a woman (or being womanly) is and looks like.

Do I like it? No. will I live to see the day where it all changes? Probably not. There is an important need as women to take some responsibility for the distance we have created amongst ourselves, and within each other. Being a Feminist was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. And not because of the satisfaction it gives me from knowing my history, or the optimistic drastic changes women have been able to create for themselves, but because it enables me to see the truth. There is nothing better than the truth, there is nothing more painful than the truth. My truth is that I live in a man's world, conquered and dictated. A constant struggle to change it and add a little more pink to the black. I give my kind regards to the men in my life who are my support system and strongly believe in human equality for all, but to the rest of you pigs out there: I will not let the hand I hold, hold me down. If you objectify me and say a "woman" is all I am, the squeaky voice will remind you a Woman is what I am :)

The kite runner: A struggle with what is real, and what is insane.

2011-09-10T02:59:00.000-07:00

They had money to pay for the guns that protected the child molester, but no money to provide food for those molested. A so called "leader" preached the words of God, punished women with the words of God and forbade everything he could think of with the words of God. And yet we find him contradicting his own actions and those words he so often preached, behind closed doors. And it is not that nobody knows, but the lack of power to do anything about it makes it nonnegotiable, when something is nonnegotiable, it is OK.
I have had the opportunity to watch "Kite Runners" tonight because of a friend's recommendation, and forever will I be grateful of this friend. If there is a law in Islam to ban kite flying, show me. If not, how did things get so far? On what basis are they making up rules? Crazy men, the men who use their ego, for the wrong reasons end up creating societies where everybody suffers, especially society's minority: the women. The conditions seen in this movie were just that, a movie. Reality tells a very different story, where events like these happen everyday, anytime, to anyone and in much worse scenarios. If you are not along the ride for the system, you're killed.
Need I note this blog is not meant to critique Afghanistan's way of law, for that is something I will leave the people in that society to decide upon themselves. I am here to call all those who contradict and go along with their games. Contradicting Muslims, SHOW YOUR SHAMEFUL COLORS because I am tired of the bad rep you have given my religion. The religion I claim to be so proud of: how could a religion so beautiful, so peaceful, be taken to extremes worse than hell? What kind of hypocritical prick are you when you practice what you object? A pretty good one.

Rape and sex offenses are everywhere, statistics cannot show us the real damage because it happens far too often. It is a shameful act from the offender that leaves the offended hopeless, broken, and more importantly, the one in shame. Islam recognizes crimes and punishes wrongdoers for it. Personally, rape is worse than murder, because if you're killed then your dead. You don’t have to LIVE with the consequences, you don’t have to live with yourself. The psychological struggle of living a normal life and emotional struggle of being able to forgive yourself take years if not forever to finally happen. It is important that we keep an open mind of this issue an be aware that laws are REQUIRED to be enforced upon those who are mentally ill enough to commit it, and protection upon those who it is done to. This is the sad world I live in. This is your reality as well. No one apologized for handing me a piece of crap, a so-called "world". No one told me "I'm sorry, Nour. I don’t know when things got out of control and I cannot fix it". Were things always this out of control? If we all really want a world of peace and happiness, why don’t we have it yet? It seems we have all the resources, tools and answers, what is stopping us? A sin is theft. When you sin, you steal the right of something. STOP STEALING. It is a crime, and if those so called religious extremists claim to follow Islamic law, then a rapist's punishment according to Islam is death. I find it mind blowing how in all my years I have never seen someone be punished with the death penalty of raping... And before you tell me because no rapes occur, I will tell you to stop yourself before you become a fool.

Islam Is not meant to be horrible, hurtful, or abusive. One of the main reasons of Islam's upbringing is enforce woman's rights in Arabia, something I take great pride in. As a Kuwaiti Muslim, I find it hard to believe that there are any real Muslims out there (including myself) who truly practice all that is preached, if there were (or if we all truly were) I would be eating ice-cream, not writing about rape and hypocrisy.

Bribes, sexual offense, oppression and extremism amongst other crimes are all strongly forbidden in Islam, so kindly tell me why it’s the only thing many Muslims nowadays are known for? If the corruption is working well for your behalf that is fine, but do not turn around and forbid the voice that speaks of truth, do not tell me who I am or what I should be. o not turn around and tell me who I am nor become my voice, when all you do is be whoever you are when I turn my face an go home because of the injustice served. Along those lines and in a more casual note that might be easier to understand, just shut up. Seriously, we (or at least I) are tired of the boring sound of your ugly voice, hearing the same damn thing over and over. Islam is about diversity and respecting others' opinions, ideas, and lifestyles no matter how different or unusual (just as long as it causes no harm to others). Remember, social construction is constantly changing, YOU are the one that controls it, not them. Live the way you want, the way you would want your kids to live. Just like how they are living the way they want to,how would they feel if you impose all of your nonnegotiable extreme opinions on them? Not too good I would assume.

On an ending note, to be open minded is to be educated, tolerant and free of judgment. In contrast to the newer definition of open mind-ness (which is to wear mini skirts to parties and drink) to have an open mind is to have an open soul, to open your soul is to be in touch with it. Once we are able to connect with ourselves we can overcome our fear and become able connect with others. That is the true way to reach the furthest sufficiency of both religion and social construction. We want to provide the best for ourselves and future generations, but I will bet you a million Dinars extreme opinions from religion alone will not take us anywhere but back.

Inspiration beats opression

2011-03-12T18:14:00.000-08:00

Unbearable screaming. Crying like you’ve never cried before, crying like your life is ending in a second and have not accomplished anything, have not fought for anyone, and most importantly: have not lived for yourself. Unbearable crying, nothing like I have heard before, no one told me a human being was capable of such heartbreak and sadness in using merely a high-pitched tone of voice. Even through 3 walls separating us, I could feel the pain. With every slam I heard me and my friend decided to walk a step closer, listening silently. Someone was doing the yelling, and someone was doing the crying, the slamming was unsure of, and the language was foreign. It was late night on a weekend, in a building where no one really asks for trouble.

School can only teach us so much before were left out on the street with real life situations that really don’t have much to do with 2 + 2. What do you do when you are put in an alien situation. A situation you hear of often, but never assume it to come around your life, never assume for a minute to have it three walls away, seven steps from where your standing. Anyone’s typical response would be to call the cops obviously, as you should. But if only it were that simple.
What if that person had lost a family member and was crying and throwing things while the other individual tried to stop it, or at least calm her down. What if she got a letter telling her she was permanently laid off from school, and is crying because of the response she does not want to hear from family back home? What if she found out her significant other had cancer and is going to die in a few months, and that made her go on a tantrum because she sees no life without her other half?
A million IFs popped up my head, maybe calling the police wasn’t the best typical response my head would give me, because in all honesty she could have been crying and screaming for any other reason then the first reason that came to mind. Now is this me sincerely taking this problem rationally, or am I justifying this act of cruelty because my brain does not want to believe that I am living next door to a victim of domestic abuse?

The butter: when a human being is being hurt (micro) as a global society we are all effected (macro). Pulling myself out of the problem because its not mine seemed like a great idea for a second, if a problem doesn’t affect me then I sure as hell won’t involve myself in it, homeless people are not my problem, mental illness is not my problem, global warming is not my problem, rape is not my problem. But it is my neighbor’s problem this week, my sister’s problem two years ago, perhaps my daughter’s problem in twenty years, or my own problem tomorrow. I can only pray silently for so long before I run out of patience and tolerance, as a strong independent woman I see myself wanting to change the world, but keeping quiet about certain things does not erase them. The rug we brush our taboo issues under will soon over flow of dust, and the homes we live in are not so clean anymore :/

To whom it may concern (helpful links):

http://www.letswrap.com/dvinfo/warning.htm

http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/dv_signsofanabusiverelationship.htm?gclid=CMjGupTCyqcCFdO4KgodE3ThCw

Domesticating Evil

2011-01-05T05:20:00.001-08:00

After watching "how to rain your dragon". Two things have come to mind:
1- Evil exsists
2- Humans conflict it

Evil being the abstract concept, cannot exsist without a body. You cannot point at it, you cannot see it. But you can see its effects of inflicting it through that specific body. Nontheless, it was purely humans who enforeced evil through the dragons, therfore causing them to act in such manner. It is all within the human imagination in which becomes their reality. According to Friod, the human mind has created two supernatural beings. Supernatural because it is what humans seek to be, God, containing the best parts of humans: Love, Goodness, Forgiveness. And Satan, being the worst of humans: Blood, Hate, EVIL. We find in these two beings extreme differences, with each being on the oppisie side of table, we seek to be our best representation, Godly like. And we turn away from the worst parts of us, Satanic like. But with these two beings we find infinite power, the desire to rule, and the hunger to succeed at it. But how could we when we have Satanic like creatures ruling the world with us (being the dragons) when we want to be the "Gods" of our kingdom? It is highly impossible not to assume that the dragons have most likely felt the same way. Because just as we see them as forces of evil, they feel the same way about us. When in all reality, dragons and humans are simply different species managing to survive and reproduce healthy strong offspring. Fom an evolutionary standpoint, some may agree that evil is the byproduct of destructive behaviors. We feel saddness when our house is robbed, and so we label that negative, hurtful and undelightful feeling as the result of an evil act. Something that might aught to be stayed away from. But on the other side of the window, the robber is happy. The feeling of rush and excitement of more wealth. So who wins, the selfish gene? Most likely.

Logically, competing indicates a better chance at winning, a better chance at winning creates the fantasy soon-to-be-reality of more material goods, and more material goods will equal a better life, and with having a better life some individuals may choose not to reproduce as much, because being the selfish humans they are, they do not want to share these goods with too many offspringrelatives. Wheras a person who is coopertive (unsefsih) would always like to give, give, give. So even though the selfish gene is creating that evil, it might as well be over numbered by the people who do not consume that trait. Maybe all scientists would dissagree to this, but I see evil as a trait. Something a human being is biologically born with, and passed on to future generations. And the envireonment only influences that trait to seek its peek. Because the more evil you are, the better well off you become.

The reason for number two (humans conflict it) if dragons and humans lived in different areas. We would not have seen all those battles, there would not even be a movie about this! But because they have lived amoung others who did not resemble them, who did not look like them, then it is justified to hurt them, because inflicting pain on people you don’t like will not make you feel guilty.

I think of evil as a majic trick, "now you see it, now you don’t" type of deal. You can only see it if you show it, if you make it phisycally visible to the human eye, there is no such thing as unseen evil. Because even the evil that lies within the soul will be seen through glares, gestures, and body language. Evil was something that was shown to the humans by the dragons. They did not posses it, for it possesed them, like a trait. We inherent our eye colors and sense of humer from our anscestors, so why wouldn’t we inherent their evil as well? But all it took from that boy was a reach of hand, and a throw of his knife into the river, to let the dragon see that the human did not see him as evil, but as a frightned creature alone in the valley. It was fear that caused the evil. Frightned being tend to cause such mannor, when you are afraid of someone, you show them that youre not by presenting you ruthless personality that seases to get you out of the dilema. Domestication of dragons in the movie was very similar to the way wolves were domesticated thousands of years ago: the least afraid of humas was approached. So if the least afraid of evil could approach, what would it mean?

If we were able to turn wolves into poodles, why wouldn’t we be able to turn bad into good. Artifical selection canot play a big role, considering we cant tell who can get married and who cannot. How would we be able to determine such thing? And who would be the judge of it? Wouldn’t that be evil within it self? Dissming a human from reproducing because the possibiity of containing the evil trait is not an ethical thought. Perhaps sexual selection: people like good people. That sounds like a good idea. But why does it seem to me that we are outnumbered by the bad people out there? Perhaps the greed for the world truly does create a better life for the individual once she/he is exposed to it.

My professor once gave us an example of the indian monkeys, many of these little dudes are crazy. Scientists have always wondered why some of those were just purely insane! And why there were so many of them ounumbering the normal ones. What they first found out that the crazy gene they carry helpes reproduce more succsessfully living offspring into the future genertions. The seoncd interesting thing they found was thet the indian monkeys are biologically related to chinses monekeys, but the weird thing about it is that the Hamalaya mountains are a barrier between them, so what kind of crazy monkey would climb through the Hamalayas to get the other side? Some pretty crazy ones.

My point behind this is that I cant help but wonder wether evil works the same way. Desite it being a horrible thing in society, are the ones who are possessed by evil are genitically more successful in reproduction since evil perhaps could be seen as selfish behavior and good as coopertive? Or is it all just due by chance and I am thinking way too much and should go to bed?

I have no idea. But I do wish I were an evolutionist, it would be an intresting perspective to solve the problem of evil through an evolutionary standpoint.

So even though evil is not a dog nor dragon. Maybe domesticating evil should be the new way to go, since attempting to "solve" the problem of evil isnt working for anyone. The problem with the problem of evil is that it suggests that there is only one problem, also, it suggests that it has a solution. Both claims are false. I have stopped hoping for a solution, but I still hope for change. If we cannot jusify or actualy solve evil, our best bet would be to domesticate it, and by that I mean find the majic tricks that turn evil from the possesor to the possessed. Search for ways to make it under our command, out of he hands of destrucion. Keeping it to a minimum. Grass made the dragons very content. Perhaps a pink leash will do the same for all the evil in the world. Our complex mind are uncapable of seeing the most simplist things right infront of mother nature. We are too wrapped up in our wars, winnings, killings, and glory. If we just stop to look at history, there isnt a time that wasn’t filled with all that bloodshed. And all for what? Is glory really the best thing in the world when it is on the expense of another human being? Another tribe? Another nation?! This is where your selfish gene kicks in and says NO, but thinks yesssss! Now repeat after me, I am a selfish human being :)

To whom ever you get married to,

2010-12-29T12:59:00.001-08:00

please, please, PLEASE (and i know youve heard this a million times) don't cheat on her, nor should you follow the "don't cheat, or don't get caught" rule. don't hurt her, dont fight with her, dont yell at her. dont deprive her from your love and attention. you are nothing more than her, a beast in the animal kingdom craving what she craves but in different aspects. i think a big reason to why i sometimes hate men so much is because i see the men presant in my life treating the women they allegdly "love" like shit. every second of everyday. she tries long and hard to make him see how much shes doing for him, just to get a smile, a thank you perhaps. or she will try long and hard to be the worst person in the world just to to see a frown, or a chance to pick another fight. in both cases its you she wants, in both cases its your attention she desires. there is no reason to yell at a five year old, for a child is an immature being jus looking for fun. there is no reason to yell at your wife, for your wife is the woman of your life, the woman of your dreams, the woman YOU chose to spend the rest of your earthly time with. no good ever comes from negative energy, so why spread it? if you cannot communicate with her, how do ou expect yourself to live an entire day happy, satisfied, and peaceful? without the mutual understandings, your outside aura; corrupted. youre inside aura, deprived from the outside oxygyn. marry her with open arms, love her with respect, and treat her like a human being.
raising your voice on a female does not and will not take you to higher places, and abusive behavior will never give you a good night's rest no matter how much you justify it. think of hurting a woman like hurting a cell phone. throw the cell phone in water, you can always change the cover of the phone to make it look better, but the inside software will always be wet, broken, and hurt. spoil her with your love, shes all you have for the rest of your life, parents dont live forever, and children run off with their loved one to start their own families. look up right now at the face the person you wil be looking into for the rest of your life, feel the spark, and just smile at them. the things a simple smile can do to a person, the warmth, the mushy feelings, and the positive energy it brings. and to all the ladies out there, love like youve never been hurt, betrayed, lied to, back stabbed, cheated on, hated on, bullied by, abused, violated, assaulted. let it go and love with all your heart, seriously, all men want is good food and good love. if this is the person you chose to live with, then it should be the person who deserves your best, your all, your everything (your best cooking, and your best love), because you will always get twice the amount back (food translated into materalistic goods,or at least for me!). promise yourself not to be abusive, humerless, or mean. there is no need to lie to your loved ones, if they truly love you they will not leave your side, and if you truly love them then there would be no reaosn to lie in the first place. do the things you love to him, take care of him when he's sick so he can get you a presant when he feels better (it takes two to tango). carry your heart on your sleeve, exploid the weak person you are, and dazzle them with your strongest aspects. trust them with your life. a married life should be a fun adventure, a roller coster, like a camping trip. you never know what neck of the woods you will end up in, but make sure youre holding hands when the next chapter turns, because you will both have to lay dead when the bear attacks, the bear is the problem, and you can't solve a problem by tossing your husband at the bear and making a run for it! youre going to want a piggy back ride when you slip and break you foot running.
like a music video, dance your life away. you only have one shot, i dont understand why you would want to be misreable. JUST SMILE,SERIOUSLY. DO IT. RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Not letting the hand you hold, hold you down.

2010-12-23T13:16:00.000-08:00

Whether behind closed doors or out in the open, minorities are constantly struggling with acts of oppression that they face on a day to day basis. These minorities, sometimes in big numbers living within a group, are still faced with the same struggles, due to a trait they all have in common. My thesis focuses on the importance of empowering a theodicy from an Islamic perspective that attempts to provide answers and explanations to struggles and actions that create great pain to these minorities; in specific women’s oppression and in order to help empower minorities on an individual basis in their lives.

In its philosophical term, evil is the absence of good or wickedness that causes destruction and misfortune. Pain, disability, loss of pleasure, freedom, and opportunity all have the absence of good as a common factor, and with it comes harm to the human soul.

God is thought to be by most, a supernatural force and therefore not bound by the limits of reason and logic. Since God is known to be all merciful and powerful, the result we see in reality leads many to question why bad things happen to good people. Why would God allow the earthquake in Haiti to happen? It killed hundreds of thousands of families and shattered their homes. It made an entire country suffer. Using Epicurus’s logic, we wonder if whether God is willing to prevent these things, but is unable, or if God was able to prevent them, but not willing. If he was both willing and able, why did the earthquake happen in the first place, killing all ages of people both believers in God and non-believers equally? Many answer this question by thinking of good and evil as a construct, not a supernatural force, as we see it in John Hick’s soul making theodicy, which claims evil is good to an individual’s building of character and the spirit’s wholeness. We also see it in Anton LeVey’s ideas, founder of the Church of Satan, who thinks of destruction and suffering to be considered part of the process of existence and should not be linked to evil.

When we turn the argument around from wondering how evil can be seen as a good thing to why evil would even exist in and between humans and in minorities in particular in the first place; when the building of character and spiritual growth can be the result of some other super-natural force that didn’t require us to go through suffering (considering God is all powerful), God is capable of creating us in any way that God wants. So why not create a world with fewer rainy days? Theodicy at the Margins is a comforter to those who suffer and wonder why.

If we ever succeed in explaining the evil that does have some good to it, how would we be able to explain the evil that has absolutely no benefit? Referring to the Holocaust, most people today would think that there is no good behind what had happened to the millions who died and the millions more who lost their families and friends, yet back in the past when it was happening, many would tell you that it was a good idea to get rid of all the unwanted people sharing this world with the rest. So who decides whether this particular evil is good or not? More importantly, if we do claim that many evils like the holocaust result in greater goods, would we not be participating in negatively inserting evil into our societies and making it OK in the world to have a holocaust, because we conclude evil to has a result of the greater good? Why should others, in particular the minorities associated in the holocaust (people with disabilities, Soviet prisoners of war, homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews, Slavic people and other political and religious opponents) have to suffer to make the world a better place? How do the women who were converted into sex slaves and forced into unbearable labor and un-ethical human experiments lead to a greater good in the world? Making the world a better place requires acts of goodness, cooperation, and empathy, not bloodshed, murders and violence on the streets. Just as evil comes in many forms and shapes, theodicy at the margins arrives in different masks and approaches towards finding a solution or antidote from the illness that the world suffers.

The reason behind our stress with evil relates to our fear of it. It is fear that drives us to become silenced in the presence of evil. Fear is what starves us, sickens us, and kills us. It is with evil in others that we see fear in ourselves. The reason behind all these problems is evil, but the reason to why these problems still persist in our lives is from the fear we hold of evil. We all experience this in alarmingly different ways. The Florentine writer, Niccolò Machiavelli advised politicians in the sixteenth century "...it is far safer to be feared than loved." How else could have individuals like Adolph Hitler and Sadam Husain stayed for so long and succeeded in hurting millions? Why else do we still see rape crimes committed in countless numbers in societies world-wide today?

I chose this topic for my argument, because Theodicy at the Margins is unique within its kind and is most certainly not a fan of the global approach to solving the problem of evil. It leaves a trail for the marginalized and the oppressed in society that are under the hands of dominant groups or authority. Feminist Theology and any other spiritual belief or religion can be associated in Theodicy at the Margins. Unlike other theodicies that focus on the experience of suffering through the problem of evil, Theodicy at the Margins, looks into the problem of evil through the sufferer’s eyes. Its theoretical shift moves to particular topics such as women or the poor, and is more concrete on issues of domestic abuse, violence, and economic exploitation. These changes result in a theological shift by localizing the problem of evil, such as making it more personal. Just because we all suffer together, does not mean we all feel it the same way. Theodicy at the Margins’ Theology can be described as this: the importance of protecting and empowering the weak, because God’s preferential likeness leans towards the poor and the venerable.

Theodicy at the Margins attempts to find peace within your experience of suffering. It regains power to those who lost it and restores their voices and goals to better live their lives. It shows relevance and this is a theodicy any oppressed minority can relate to, because it gives a sense of “you’re not alone” to those who feel they are. Its religious grounding from this Islamic perspective, mainly focuses on Islam’s opinion on women as proof of its intolerance to oppression. It improves ethics which then lead to improving society and with the improvement of society, the sources of oppression can be eliminated. Its practical approach will benefit its attendance to any real-life situation and the best part about it, is its diversity, I can relate to it and you can relate to it. Regardless of how similar or different our backgrounds, oppression knows no name. Like makeup, it is put on our faces. Like masks, we have it justified in our heads by inexperienced make-up artists telling us we look better like this. Then we allow them to toss extra glitter and watch us walk outside the door, blind from the truth.
Suffering, according to Theodicy at the Margins, comes in multiple faces like abuse or violence and enters your life in different forms, whether in gender or authority. It looks at the problem from the individual’s perspective and emotions; it faces cruelty as it is, raw and unfair. It refuses to take pictures of it walking down the runway of life. It tries to work through the problem, not to find a solution, but to help the individual overcome that suffering and find the gold at the end of the rainbow: Freedom. Theodicy at the margins, signifies the marginalized in society, those who are weak and oppressed in the hands of a higher power, it is about those who experience pain in an oppressed framework, those who feel hopelessness in a minority background, those minorities that include women, ethnic groups, the poor, disabled, or any human being suffering from an act of unjust cruelty. That is what Theodicy at the margins can be defined as: an attempt to solve the problem of evil in the lenses of an oppressed individual labeled as a minority.

My favorite bra-burning part of this theological argument: Feminist Theology. Feminist theologians like Emma Willard and Serene Jones view women to have an endless capacity to love, grow, and become the most powerful that we can be. Sadly women are hated for it and preached against it. Every victory, discovery and material made by women was made with struggle, yet passion wins all. That is what feminist theology is all about, creating better conditions for women to live in, in a less evil freer spirited world, without having oppression getting in the way of defeating us. Feminist theology is a self- recognition confrontation of oppression within religion itself, studying the role of females’ throughout the history of religions, looking into both personal insights and religious sources. Feminist theology is found in other monotheistic religions like Christianity and Judaism, and Atheistic religions like Feminist Atheism. One of its newer forms is the Goddess movement, associated with second-wave Feminism back in the early 1970’s. Regardless of religion, movement or wave Feminist Theology that it is associated in, its ground remains solid: human equality, which is conquered by oppression’s extinction.

Debates termed as “debates about women” or in its French sense “querelle des femmes”, have been well studied by feminist theologians. We connect Feminist Theology to Theodicy at the Margins, because they bring our theodicy to life. Theodicy at the Margins is more focused on oppression; Feminist theology is more focused on equality. Together we find a beautiful blinding light at the end of the tunnel, the attempted solution(s) to the problem of evil.

So why do so many people inflict acts of evil when others are trying just as hard to eliminate it? When an individual or group is labeled as bad or evil, it creates a desire or justification to punish or inflict pain on that person(s) in or related to a group. It also works as a switch that turns our feelings off. Most of us do not carry empathy towards our enemies and therefore what we do to them, does not cause any remorse on our part. Whether you live in a culture that sees evil as an abstract being or an out-of-harmony state of mind, violence and oppression will always be the result, when evil is present. This explains the capability of the Holocaust, where people were able to do things to minorities they wouldn’t normally do. According to Rosenberg, the root of all violence is from evil, and by eliminating evil, we eliminate violence.

Theodicy at the Margins from an Islamic perspective, works with an effort to form an individual and global resistance against injustice, and oppressive behaviors towards religious structures among men and women. Because we practice religion through our social environment, the two tend to mix, creating a negative outcome we call Oppression. Oppression is defined as an act of unjust cruelty and since many women are considered to be outcasts (or beings of less value), this trait associated with the entire gender ends up being a justification as to why it is ok to inflict such acts, which is ridiculous. I do not have to go look for a source that tells me women make up half the human race. I can simply look outside the window and see it for myself. Women are the core grounding of any society and without women, society cannot and will not exist. Therefore by oppressing women, you oppress society and no good can ever come of that.

In Serene Jones’s book she defines Oppression as Violence to be incidents of harassments, intimidations, degradings, and humiliations. Countless numbers of oppressed women are raped, beaten or emotionally abused. Sadly, ideas in society of allowing the mixture of cultural and religious practices justify these acts. This is problematic for culture and will result in negative effects in society’s future generations. The example of Aisha’s case that I use in my paper is very critical in terms of the severity of the violence that the oppressed individual has experienced, as well as where she can turn to for comfort regarding the evil she suffers with.

Aisha, an 18-year-old female, was severely abused by her husband and in-laws. When she fled they chased after her and hunted her down, dragging her into a mountain by her village. They did not care that she was pleading; they did not care that the only reason she ran away was because if she had not her in-laws would have most-likely murdered her in their own home anyway. She was treated like a slave. Her mother in law held her down while her husband pulled out a knife, slicing off her ears, followed by her nose. Passing out from the unbearable pain, they had left her up there to die. She later woke up choking in her own blood. She now hides in a women’s shelter.

There is obviously no rule in Islam that agrees upon slicing someone’s nose and ears off for running away, because Islam bans violence and abuse in the first place. Here we can see clearly that oppression as violence (defined earlier by Serene Jones) plays the main role. She was not capable of even helping herself. Even the mother-in-law having been a female herself was the one who held Aisha down, while she received her “punishment”. In the case of Aisha being an oppressed female Muslim, where can she search within her religion to find the comfort she is looking for? Digging back to the very beginning, Theodicy at the Margins’ resources in the issue of women’s oppression under the religion of Islam, can be related to two aspects: what was verified in the Holy Quran, and stories of how Prophet Mohamed treated women.

When Democracy was first established in Greece, Greek women were still denied from even the basic human rights. Islam (Derived from the word Peace) leaving no one out, gave both genders their independent rights, something that was surprisingly not found in Europe 1400 years ago. The Islamic faith demands women to be treated with honor, respect, and justice. It refuses oppression of any kind. Verse (4:19) in the Quran asks women to be treated with kindness.

Conditions in Pre-Islamic Arabia were horrible for many women. They were treated like property; the practice of burying infant girls was common. This was due to the fear of poverty and the shame females brought upon the family. Most were illiterate, ignorant, and superstitious. Islam had become the door that the oppressed can escape to, giving women what they had long been waiting for like cookies and milk given to a hungry child, satisfaction. One of Prophet Muhammad’s famous quotes said, “None but a noble man treats women in an honorable manner. And none but an ignoble treats women disgracefully.” Looking into what the Quran had to say about women, the following verse reads: “Anyone who works righteousness, male or female, while believing, we will surely grant them a happy life in this world, and we will surely pay them their full recompense (on the Day of Judgment) for their righteous works.” . This Quran verse like the other versus, is gender friendly. I have realized as I was reading the Quran that both males and females are considered equal in terms of their humanity. Islam does not see women, for instance, as the source of evil, so blaming Eve for Original Sin can be thrown out the window in terms of Islamic beliefs. The reason behind not blaming Eve, is because Allah illustrates in his book that both sexes are created from the same single soul (nafs wahidah), which is what a verse from Surah an-Nisa’ (meaning women) states one person does not come before the other or is superior to the other. Also, a woman is not created for the purpose of a man. Rather, they are both created for the mutual benefit of each other. Adam is not better or more advanced than Eve, because he ate the apple too. That is why they were both punished.

The Quran verse in the beginning of the paragraph qualifies both women and men to believe in and worship God. They are also equal in terms of reward for obedience and punishment for disobedience in both this life and the after. No double standards allowed! For example, if a male is caught stealing, his right hand will be cut off as punishment, and the same applies to females. Religious duties, moral obligations, and personal honor are all equally distributed to both genders. A man who respects and honors a woman justly and freely, possesses a righteous character. The Prophet of Allah said: “The most complete believer is the best in character, and the best of you is the best to his womenfolk.”

Muslim scholars agree that the word “Muslim” can refer to both male and female. Thus, rights of education, freedom of speech, and anything mentioned in the religious books are not enclosed for males alone. Muslim women have the right to accept or decline marriage; they also have the right to seek divorce when necessary (a trait that was non-existent in pre-Islamic Arabia or the west in the past). Married working women have the right to contribute in the household expenses with the money that they make or they can keep it for themselves. Does that mean I am going to have my husband work all day while I sit and sip lemonade? Of course! It is my right to do so, but on a serious note, if Aisha were to practice her religious beliefs, she would have been free a long time ago. Sadly if her husband had this practiced as well, Aisha would not be in the situation that she is in today.

“Paradise is at the feet of the mother,” a phrase told by the prophet; was heard endlessly in my household. My mother would always say it with pride, as if she knew that the reason the Prophet stressed it was because the greatness of a nation depends upon the greatness of its mothers, something that Muslim families teach their children. The Holy Prophet used to stand up for respect, when his daughter Fatima came to visit him. He also helped his wives with the domestic chores of cooking and cleaning, offering a helping hand without degradation attached. He thus shows us by his examples, how mothers, daughters and wives (being women in general) should be respected. The following was recorded from the last sermon of the Prophet Mohammed, "Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers."

Powerful individuals and groups claim to be Muslim, yet fail to practice the true principles of Islam. This is where a lot of women are told to feel justified at their oppression, even though what should be taught is the distinctions between cultural beliefs, and religious practices. The Prophet of Allah (Peace be Upon Him) said “Verily, women are the twin halves of men.”

In conclusion, we can say that Theodicy at the margins from an Islamic viewpoint creates a more free-thinking, humanistic way to attempt to solve the problem of evil. Facing each problem differently, it does not result in having only one answer, and one way, but rather multiple and more open ways to look at an issue. That is what makes theodicy at the margins more special than the rest, which in turn proves its importance. It will continue to empower its oppressed minorities and give common ground to those individuals who feel like they are suffering alone in this world, when the fact of the matter is, we all suffer together in our own times and ways. As we all deal with our problems in different ways, theodicy at the margins from this Islamic viewpoint, will give us a reason to keep believing in brighter days. Even though this world does not have flying bunnies and singing clouds, it at least offers us a theodicy that can take the problem of evil and attempt to solve it one day at a time.

BIBLIOGRAPHY:
Susan J. Brison, “Violence and the Remaking of a Self,” The Chronicle of Higher Education, 18 January 2002.
Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1987), p. 72
Peck, M. Scott. (1983;1988). People of the Lie: The hope for healing human evil. Century Hutchinson.
Malady : a new treatment of disease; what do death, pain & disability have in common?, Clouser, K Danner; Culver, Charles M.; Gert, Bernard, Hastings Center Report 11 no 3 Je 1981, p 29-37.
"The Problem of Evil: Why Would a Good God Create Suffering?" by Vexen Crabtree (2002)
See Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, authorized ed., (1875); (Boston: First Church of Christ, Scientist, 1971), 496–97.
Burton H. Wolfe. The Devil’s Avenger: A Biography of Anton Szandor LaVey. New York: Pyramid Books, 1974. (Out of print.)
Feminist Theology, http://fth.sagepub.com/content/19/1/3.citation, Online version at: DOI: 10.1177/0966735010372161, Feminist Theology 2010 19: 3, Janet Wootton, Editorial
Nancy Tuana, The Less Noble Sex: Scientific, Religious, and Philosophical
Conceptions of Woman's Nature, (Bloomington and Indianapolis, Indiana University Press, 1993)
James A. Haught. 2000 Years of Disbelief: Famous People With the Courage to Doubt
FAITH AND KNOWLEDGE, Ithaca: Cornell UP, and London: Macmillan, 1st ed. 1957, 2nd ed., 1966. Part I, Faith as propositional belief, Part II, Faith as the interpretative element within religious experience, Part III, The logic of faith, Part IV, Christian faith. (1st ed, 1957, 2nd ed. 1966)
Testimony, Narrative, and Nightmare: The Experiences of Jewish Women in the Holocaust. MYRNA GOLDENBERG, Ph.D.
Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince, Dante University of America Press, 2003
Serene Jones. Feminist theory and Christian theology: cartographies of grace
Aryn Baker. Afghan Women and the Return of the Taliban. Time Magazine. http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2007238,00.html#ixzz18OmcrLhC
Sunan At-Tirmidhî
Quran 16:97.
Tirmidhi, Hadeeth number #1162. Verified
Abu Dawood, hadeeth #234. Tirmidhi, hadeeth #113.

Where did the happy kids go :(

2010-10-01T17:10:00.000-07:00

“by the way, a Bulgarian I met lately in Moscow told me about the crimes committed by the Turks and Circassians in all parts of Bulgaria through fear of a general rising of the Slavs.. They nail their prisoners to the fences by the ears, leave them so till morning. And in the morning they hang them.. these Turks took pleasure in torturing the children, too; cutting the unborn child from the mother womb.. Imagine a trembling mother with her baby in her arms, a circle of invading Turks around her. They’ve planned a diversion; they pet the baby, laugh to make it laugh. They succeed, the baby laughs. At that moment a Turk points a pistol four inches from the baby’s face. The baby laughs with glee, holds out its little hands to the pistol, and he pulls the trigger in the baby’s face and blows out its brains. Artistic, wasn’t it?”

There are a lot of things I can ignore in this life, a lot of things I can just glance at and shrug, many things I will flat out avoid. But the topic of child abuse was always a thought that brought me to tears. Children are born pure, innocent, and beautiful. If children are all these wonderful things, why is it that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 13 and injured 25 students when they decided to bring their guns to school one day? A child must have had to go through A LOT to be able to bring a gun to school and just kill people. How much hate had they carried towards these people? Probably enough to kill them.

As long as the human race has been surrounding this earth children have been in pain, suffering. Why do we put them through it? In the past it was thought that children suffered because the parents had sinned, and if the child was born blind, then the parents’ sin was very big. Others think it’s simply the way life operates, no good can ever come from all good, there must be some bad in order generate the good in this world. But why should children suffer for the sins of their parents? And what did the parents do so bad to cause murders and poverty and rape for children? Did children ask for child molesters? Did children need to know how cruel this world is at such a young age? They have not “eaten the apple” yet, and many die before the age of ten.

“Poor devils, you’re going to crematory. He seemed to be telling the truth. Not far from us, flames were leaping up from a ditch, gigantic flames. They were burning something. A lorry drew up at the pit and delivered its load – little children. Babies! Yes, I saw it – saw it with my own eyes… those children in the flames… I pinched my face, was I still alive? ...
“It’s a shame, a shame you couldn’t have gone with your mother, I saw several boys of your age go with their mothers…” his voice was terribly sad. I realized that he did not want to see what they were going to do to me. He did not want to see the burning of his only son.”

If we lived by the belief that children suffer due to their parents sins, we would think about what the father had done so bad to deserve to see his son be burned right in front of him? What has his father done that’s so bad to allow his child to watch other children suffer? Why couldn’t the father have a punishment involving himself only? Why must the child be involved? This idea still somewhat exists in most societies (the bad things you do will come back to you through your children). Certainly many don’t think like this anymore, the force of evil is greater than the force of the commitment of sin. Evil is what drove those Nazis to throw those kids in a ditch of fire, evil is what drove that man to strip a boy naked and set his hounds of dogs chasing after him as punishment. That boy was no longer alive after his punishment. His death was due to being torn apart by dogs, literally. Ellie Wiesel continues in his book saying
“Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky. Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever. Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments that murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams into dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am considered to live as long as God himself. Never.”

These stories are taken from the Nazis different ways of torture for the Jews in WII. Nowhere near ethical, correct, or morally acceptable. Children were killed because of a religion they did not choose, because of a race they had no control to be a part of, because they were put in a life they did not want to be in. millions died because of what their parents were labeled as, and millions more suffered. More than 70,000,000 died, a little over 7 million of those being German. Nearly two million British children were forced to be evacuated from the cities that were being bombed by the Germans, away from their families’, children as young as eight. They were taught at young ages how to use a gas mask, hide, and how to live with strangers. Suffering infects children’s minds and imagination. It is a powerful force.

As the Nazis, one by one, tortured and murdered anyone that wasn’t like one of their own (Romani, people with disabilities, Soviet prisoners of war, Polish, Soviet civilians, homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews, Slavic people and other political and religious opponents. AKA: EVERYONE), and before long they’ve conquered Norway, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and France in 1940, and Yugoslavia and Greece, think of all the children affected in those countries alone. All the pain and suffering life and the decisions of free willed adults have put them through.

“Total silence throughout the camp. On the horizon, the sun was setting. “Bare your heads!” yelled the head of the camp. His voice was raucous. We were weeping. “Cover your heads!” then the march past began. The two adults were no longer alive. Their tongues hung swollen, blue-tinged. But the third rope was still moving; being so light, the child was still alive… for more than half an hour he stayed there, struggling between life and death, dying in slow agony under our eyes. And we had to look at him full in the face. He was still alive when I passed in front of him. His tongue was still red; his eyes were not yet glazed.”
Note that the author was a child himself witnessing these events in the war. And he could have been killed at any moment just as those other children.

It has become common to see a dying child in the streets of the Warsaw Ghetto. Soldiers would bang on doors of European Jews, scare the crap out of them, and shoot someone before they leave, perhaps even throw a disabled elderly out of the 5th floor balcony just because they can. Many children would arrive to extermination camps (or death camps), taken off from the train and forced into gas chambers to be eliminated, Like bugs. Some chambers held up to 1,200 people, so they would all die at the same time, making the process of death easier, and faster, causing thousands more children to suffer in agony for their dead families.

My point behind using the children that suffered (in specific world war two), is to bring to realization that there should be no need to torture children (whether it be in war or peace), to dehumanize and degrade such lovely creatures. And yet mankind continues to destroy the worlds butterflies, children are what make the world a better place, because they see the world at its purest form. Now will all these kids that suffer from rape and abuse get the see the world that way anymore? How could a child be so happy after being kicked out of her own home? After being forced to walk for miles, in the cold, wait for hours and nights, with no water or shelter, in the freezing winter, forced to work, and ultimately, collapse and die either from starvation, disease, or a fire ditch where all the other children are being thrown away. It pains me to be thinking about it, but this is real, and there are children dying spiritually and psychologically out there either because of war, famine, or domestic abuse. So how are you going treat your kids after reading this?

We allow evil to endure itself in our world Like it was water. It first started with forcing Jews to wear David’s star around the upper arms to tell them apart from the rest (the beginning of their discrimination). It ended with having them locked into there own world, surrounded by walls, shunned from their homes, with no money and barely any food. Imagine if you were a Jew at that time period, walking in the filthy streets, trying to make your way to what you call your new home safely, stepping and moving away from the dead adults and children just lying on the street to rot, and ignoring the child that just begged for a piece of your tiny bread you’re supposed to feed a family of 8 with. Arriving to a “home” that’s so dirty even rats would refuse to live in it. Watch, watch as your son is being taken away, as you daughter starves to death, as you watch you father being tortured. Your house is burnt; your family is torn apart, perhaps dead for all you know. But the worst part of it all, is feeling yourself BREAK, feeling useless, worthless, and empty. There’s nothing you can do but watch, watch what is happening around you, and pray. Pray hard, because you might not be alive tomorrow, you might not be alive in a few hours.

Being “able” in the absence of good, is the alcohol that heals the germ of suffering, the song that erases the pain. God created us to be selfish human being individuals with the free will to do as we please, and this included a rule book, a set of guidelines to follow, the yes and the no.
One decision can create complete destruction, one decision could have saved those children being burnt in ditches, and one decision can make you hug the person sitting next to you.
It’s all up to us, to make the decision to change the problems and disasters out parents left behind for us. Let’s not praise the ones that made this world a worse place to live in, that brought pain in this world. Let’s channel our praise towards our mothers, out teachers, ourselves. Because at the end of the day, no individual that caused a child to suffer, or a woman to feel worthless, will receive any praise from me.

I had a conversation with Life the other day.

2010-09-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

Hi. And so we meet again. There you are. Standing there. Laughing there. I wonder what’s funnier, the fact that I’m standing here like a fool, or that I haven’t died yet.

But you keep laughing at me, I don’t care. I look at you and smile. Take me above the highest mountains like rock climbers, beyond the rivers like sleeping whales, up the valleys towards the clouds like cotton, and through the molecules of air that surround me between my mediums, my inner thoughts, and my goals.
Make me run those miles, make me hear those lies. You fire anyone who doesn’t seem fit for the job, and cruel you are in your decisions. I breathe your air, I play in your water, I love your people. I am a selfish human being that wants everything, everyone, and love. Selfish human beings, yes we are. We never settle for the beautiful rainbow over the rain with us lying under it. No, we will think beyond that beautiful rainbow, and imagine a gorgeous galaxy, somewhere far beyond our measures and sights. I know what I came here to do, so don’t you DARE stand in my way, defining me and telling me I can’t. I came this far didn’t i? Surely you haven’t stopped me so far. I am a cripple in disguise, only to come out well in the end, but I will never be satisfied, and neither will you. Never be satisfied when there’s something more out there. Only the foolish are satisfied. Always remember there’s something more. We are selfish human beings, we only want the best, but even the best isn’t good enough. And that’s ok. Because ill have the best one day then ill throw it in your face, not because of me. But because of what you, life, have taught me, never settle for less when you can have more. Why wait for a gentleman to open the door for me when I can break right into it? Why tip-toe between broken glass when I can vacuum the flaws away and place a red carpet! Life, Are you aiming for the sky? Well ill aim higher than you and I’ll make it, with one tear and two sweats and a million smiles on my face, and ill stab your heart, ill stab you soul I won’t ever stop, not unless i reach my goal. After all these years you’ve disciplined me well enough, now I know, what you know: Never settle for less when you can settle for more.

Life is in session. Good night.

CHILD ABUSE "Secretly endured and openly denied".

2010-06-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

How is it that we live in a country that has no law for child abuse? Is our country really that perfect that they didn’t see the need to add anything there? Is our society so nice that all they give its children is love and respect? Every society has its inhuman corrupted minds, whether their your parents, or mine, no society is denied from abuse. But to have a whole country without any law what so ever preventing such an act is just humiliating to know.

Yes, I am ashamed to know monsters like that, I call them monsters because the dirt is where they belong, in the dark is where they’ll stay, and blind from heaven because of all their wrongs.. I am ashamed to know that monsters (I will not refer to them as parents, as they are not worthy of that title, trash would be more suitable in my opinion) will go far enough to see their daughters bleed, their sons cry, and get a fine taste at it, because it’s what they live for, what they breathe on, to see their children suffer makes them feel superior, better, and gives them the justification of DECIPLINE to remove their veil of anger and place it upon their children or child, as anger is the main reason behind abuse. Is all anger bad? No. anger is a feeling, just like joy. But there is a fine line between being angry at your kid for lying about washing their hands, and beating the crap out of them for it. You see for those of you parents that are too ignorant to understand sometimes, this is why we call them CHILDREN, and why you supposedly refer to yourself as an adult (I don’t see why though). A child is supposed to run around, be creative in summer camp, and worry about who gets on the slide first. Punishing your kid on a daily basis and depriving them from food will do nothing but create a terrible representation of yourself, and we all know that we don’t need another you; no no, I think the world has enough sick psychos. Wouldn’t your husband agree?

These monsters are ignorant of karma, neglectful of fate, and aggressive with the all mighty God. No heavens gonna be under YOUR feet honey, you can kiss that goodbye. Islam is against child abuse and stressed the importance of giving your children all the love and care in the world: “"Fear Allah and treat your children with equal justice." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)

When you abuse your kids, you’re abusing God’s gift to you. You are basically telling God that his beautiful gift isn’t good enough for you, that you don’t like it, your kid too ugly for ya? (maybe that’s why you look so much alike). I highly doubt God will give you another gift, he gave you a chance, maybe two, maybe four to make your kids’ lives better than yours. Unfortunately it rarely works out like that, as abused children become abusers; they end up treating their gifts like their parents treated them, maybe even worse.

This is a broad, painful subject to me, it has made me cry myself to sleep countless nights, made me question God why he lets me witness such things with the special people in my life, makes me realize how much appreciation I have come to have to be who I am today, and plan BIG on changing others tomorrow. Stop using discipline as an excuse to beat your kids. Discipline is one thing, and watching them bleed is another. Your children will love you, might forgive you, but will never forget any of the things you do/did to them, because you do not have the RIGHT to beat your kids. You do not have the RIGHT to emotionally make them feel worthless. Just because you feel bad, doesn’t mean your kids should pay for it. Just because you had a terrible childhood, doesn’t mean that it’s OK to let history repeat itself. Just because you still feel that burn, that hurt, doesn’t mean that you should it make it heel by placing your past demons on your children. They are angels, they are heaven’s alternative in earth, they are what makes this world a happy place. They are the reason we love sunshine and rainbows and bunnies, because we love our kids so much, they bring out all the love and beauty in this world. The abuse you do to them is taking all that beauty and love away. YOU are the reason behind the lack of beauty and love in this world, if you choose to keep that up then that’s fine, but don’t expect your life not to take a sharp turn into darkness, the way you sharpened your children’s’ lives towards that direction. If you’re going to hurt your kids do them a favor – don’t bring them, they don’t want you, trust me!

According to Professor Harry J. Gaynor, Ph.D, in his paper “The Root of Child Abuse: Anger”
The following data (from the National Child Abuse Protection Agency) describes that in 1996, there was an estimate of 4,000,000 reported suspected child abuse cases. And by 1999, that number doubled. Newer statistics show that a report of child abuse is made every ten seconds, Almost five children die every day as a result of child abuse, and more than three out of four are under the age of 4. These are only REPORTED estimates of child abuse happening in the United States alone. No one is sure of accurate numbers, as heavy burdens of shame come with being an abused victim. Child abuse occurs at every and any level of ethnic and cultural lines, within all types of religions and at all levels of education. This is the sad reality, this is the world we live in. we can choose to ignore it. We can do something about it. But in the end, it is the children that suffer, not the parents, because they are not the victims anymore. They WERE victims if they had suffered in their childhood, but what good will it be to label them as adults if they repeated what happened to them to someone else?

To conclude, I strongly recommend looking into the cited work below for more information, as this issue should be stressed. With abuse come four kinds: emotional, physical, sexual, and child neglecting. Children won’t tell because of the fear and same it holds within them. Don’t let someone else be a victim because you were, don’t ruin someone else’s life, you of all people should know how that would feel like.

“I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. “ ~Liz Armbruster, on robertbrault.com

WORK CITED

http://www.unicef.org/media/media_35903.html
http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics
http://www.aaets.org/article63.htm
http://www.ispcan.org/wp/index.htm
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/child-abuse-statistics.html

Islamic Hip Hop (Part One)

2010-06-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

Nour Salmeen
May 1 2010:

Muslim fundamentalists portray Islamic Hip Hop as a negative force to its religion and refer to it as a “forbidden act”. Islam is fundamental to the civil rights movement that calls for the importance of equality and the spread of harmony in the community. Islamic hip- hop has emerged from the urban youth to get rid of the hateful treatment of segregation, riot against white dominance, and promote peace. Rappers realized the connection of resemblance in both music and religion, as both aspects allowed their followers to unify and create a structure that could bring their own unique power amongst society both politically and socially. This form of Hip hop focuses on the positivity of hip hop culture from an Islamic viewpoint, which reflects its moral and religious culture, by showing various examples of what Islamic Hip hop has done to the community as a whole.

Islam is not new to hip hop, Anna Johnson, a writer for the AP wrote “Nation of Islam and other nontraditional sects have influenced hip-hop through lyrics and images since the late 1970s” – Islamic hip hop rappers don’t follow mainstream hip hop like women, cars and jewelry, but instead use rhymes to praise God, criticize war, and blast corporate America. This is important because Islam comprehends the value of peace. She also used David Kelly (also known as Capital D) in her article as an example, in his song “culture of terrorism” he sings about spreading the awareness of some of the issues happening in society today: “The American economy's surviving of arms/ third world debt, closing down farms/ promoting conflict and violent behavior/ then using convicts 4 cheap slave labor.”

The Nation of Islam (founded by Wallace Dodd Fard) is a great example Anna used of an infamous western African American Islamic sect with values the Eastern cultures holds such as the five pillars of Islam (which are Al-Shahada, Prayer, Zakat, Haj, and Ramadan), and their following of Halal/ Haram (actions permitted/ forbidden in Islam). As Islamic Hip Hop grows across the world and especially in the United States, these Hip Hop artists and groups choose their inspirational messages from the Quran, to teach Muslims and Non- Muslims about Islam, rather than promote negative western values of sex, drugs, and gang life. Well-known artists like Mos Def stands with those positive values of Harmony and Jihad. Muslim American rap artist Lupe Fiasco rapped about this in his song America Terrorist: “Camoflouged Torahs, Bibles and glorious Qurans/ The books that take you to heaven and let you meet the Lord there/ Have become misinterpreted, reasons for warfare/ We read 'em with blind eyes I guarantee you there's more there” Spiritual challenges, human development, and ethical values are usually what the lyrics represent, having a great positive influence on its audience, that on which creates a stronger hold towards the Islamic values. “(Amin) Pray Allah keep my soul and heart clean/ (Amin) Pray the same thing again for all my team” this is from Mos Def’s “love”, these lyrics are another great example that show the importance of Islam’s standards of life that relies on the five pillars. Annaya Mcmurray explains in her book how most Islamic Hip Hop artists’ values and lyrics have nothing to do with materialism, and a lot more to do with spirituality and gratitude.

More Islamic leaders like Poor Right Teachers and Paris began to globalize this form of hip hop music, they have given a new face to Islam, it’s identity has become better known in America, as it is the first religion to come in terms of acceptance of the hip hop genre. An example of this is the song “INSurrection,” by Sons of Hagar, in their album “A Change, 2004” they present a more Islamic view and identity, and many of their concerns about being Muslims in the west and the challenges being faced because of it, and their large faith in Allah despite no one standing with him, in their lyrics: “My own country is trying to get rid of me / Got no shoulder to lean on and I ain’t crying neither/ It’s the Arab hunting season/ And I ain’t leavin.” This relates back to one of the Five Pillars of Islam, which is prayer, to show how such worship could bring this artist closer to God, and leave him stronger to face the world.

In spite of its prevalence in hip hop culture, Islamic critics like Abu Bilal Mustafa Al-Kanadi (taken from his book 'Islamic Ruling on Music') contend that hip hop misleads Muslims with false beliefs, and the promotions of negative western values such as alcohol usage and drug abuse. While the overtly materialistic and misogynistic themes of hip hop certainly go against Islamic belief, arguably, Islamic Hip hop positively promotes the religious cultural and tolerance the western world holds and bridges the gap between eastern and western cultures through Islamic Hip Hop. The Son of Hagar’s song represents that bridge between both cultures.

Despite the African- American Islamic hip hop artists and groups towards the promotion of the positivity and values of Islam, many Islamists like Abu Bilal Mustafa argue that this form of music will never be completely accepted, because music itself is forbidden in Islam. This is based off the following Quranic verse from Surat Luqman 31:6 “And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks to mislead from the Path of Allah without knowledge, and takes it by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment” It is in “idle talk”, meaning music and singing. But if music was in fact forbidden, Prophet Mohammed would have indicated the exact meaning of “Idle talk” and not leave it to the scholars to figure it out, because Idle Talk could mean any other form of talk, not necessarily singing. He would have also forbid music ever since he began his prophecy. He never prohibited any of the musical instruments the old Arabs used to use, as music was a great part of their social lives, nor did he indicate anything in his book or The Holy Quran that showed the prohibition of music or singing, as the article “Islam and Music” stated that “The Almighty claims in the Koran that he has not left out anything in the Koran (6:38). If so, how come he “forgot” to include the “all important” (to the mullah) subject of music?” We find throughout the Holy Quran acts like consumption of alcohol, theft or murder being prohibited in clear forward statements. But there is no clear indication like that towards music or singing. In fact, A Ismail shoots back at this claim from a different standpoint stating “The fact is that God places no prohibition on music. On the contrary, the entire cosmos is played out like music” Meaning most Islamic rituals, like the citation of the Holy Quran, Nasheeds, Azaan, Madih, and Sufi music are all in a way, sung, rather than read out loud.

Finally, One of the most famous Islamic Philosopher/ Mystic Al-Ghazali’s (1058-1111, medieval era/ Islamic golden age era) states the following “The deaf man who misses the sweet sound of music is like one who is absent though present, dead though he is alive” and this is an example of an Islamic scholar’s positive opinion on music and how important it is in people’s lives even before Islamic hip hop came to be.

The argument presented in this paper shows the positive outcome Islamic hip hop has done to the community. It has represented values both hip hop and religion hold dearly to fight against the cruelty of society, unite them with the power of peace, and enable the bridging of eastern and western cultures together. All of this is very important because it brings people together to promote the positive message Islam contends to spread through its songs and political movements.

-- Work Cited
* “Islam and music”. Sunday Times (South Africa). June 1, 2003. Section: Opinion & Editorial; Pg.7.
* Ismail, A “Islamic music continues to prosper”. Sunday Times (South Africa). Section: Opinion and editorial; Pg. 7. 11 May, (2003)
* Johnson, Anna. ““BC cycle Muslim rappers seek to combine Islamic beliefs with popular music” Associated Press Writer. The Associated Press State & Local Wire. SECTION: State and Regional. Dateline: Chicago, November 6, (2004), Saturday.
* Mcmurray, Anaya. ““Hotep and Hip-Hop: Can Black Muslim Women Be Down with Hip-Hop?”
* Miller, Paul D. “Unbound Sound”. The MIT Press. Cambridge, Massachusetts. London, England
* Moussly, Mona. . “Rappers replace gang life with Muslim life”. Al-Arabiya newspaper. Thursday, 19 March 2000

What is one thing that just doesn't make sense to you?

2010-05-24T14:56:00.001-07:00

why people are SO judgmental about everyone around them. but when it comes to themselves they think theyre completely fine,most cases even perfect. its sad really.

Ask me any topic that comes to ur head: personal,advice,or just plain nosy!

what is your favorite food?

2010-05-24T14:53:00.001-07:00

FRENCH FRIES. mmmmm!

Ask me any topic that comes to ur head: personal,advice,or just plain nosy!

What will you name your first pet (or what was the name of your first pet for those who had one) and why?

2010-05-21T21:45:00.001-07:00

weve had tonnssss of pets growing up,name um and we had um lol.
but the first one was hustler! baby puppy,so cute! i still remember him chasing me and i wud run away crying lol. idiot girl.

Ask me any topic that comes to ur head: personal,advice,or just plain nosy!

Does this make me look fat?

2010-04-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

Need an attention getter? It was a typical summer night, I had just gotten back from work and we were watching Hannah Montana on Disney Chanel.
“I’m fat” excuse me? I turn around and see her looking at herself in the mirror. Moving from one side to the other, telling me she needs to eat less. Now where did u get an idea like that? She shows me a magazine. This was my 6 year old niece talking btw (also happens to be nowhere near fat)

Today, I want to explain the policy that The Council of Fashion Designers of America has used as a guideline for Fashion Industries to follow, and why I think this policy should be turned into a rule of enforcement
First, I will discuss some of the reasons that led to this policy to appear and why not having it enforced is creating more and more problems, second, I will tell you what I think the best solution is, third, THE BENEFITS of having a policy like this enforced in the fashion world.

This is a very important topic, because it is a dangerous one. It has a great influence on us today, as it effects most models in general and many teenagers in particular. Personally, ive lived with a mother whos always had an opinion on how I looked, with friends whos number one concern was dieting, and in a society that cared about how thin or fat you were. And what first begins as an appearance problem, soon turns into an eating disorder one. Imagine watching your best friend, starving to look pretty. Puking their food out from guilt. Killing their organs, one at a time. Imagine you had a family member like that, and you had to watch them slowly kill themselves everyday and you couldn’t d anything about it. Imagine if YOU were like that. And you go to the modeling agency, and they TURN YOU DOWN because youre too fat, when in fact you are 5 pound underweight and on a 100 calorie a-day diet. The sad reality? You will most likely lose that job to someone even thinner than you, and you will end up blaming yourself even more for sneaking in that extra pece of lettuce two nights ago.

We realize how great the influence is when we see people we actually know looking like models or at least trying to any way possible. Although many may argue that guys rarely think about how they look. It may not be as extreme as girls take it, but it is definitely something many guys worry about to some extent.
I am credible to talk about this because I am a girl myself, and when I was younger I once looked upon these images as the standard of beauty: there is a certain look and weight I have to maintain if I want to be beautiful and it didn’t matter whether my body type could handle it or not.
a few examples of super model names I have taken from the New York times and the AFP :

Ana Carolina Reston, 21. A Brazilian model that lived off apples and tomatoes died the evening of an international photoshoot.
Luusel Ramos, south American super model. Pretty, yet stick thin died right after walking out of a runway. She was living off a diet of lettuce leaves and diet coke. 6 months later, her sister, Elianna Ramos, also a super model, sollowed in her sisters footsteps when she wouldn’t wake up one morning. The person waking her up was her grandma, imagine how she felt? Her father says ever since she found out she has been chosen to model for fashion she had stoped eating all together. She was only 18.

while all the girl models were too busy shrinking themselves, someone had shrunk the men as well! It first began with Dior when they replaced the runway from the buff 6 footer with the 6 pack abs, into models like Stas Svetlichnyy who is 6 feet tall and 145 pounds with a 28, but it could be just as serious. Anorexia does not fall on females alone. I could definitely see the demand for rail thin male models to be the norm in the fashion business if nothing is done about it now. Keep in mind that one out of ten anorexics are MEN.

The famous Flippa Hamilton, who worked in Raulph Lauren for two years, was fired because she was “too fat” and couldn’t fit in their clothes anymore. Now this gorgous model is 5 foot 10 inches and weighs 120 pounds. What Raulph Lauren did to her body when they were done is hideous. It is very obvious to anyone who’s seen a human being to know that your head should never look bigger than your waist.
These are just mere example that led the Council Of Fashion Designers Of America to place in some new guildlines to help solve this growing problem. The CFDA (who’s current president is Diane Von) is a not-for-profit trade association that has a membership with 350 of America’s women and men’s’ wear designers. In January 2007, they formed a health initiative to address the concern about whether or not models are unhealthy thin. One of their recommendations “Educate the industry to identify the early warning signs in an individual at risk of developing an eating disorder” I think its very important to actually replace this recommendation and make a requirement BECAUSE: Fashion designers send magazines small size samples that will most likely never fit me if I killed myself with exercise, therefore magazines are forced to hire skinny models to fit into them. This leaves no choice for the other models but to compete and get skinner, resulting in having designers acknowledging the fact that models are getting thinner, so they send out even smaller samples. Magazines get even more frustrated because they have to spend a ton load of money to air brush all the disgusting bones out of the models so that the clothes can actually look presentable. The fashion industries alone are what trigger this problem to grow, and having the CFDA not do anything about it will only allow this problem to be created in the first place.

Solution:
Even though the solution will not be all that easy, but it is plain and simple. My solution to this craziness is to simply inforce this rule of education, so the people in charge of the fashion industries can have their corrupted minds cleaned nd give THEM the definition of what beautiful really is. Especially in places like London that are very much against it, claiming that there is nothing unhealthy about thin models with BMIs less than18. BMI stands for Body Mass Index, the normal BMI falls above 18.5; you can find many models today with a BMI below 16. That’s why inforcing this guildline to all industries will benefit greatly not only in America, but to the world. It is up to the industry to realize that if you are looking for models, don’t hire a girl 6 feet tall, size zero, with knee caps bigger than her waist
the benefits. So what can we benefit from all this? Three things
1. First of all, its safe to say models will stop dying, or at least stop starving themselves, because they won’t feel the need to compete with the other models to be thinner, and can actually start focusing on being happy and living a fulfilling life. Maybe even SEE a life past 30.

2. Second of all. Women like me and you and many men won’t have to feel like crap everytime we open a magazine and find someone we can never even dream of looking like.
3. Third of all, and to me is the most important reason, my niece won’t have to worry about how fat she is when she is just 6 years old. I don’t want her to live a life where weight will be all she sees when she looks at herself in the mirror each day.

To conclude, If you don’t demand skeleton models, you won’t find any. But as long as the fashion industries have the complete freedom to keep hiring skinny models, and abandon the so-called fat ones, models will continue to maintain their rail- thin figures, because it’s what the designers want, it’s what their clothes look good in. and over the years our eyes have adjusted to this new definition of thin, which transformed from curvy and sexy, into toothpick and invisible.

Un-tittled

2010-03-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's 12 am
Sleep and worry never blend
Thinking will never end
Should i even call her a good friend?
would it be the wrong message to send?
This broken heart is hard to mend
Does anyone have another one for me to lend?

It's 12:30 am
I don't want morning to arrive
I can't stand to survive
Another day of our lives
Of hurt, Love, and thrive
Wake up, It's a new day.
It's a new drive.

Why can't I sleep?
I struggle as i try to keep
My thinking from sinking too deep

I look at my pink-squared nail
Wonder why i always fail
leaving my past to build my trail
My love ship is set to sail
Far beyond the 7th ocean
in a place where everything is in slow motion.
And love is given to me in an endless portion.
Wherever you are, be ready with your heart wide open.

It's 1 am now.
Ill try to sleep now.
I find it impossible how,
A person like me can smile herself to sleep
A smile is somehting I'm not allowed to keep.

I'm not a cat

2010-03-05T23:21:00.000-08:00

“Oh screw that” was something I often hear.
“Oh screw that” is something I often didn’t understand.

Where is the line that stops you from doing something you really want because someone doesn’t want you to? And is it considered disrespect for not listening to them?

People always encourage us to follow our dreams and live up to the standards we want to see ourselves in, but what if our dreams and standards go against what our parents want from us? What if the things we want are not the things our society expects from us?

Sometimes I really just stop. Run back to my rom. Hide in my bed, and wonder whether or not its al worth it. Is it really? I have huge hope and dreams of my own, I have an image of what I want to look like and where I want to be and what profession I wish to have 15 years from now. It’s not something I wish to share with anyone. But ten years ago, would those dreams of mine have been acceptable in society? Of course not. Ten years later, we come a long way in the change of mentality and how things are perceived.

Divorce ten years ago was seen by many as an act of shame, nowadays divorce is like a trend. Is it because women these days have become awful? Or is it simply because of the fact that we have more freedom to choose who we want to be with? Most old people would disagree to my opinion.

Most of what’s in my head are millions of random questions I ask myself ALL the time, they’re questions because I never bother asking anyone, I know I will either get some dumb answer, or I will be completely shut out. Many (sometimes a lot more than you think, that’s only when you realize you’re one of them) are afraid of new ideas, because stepping out of that little bubble of theirs and realize 2 seconds later that they’re NOT the only ones living in this gigantic world is definitely not in anyone’s to-do list. Look around you; look at how many different lifestyles you can be exposed to, different thoughts, even if it’s something you can’t see, imagine how different another person’s head is from yours, even if that person was your twin. You can end up meeting with a wonderful minded enemy, or living with a sick-minded sister.

If I were a cat, yeah id waste my life doing nothing but have no life, because when I die, I’ll still have 8 more to go.. Yeah, plenty of time to be productive. BUT, I’m not! Unfortunately, Allah gave me one life, and he gave you one life, so you’re really no different than me. And remind me again, who are YOU to judge ME? What was allowed today does not mean it was approved in the past, and vice-versa, remember all those bikinis and night clubs back in the 70’s? OH don’t pretend, we all have our parents’ pictures in those shots! Then again, what isn’t permitted today could be a tradition five years later.

So I ask you to stop. Just like what I did. Run back to your room, and hide in your covers, and ask yourself if this is all worth it. Bring your dreams to reality and create the standards you want. In the end no one matters but YOU and the life you’ve created for yourself, and oh, just screw it!

“And if you look high, you see that I’m gonna be in it, cuz The sky is the limit” Lil Wayne

I walk like It's water

2010-02-18T16:07:00.000-08:00

“omg! Theres no handle! What are we gonna do!!!”
“Nour, calm down its ok I can still do it”

Not breathing the whole time he did it, praying he wouldn’t fall, I was the only thing he was holding on to, and I was trying hard not to imagine what would happen if he fell. What if I cant carry him? What if he falls on me and I suffocate (yes I’m over exaggerating ;p) He seemed very calm about it in contrary to the nervous wreck that supposedly should be his “support” (AKA me).
One step left. One step right. Very slowly, and a little shaky. Pushing the wheel chair in front of me, he had his arm around my backpack for support next to me. He was doing it; he was really putting it all out there. He was walking.
Imagine living your regular everyday life like you normally do. Grocery shopping, dancing, skateboarding, a ton of friends, just living life to the fullest, American style.

Now imagine waking up one morning, realizing your legs died. They’re there. But no motion is coming out of them. And you can’t move. Imagine having a tube gone through your throat, twice (I don’t think we want to know how painful that would be) to try and fix the problem, imagine having your eyes stitched shut because they couldn’t do it on their own and the result of that was having dry eyes and temporary blindness. Imagine being abandoned by those “ton” of friends who were supposedly your all. Imagine being dumped by your girlfriend because she didn’t want to have to be responsible for you, because you’ve become a burden in her eyes, and she decided to throw the love away because you just weren’t worth it. Imagine being alone, with no one to talk to, no one to help you out, and no one to just look at you and say it’s gonna be OK. Imagine needing to start living your life all over again, a good fresh start you say? Maybe. But what if you had to start it all over again without the ability to walk?

Honestly, if this were anyone else, I would say suicide would have been very possible. Its takes A LOT of guts, to go on a track, where everyone there is running to the highest speed, and you proudly get off your wheel chair and walk slower than a turtle, shakier than a vibrator, and a smile bigger than the happiest person in the world, side by side to those runners.
We take the most basic things in the world for granted, hence my title for this entry. We (or at least I) never stop to think about things like walking, drinking Pepsi, sleeping, or breathing. These things are just THERE, and we assume they work the way they’re supposed to and nothing will change that, plain and simple. The next time you consider waking up in the morning, think about what it will take you to get to the bathroom, what body parts you’ll need to use to brush your teeth, how are you going to change your clothes, and your ability swallow you breakfast.

It takes even MORE guts, to wake up In the morning with a smile, it’s an amazing thing to see people that have gone through so much still have the mentality of “I’m sure someone out there has it worse” and someone out there is ALWAYS having it worse somewhere in this world. It’s very sad to see someone’s hair being ruined become the biggest dilemma this earth has faced. Despite everything, we should always remember what we have, what were blessed with (even though they seem to be curses, or at least that’s how I used to see a lot of my blessings as) we wouldn’t be the people we are today if we hadn’t been exposed to such events, nor will we be the people we will turn into tomorrow if we don’t go through a hell of a lot. What doesn’t kill you; only makes you stronger :)

Sorry, I dont talk to stupid people.

2010-01-26T20:37:00.000-08:00

Tell me why it is that a religious person can enforce his/her lifestyle on you, but you can’t inforce you libereasm on them.
Tell me why your opinion is considered trash, JUST BECAUSE it’s not under the “norm” of what everyone’s used to listening to. The civil rights in America would have never happened if they listened to the people that were standing against it. The Kuwaiti invasion would have stayed to this day if the Kuwaiti women and men hadn’t given their souls to its wonderful sands to save it.
Tell me why you so.. so stupid? Do you enjoy being ignorant? Do you think the world runs under your law, just because you have a large group that supports it? I can have my own group. In anything we do in life, whether we want to worship a devil or become murderers, there will ALWAYS be that large group of people that will support it.
I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll keep saying it til the last breath I take vanishes back into air and leaves me soulless, just because you do something differently, DO NOT mean it’s wrong.
This is YOUR life, in the end, those people who judged you will continue on with their lives, and those people who criticized you moved on with the choices THEY made and saw to be “fit”, the most important thing in this world is YOU, don’t let anyone take it away from you. You offer it to people, if they don’t want it, simply move on, PLENTY fish in the sea.

OPRAH (my hero) once said:
“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'. You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary not supplementary”

Sad to see people go through their lives completely wasting ever second on everything but everything that’s actually important in life. Stop it, JUST STOP. Stop NOT living life because some dumb person told you to. The only reason these kinds of people stop you Is because they don’t know how to live, because they’re idiots. If I were a cat, I wouldn’t mind wasting so much time. Heck, I have seven lives; I’ve got PLENTY of time. Unfortunately human beings (or at least that’s what I hope I am) barely live up to 100, and don’t count anything after 50 cuz those years aren’t as fun (no offence to old people, I’m sure you enjoy playing bingo as much as I enjoy shopping)

But next time you wanna talk someone about how your way is right, and how I don’t know any better, and how I most likely will not be who you want me to be. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. I am proud of myself, regardless of our differences. NOTHING, can bring me down, that includes you :)

"China's first gay pageant"

2010-01-11T20:09:00.000-08:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/10/china-gay-pageant

One step closer to acceptance, one step further from discrimination.
Is this something you accept as well? is this something you live with? or someone you know is living with? Is this something you see often? Something you're curious of? or something you couldnt care less about? Is this something you're completely against because people like that should simply go to hell for being different from you? And as society we should all stand against people of that kind?

I always say just because something is different, doesnt mean its wrong, no one is alike, you judge one thing to be right someone else would think is wrong.

We all want our way to be "the right way" but in the end there really isnt a right way, just a "different" way. It doesn't matter how we end up under the ground resting in peace, because that day will come anyways, so if you want to spend your days partying,or praying, either way: Its one ending, your ending.

sexuality shouldnt be related to personality,you can be gay without needing to act like a girly-girl,or a tomboy, its more of a charecteristic; to some a lifestyle.
Although alot may not agree (because gayness has been diagnosed as an illness til the 20th century by psychologists, but scientific research failed to produce any basis regarding homosexuality as a disorder, so it isn't seen as a disorder anymore)
but it is what it because its been around forever, and i agree to it.
Enjoy the video,and stay straight :)

Revenge is BEAUTIFUL

2010-01-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

Try to bring your fame back
Your popularity transformed you to the sack
The knowledge of you not beating me was something you lacked
Look at you, that ugly face, with that ugly smirk
You try to go back, you’re still a jerk.
Behind your mind, your fear of what I can do to you will always lurk
Hide your sickness and black heart behind that shirt
I know your reading this, you piece of crap
Let me reveal who you really are like a SNAP!
You’re falling farther behind because of this
My ass is what I’ll make you kiss
Never underestimate the power of a feminist
Ill cage you in, set myself free.
Down there you’ll be
High up there is where you’ll watch me
Careful don’t break your neck from looking too high
It’s not in your league to look beyond the sky
Watch me ruin you, I’ll watch you break
Ill reveal you to the world: you low-life, you fake
A life of hell is what I’ll make
Watch your life turnaround from what I create
Revenge is beautiful, revenge is fate
Your date with suffering; I promise you won’t be late
Cuz that’s what I told God, and that’s what God said
Hidden no longer, I revealed your act
I told more people, as a matter of fact
I feel sorry for you, forgive you will I never.
Predators should stay locked up forever.

PAST JOURNALS FROM THE 10TH GRADE

2009-12-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

I’m a nice person, I share everything, except for French fries, I NEVER share French fries, so don’t even think about asking for some. Wow, that’s a lot of food, how much did you eat today? Does it really matter? My jeans feel tighter, or is it from the washing machine? That girl looks so hot, so skinny, I watch her standing behind me, I watch her through the mirror of the store I’m in, it’s a big mirror, I somehow seem to be the biggest thing standing on this giant mirror, bigger than that shirt rack, bigger than that 180 pound man. She seems so tiny, so small. I’m imagining things again, this is impossible. Ok, maybe I just need to stop looking at mirrors. I turn around; I find her looking at me. I wonder what she’s thinking, it’s either between “oh, that fat B#$%h needs to lose some weight” or “why can’t I be as skinny as her”. Even thought I’m pretty sure I and she probably weighed the same, we both looked like we were thinking the same thing: why can’t I be her? Why can’t I look like that?

“no thank you” a shocked look from my father, who offered to get me McDonalds on the way back from the mall, he asked me three times later on the way back just to make sure I wasn’t insane. Am I making the right choice? I’m not hungry, but is it my brain telling me that? Keeping me from eating, what if I get hungry by the time I get back home? I get a text, I read it, the only thing I seem to be able to think about Is how skinny the girl who sent me that text is. Am I that thin? Why can’t I be that skinny? Maybe I should ask her. Maybe I’m just being stupid, I should just eat, missing out on a meal is non-sense, but I’ve made it up to 3 days with no food, so might as well go ahead and finish til the end of the week with just a meal or two, or just lots and lots of gum. If the starving people in Africa could do it, so can I!

16 years old, 9 pm, 44 Kilos, 4 more kilos and ill reach my ideal goal, not much left. Then again, my ideal goal WAS 45, but before that ideal goal it was 50. But it’s ok, I’m not sick, I’m fine. I’m perfectly normal. I just need to lose more weight, and everything will be fine. I break down. I cry. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I hate myself.. What do I do now? I just wanna get rid of all this fat, all of this, I hate it all. I want to disappear, I lay my back against the door of the bathroom, I stay there crying for a couple of hours, until I feel dehydrated from all the water that left my body through my eyes. I cry until I feel like I’m out of reasons to cry for, I cry for all the girls like me, suffering every day, every second, all alone, behind every bathroom door, is a girl crying from depression, breakups, or like me, weight issues. I cry until I feel numb, until I feel full, I don’t need food to fill my stomach, my tears will be enough, my agony and hate for life will fulfill me, this is what I’m meant to do, who I’m meant to be, this crazy girl who always thinks she too fat, a size too big, and fat enough to not be able to go through the door. I look at myself, I hate my face, I hate my shoulders, I hate my tears, what they’ve done to my face, what they’ve turned my feelings into, how they’ve destroyed my life. I wash my face, put on the fakest smile in the world, and go to my room to get ready for a party.

Karma.

2009-12-25T01:29:00.000-08:00

When you steal, never underestimate the circumstance of being robbed.

Suppressed feelings, you can’t express them. No one will understand, they just won’t get it. It seems to make sense in your head; you don’t want to tell anyone, who can you trust anymore?

When you watch your own childhood being taken away, don’t think God won’t make them experience that with their own child, maybe even while still in her own tummy. God took it away, like you took someone’s else’s childhood away. How does it feel? Do you feel like God deceived you when he gave you something so beautiful, so fulfilling? When you think you will enjoy watching Karma beautifully come back to them, come back to us, please expect Karma to remember its biting the wrong person in the ass and comes shooting back to feed you your own medicine.

To anyone who feels like they’ve been done wrong, this is to anyone who feels betrayed, to everyone who’s sick of being treated like crap, to everyone feeling depressed from the result of bullying, insult, or abuse. This is to every hurt girl, and every broken hearted boy. This is to every angry parent. Don’t think for a second, a split second, those people who hurt you, who you’re your kids, who broke your family, won’t suffer, won’t pay, or won’t end up in hell when their dirty ashes lay on the ground to rot. To all the fun loving people who turned bitter, to all the people who thought (past tense) love was the best thing in the world, that being kind is the way to go in life, that reaching the mountain top is the best view: never stop believing,

Oh but he bought her a new car, oh they look so happy, oh he doesn’t even know I exist, or that I’m suffering, why isn’t life doing to him/her what they did to me? Maybe it’s my fault this is happening, maybe I actually deserve this, maybe this is just payback to what I did in the past to someone else, or, maybe I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. What happens on the outside, can never be what’s actually going on the inside. That person could be going through emotional abuse, illness, depression. Fights, problems, it could really be all up to you, when you think of what you want to happen to that person, and that person deserved it, Karma will come through for you, even if whatever it is that happens comes in different forms, whether its them getting broke when they need the money mostly, or a really bad breakup. Whichever reason, please don’t think God forgets, please remember people like us never forgive, people like us stand strong, people like us lose the battle, win the war. And people like you don’t deserve to live.

Wonders of an abused woman's mind - PART II

2009-12-10T02:30:00.000-08:00

You think you can’t do this, according to you
The brave, the strong, the careless, are few
This un-bearing fear in you, Fear of society
Whats it done to you, whats it done to me
Keeping you from your life, keeping you from being free
He tells you who to follow, he tells you what to swallow
It creates obedience, according to the reason of rules
But what if the founders of our base are complete fools?
So many people, so ignorant.
dont hate us for you mistakes, don’t blame the innocent
I can never see my life being lived any different
“ur worthless, ur nothing” you still lay
You don’t move a muscle, u resume to stay
Deep down you know you can. Get up and run away
Pack those bags, start that car
Even when your dreams are vanished from ur life, so far.
Further then heaven, further from the highest star
I want you to listen to me, I want you to hear me.
Let me be your role model, let me be your theory
I wont tell you ur stupid, I wont tell you youre wrong
But I want you to base your life on your favorite love song
Tell me im wrong, even though im right
I know you sleep with tears in your eyes every night
It never ends, every blow. Every beating.
You’re reality’s nightmare, just repeating.
going through all that violence.
Staying in the dark. Staying in silence.
Fight for your rights, its ok to be brave.
With your voice, you’ll have another life to save
Don’t ruin ur life, stand up for urself
Stand up with me. Stand up for help.
The other side is so close
Its what you want your life to turn to the most
You don’t have to stay on the floor, you don’t have to be alone
Walk away, and think about the rest of your life you have to own

Wonders of an abused woman's mind - PART I

2009-12-10T02:28:00.000-08:00

No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter what personality, or what nationality, no matter how gay, or how polite, no matter how faithful, or honest, no matter how much they tell you, no matter how much flowers they bring you, I’ve discovered that its universal thing everywhere: boys will be boys.
“But he said he was sorry!”
“But I love him so much”
“But he’s just so confused”

But, but, but. Excuses, excuses, excuses. Girls, just shut the hell up. If he REALLY loves you, if he REALLY meant to bring you those flowers because he actually CARED, then he wouldn’t lie, deceive, or cheat on you in any way or form. I don’t even understand where these “automatic” excuses and reasons for other people’s actions come from. Are you SO desperate to be with this person that you will put whatever reason, no matter how bizarre or crazy, just to try and convince yourself to stay for the hell of it? Do we really think that “there’s always more fish in the sea” is complete BS saying that we refuse to look or think of anyone else because that person is just so “perfect” in your eyes that even when committing the biggest mistake you’ll still let it slip… NO, it’s just a mistake right? Mistakes can be fixed.. Not really, cheating is not a mistake, neither is lying, manipulating, deceiving, or dishonesty. When I think of “mistakes”, I think of Misunderstandings counting as mistakes, eavesdropping on mom’s conversations on the phone could be a mistake, borrowing you brother’s laptop without telling him could be a mistake, but there honestly is no such thing in hurting people as “mistakes”. And if there was, it’s simply a term we use to make ourselves feel better, to rid ourselves from the guilt.
Maybe she wasn’t in her right mind, maybe he was drunk, and maybe he’s just under so much pressure that he just snapped.

Maybe.

Remember when you were five? Remember Cinderella? Sleeping beauty? And the little mermaid? The only thing those girls have in common (asides from beauty) is prince charming. I don’t need to say any more of prince charming.. And I honestly doubt when you were five, you dreamt about the day where the person you love will lie to you, beat you up because Rihanna looked really cool when her face was bleeding, or emotionally abuse the hell out of you to feed off his insecurity. Prince charming is out there, despite the fact that there is no good guy, never limit yourself to one person, have an open mind to the fact that you COULD have better if you EXPECT better, lowering expectations is almost never a good thing.

Ending this, I would sum up the most basic rule of love
“don’t forget to love, before you fall” – Taylor Swift.

Care to hear a dirty joke?

2009-11-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

I can't walk, I have ahard time breathing, and i feel sweaty. I'm sick, I don't even have enough energy to pick the phone and call someone. Ok, simple, let me just go up to my mom, she'll make me that tea i always refuse to drink, and get comforted in my dad's lap as he makes dirty jokes to get mom mad. let me get a warm blanket and go lie on his lap, I could use a dirty joke to laugh about right now, while mom gets angry about making the tea i never drank, and how i won't feel better if i dont listen to her. Let me go whine to our maids about how my stomach hurts right now, maybe I'll get a free hug and a lecture about karma giving me their revenge for giving them a hard time every morning and not waking up for school. Let me call one of my sister in laws to use and abuse them into taking me out because im "in pain". Let me go eat lots and lots of chips and call one of my best friends because nothing is better then food and a good laugh to make you forget. Let me go to Sara's house, She'll make me feel perfect again in seconds; It's just a ten minute drive.
Wait, Let me remember that I'm not in Kuwait anymore. Let me realize that beyond my bedroom door is another door to another dorm room, not the living room my parents are always sitting in. Let me call Kuwait anyways and see whos around. Nope,i can't, its 3 am back home, a school night too. What should i do? I cant get up to make my own tea cuz I'm too tired, I don't feel like calling anyone to ask for help. I'll just stay here. Helpless, wait for the pain to go away by itself. My parents aren't here to take care of me anymore, I'm all alone. My room has everything I need, but is it really everything i need? Whats the point of having everything there when I'm in too much pain to get up and take it for myself. I missed having things brought up to me by an intercom call. I miss dad's dirty jokes, and mom's anger, I miss the un-international phone calls to my friends and family, and how i could talk for hours without needing to worry about any phone bills since calls were free (or at least I wasn't the one paying). The chapati, the cruises around the streets with my friends that always ended up with crazy fun, chocolate bar, the annoying guys that won't stop being annoying, I miss it all. I'm half way across the world starting this new life, having nothing to do with the old one, having nothing resembled like the old one, life here is completely different than back home. Its much harder that's for sure. And daddy's not here to pay my bill, and mommy's not here to buy me that shirt, and sister in-law's not here to take me out. The only thing I have here is God, Myself, and my degree.
I rarely had any home-sickness moments as sever as that one. I miss home, but not enough to come back, or to spend a minute crying over. It was just something i missed, and something i could reach out to with a click of a mouse or a Black Berry, and I'd have Kuwait in my hand. Worst heart-breaking homesickness moment for me wasn't about not being able to hang out with my friends anymore, or go to chocolate bar every other weekend, or spend time with family, It was simply knowing that no one will be here to take care of me if i ever needed help. Not so much because no body cared, but simply because no one is around,everyone is too busy, and that to me sincerely made me feel like shit. I WANT MY TEA.

Four Alarms.

2009-11-22T00:39:00.000-08:00

I litterly lost my breath, but i didn't care, i kept running like a maniac on the main street. FOUR ALARMS. How can FOUR ALARMS fail to wake me up? HOW? I was grateful for falling asleep last night without changing into my pj's, and placing a pencil right next to the door so i don't forget. It's like i knew I'd need everything in front of me the morning after otherwise I'll just show up late AND without a pencil. I saw a car pass by, all i wanted to do was jump on the back and make it drive me to where i wanted to go. I didn't have a jacket on, it was 15 c, but i was almost sweating from the running, 10 minutes has passed, and I’m 20 minutes late. I'm never gonna make it. But i studied so hard. I stopped. The air that went into my lungs HURT, the air was cold, and i hate running. I look at the building, It's right there, c'mon! 3 minutes of running and you'll be there. I push open the door. I breathe hard, panicked, scared, and tired. I definitely corrupted the quiet environment i was in. I walk down the stairs and look at the professor, he nods, and I sit down. He hands in my test and says "we're on example number three" and all of a sudden, all those feelings of being panicked and afraid of missing the whole exam were gone: they were just on example three. Maybe he will repeat the first three examples for me if he's nice? He is nice. I don't know, I couldn't think anymore, i just started flipping through the pages so i could catch up. after all the listening examples were over, I start with the multiple choice. What was Tchaikovsky famous for? Well, he was gay, but the answer on the test was that he was the all-time best Russian composer. What were some characteristics of the Romantic Period? Name Verdi's Operas. The exam was easier than i had expected, maybe bcuz all that running cleared my mind? Maybe i studied better, maybe it was that lucky red nail polish i had on. But for whichever reason. I made it. I was little late, but i made it. Now for my new concern: what about the first three examples?

"I'll make a deal with you, since i can't repeat them now, We'll wait til everyone else leaves, and then I’ll repeat them for you, but ONLY IF everyone leaves before the test is over, because i have another class after this" OK! I FEEL GREAT! Now all i have to do is just wait for everyone to leave. Piece of cake, right? I've never wanted people to leave a room as much as i did today..

12:00 pm: 10 students left
12:10 pm: FIVE minutes left til the exam ends, and there are still five in this room.

12:14 pm: should i just give him my test? Whats the use of waiting? COME ON, GET YOUR BUTT OFF AND LEAVE!!! There was one more person left in the room.

12:15 pm: "heres what we'll do, since we're just waiting for one person, after he's done with his test we'll do the listening really quick, ok?' I LOVE YOU, IF YOU WERENT UGLY AND MARRIED,I WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY NAUGHTY.

"I just don't understand how four alarms don't wake me up" The professor laughed.
"Well careful! The final is 8 am!" ....great...
"I'm from Kuwait, so this is all new to me, i didn’t even know that classical music existed, and now that im here everything is converted into English and it’s really hard i have a hard time understanding most of the terms and definitions and........" the same speech I've memorized and give to my professors in attempt for them to feel sorry for me and give me a better grade
"oh! really? wow,i never would have guessed, your English sounds better than mine, and you look very American......" is the answer I've memorized due to hearing it so many times from them EVERYTIME i play the “international” card on them,it just never works!

So, lesson learnt? What are we looking for exactly here? A simple concept to understand, but very hard to accomplish: Don't think too much about days, things that need to be done, and people. Because when you know what you want, give your self the sense of calm, you really need it, and things will work out for you without even knowing it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

9bayan liKuwait, tara ma9a5toha.

2009-11-15T23:17:00.000-08:00

"I hate boys"
"No you dont :)"
"yes i do"
(5 minutes ater)
"HE'S SO CUTE,i love boys"... story of every straight girl's life..

WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE! Boys,boys, boys, when will you learn? Being the stalker maniac after the girl u want is NOT a turn on, leaving us alone is ;)
If i were still in elementary scgool, i would have loved this, its nice to be wanted, but being wanted is something, and going coo-coo in the head with wanting is another. There really are better ways to pick up a chick, a simple "youre really pretty" REALLY would have been enough to flatter me (not enough to make us groove the night away,just flatter me ;p) girls dont need long,long paragraphs of lies and made of stories of dreams and love, at least i don't, and to all the girls that like it: GROW UP,hes either lying to you,or really gay.

Isn't this getting way too old? after being in the states for more than three months now,i still get these random facebook messeges from guys that i truly believe copy paste this to EVERY random girl they find and send it to her due to their mental illness. Hes not sick you say? maybe he really does like me? Maybe hes just misunderstood? Well,i would like to give him that chance, Maybe he DOES mean well and im just being mean and unfair about it,right?

On behalf of every Kuwaiti girl, I get msgs from guys saying things like "I used to see you when i picked my sister up from school" (okkeeeeeyy,freak!) "ana shyyfch mn gbl!" "yal 7ilwa, fi majal" (i kind of made this one up) "can i be your friend?".. CAN YOU GET LOST? we don't want losers looking for friends on facebok,GO MAKE SOME REAL FRIENDS.

I'm writing about this because as much as i enjoy it, sometimes its just too much, i will demonstrate one of many love notes a typical Kuwaiti girl would get.. the actual message is written down, it includes my own comments in between parenthesis (yes,i had to ;p)::

Hmm ma adri sheno agolech (3ayal laish dazle msg?) bs ana wa7ed wayed a9adfech (Kuwait is 87,000 km alltogether, so ur bound to see me alot; if not always ,I used to LIVE in the Avenues, o be3dain ishal ethraa6? I left Kuwait four months ago,mn weenklk ismi? and how did u recognize me in my new hair?? and why am i asking a liar so many questions i dont even need answers to?) o bdon la a7es sheft nafsi afker feech :S (wow,,really,WOW)

7ta gbel 2 months 7lamt feech (really? im supposed to believe that? REALLY? Salwa Lim6eeri wana madri) o kentay so beauty ;$ (BEAUTIFUL. If u dont know how to use english words properly la tetfelsef wayid.)

7alawt (7alawt ;p?) eni akthar men mara at3raf 3lech (8zdk lmn knt wayid et9aadefni wet7awl itr8mni chnk i3geedi?) bs kil mara et9akren el-bab eb wayhii (LOL MITA?) o a2yes b3den agol la2nha 5osh bent ra7 a7awel mara thanya (plz bsk mu7awalaat ..ur a loser live with it)

m3na el-kuwait matrosa bnat (then why r u here? im not even IN kuwait yal ahbal!) o ay mkan etro7ela telgen bnat (o ijnoos nfsk) bs ana "sharech" (5air inshala)

adri ena kil shy 9ar eb ser3a (wait, shnu ili 9aar biltheb6 3shan e9eer ibsr3a,did i miss something?) ;O (shfeek me5tr3 ;p?) bs hatha kil eli 3ndi (latchetheb! hatha kl ili 3ndk and theres a WHOLE paragraph right under that sentence!!!!)

Yemken etkonen sam3a hel klam men gbel (ee walla 7aas feeni li9bey) bs walah norah (haa? mnu norah? a5aaf im6rsh hal msg for the wrong person? kla it9aadfni o 7lmaan feni o 7aaltk 7ala and u can't even say or spell my name right?!) hatha kil eli ebgalbi (chathab o alf chathab u dont even know my name)
yemken ma et5asren etha 6nashtay feni (89bn 3leeek ma a5sr, o akeed be6enesh.) bs 9adgeni (mabi a9dgk,shlon?) mara7 tet7sfen etha 36eteni mjal [mara7 at7sf? shyyf shklk awl ;p (he looks really ugly,so basically liar,ugly,o ethraa6 zyyd,tipical Kuwaiti fathi moves)] o t3rfna 3la b3th (LAISH? I need one reason why i should? are u so important ili lazm a3erfk? are u so importnat ili lazm et3erfni?) ;O (SHFEEK ME5TR3???)
etha ma kent 7bebech (ooooh il a5 gaam efekr lil mada il ba3eed ;p) aw 9qed (a7la bedliya) 7agech aw o5och ra7 akon sha59 ysa3dech (beet zakat?) etha ma lgetay a7ad aw etha (7imdila rrefeejati ikefoon wewefoon) kentay tben tashken (ashtekey mnk 8ezdk ;p?) o kil el-nas mash'3olen eb 7yatihoom (ila inta il faathi) ra7 akon ana mawjood .....
ma adri entay shrayech ? (ana rayey tethlef?) o 63b a5er shy ma negdar ensawi shy ela eb mwafqat el-7ilwen ;* ;P~ (huh?)
Bbye (ro7a bala rada inshala) ""

Girls, girls, girls, when will you learn? The only reason more and more guys do this everyday, is because 9eedaat like you fall for it, DONT FALL FOR IT. Your'e better than that, tell your friends, sisters, mothers not to listen, believe, or giv the benifit of doubt of any guy that sends crap like this towards ur way. Theyre all the same, and all after one thing, cuz at the end of the day, he's a guy, and youre the girl everyones after.
Be smart about who you choose, Remember: Youre the rule, not the exception, ur the prioraty,NOT the option!

To every person whom I loved and mistreated me: I HATE YOU.

2009-11-09T01:42:00.000-08:00

Why are u doing this? God damn it ur driving me crazy.. STOP. I dont want you to look at me. No wait,come back! I didnt mean it like that.. Wait, no never mind i did, i hope u never comeback. Dont look at me, just go away i dont wanna talk to you anymore.. I miss you. Why are u treating me like this? why am i SO hung up on someone that treats me like dirt,cleans their hands and walks away un-charged or un-called for. why am i such an ignorant little girl that cant understand the meaning of a person JUST NOT THAT INTO ME (or you). If you wanted me, u'd be here RIGHT NOW,trying to make me feel better for what YOUVE done, If you really liked me, you would have never even decided to be an ass, If you REALLY wanted to make this work, youd treat me the way i treated you: full kindness and respect. If you really looked forward to see me, you wouldnt IGNORE my msgs and NOT ANSWER my phone calls. I will NOT put excuses for you, I will NOT let it go. If youre reading this and your doing this to someone else,PLEASE stop, if you dont like us, just tell us, don't run around like a little girl, peoples' feelings are NOT a game. Thats right, walk away cuz i dont even wanna look at your face, you didnt deserve mine anyway, You didnt deserve my time, my love, or my attention. Run along now, to someone who would love being treated like shit from you, just make sure im not on that list.
You walked out on me when i needed you, you ASKED me to leave when i wanted you to stay, and when i said yes, it was like your God sent gift, exactly what you wanted to hear, after all you had to go out and didnt want to waste any time with me,right?
I miss you, but i'm just so angry right now that i miss you more, i want you here, so i can slap the heck out of, i want you here, so i cant show you how make me feel, i want you here, so you can see how much you hurt me. Yes, i want you to feel guilty. Am i just that person you go to to have a splendid time? The person you crave when everyone else is asleep? screw you. I hope you wake up from a bad nightmare that comes true the day after. I AM SO ANGRY AT YOU. YES, WE ARE ALL ANGRY AT YOU. People like you make people like us feel bad about ourselves, people like you question the worthlessness of people like us and make us doubt ourselves*what did i do wrong? is it me?*. People like YOU make us feel like we deserve to be treated like that, its ok to be degraded because you seem to be the only one there. You seem to be the only one around. Calling everyone whos anything like me: Screw that person. Any person that doesn't treat you the way you KNOW you should be treat is not a person that should be in your life.
Yeah, i miss you, i think about you everyday, You were my friend, before you turned into this monster, before you caused all this pain, under it all i know that sweet kind person is in there, above it all: I love you. That; unfortunately, will never change. Right now you feel dead to me, so far away, and i still love you. Distance doesn't matter, you could be living upstairs, or millions of miles away, i still love you, i hate that i love you, make it go away. Just leave, Go break another heart, stop picking up mine and breaking it every second i try to catch a breath. you could have been something great, we could have been something big, fate took over and here i am. without you, without any of you. All of you are gone, I see new people around me. I won't say i don't like it, because im begining to forget your faces, begining to remember how it felt to be demanding on how a person should be treated. But now i look at all those new people, they're no different than me, we'll share the same stories, we all go through the same things everyday. we laugh it off, support each other, but sometimes even that isn't enough. I need you, wherever you are. No wait, i just said that i didn't, so you can walk back now.. but maybe now that youre here.. NO! why can't i make up my mind? why can't we forget you? Youre my haunting spirit that sleeps in the corner of my bed, Your my dream at night, Your the words to the music i sing, Your the thoughts in my heart, youre the crazy of the mentally ill, youre the hell of all of us who want you to stop. Just stop.

If you were like me and met the wrong friends you probably know exactly how i feel. good news: Most of us feel the same way! yay!
Bad news: It doesn't get any better, buckle up! That's not the first friend you lose, and certainty won't be the last. sad.
But as Nickelback says "Theres somebody else that feels the same way, There's gotta somebody for me out there"

I was a past Insomniac, what were you?

2009-11-07T01:24:00.000-08:00

Ever noticed the "if" in the middle of that word? Yeah, guess life is just one those things, those thigs meaning where everyone is someone elses's freak show, where we think its so stupid to create science-fiction when our lives are already crazy as it is, agreed?
Hand me the pancacks, and can you pass my dignity while youre at it,please? Should i cross that tunnel? was i supposed to burn that bridge? I dont want tomorrow to come, what's gonna happen if work doesn't get done? How will my wife react after i tell her? Maybe i need to stop thinking so much and just go to sleep.. It's 3 am, and something's wrong, diognose me with Insomnia. No way! There's nothing wrong with me. No wait, crazy people dont know they're crazy, so maybe there is something wrong with me, but knowing im crazy will probebly really make me go crazy, if not crazier.

So whats insomnia like? And why do so many of us not sleep because of it? Too excited about life perhaps? Well, life is after all what we do when we're not sleeping, but bodily functions will not work without sleep, neither will the surroundings around you.
Insomnia, If not treated, can really turn your life to sever madness. People seem to live with it, some people have turned it into their lifestyle, but is it really worth turning something so body-wreckening into your daily habit? If your reading this and your insomniac, be ready to take the first step into going from sleepless to sleep too much!

Now dont get me confused with Sleep deprivation and insomnia, cuz if ur sleep deprived, then that just means your some workaholic that doesnt have enough time to be asleep cine your out clubbing or getting a divorce. But Insomnia is whether you stay one minute or 5 hours in bed and you still won't be able to sleep.

Medicine is important for health, so is excersize, oragne juice, and SLEEP! These are the human nessecities of life, if ur not sleeping 7-9 hours on a 24 hour period (per day) then something's wrong. If you're feeling drousy during the day (yes, even if it was because you were diong some boring activity) something's wrong. If you think you dont need sleep simply becaus eyou have better things to think about and do, then there is defintly SOMETHING WRONG.

I look at my fingers, then my hands, and begin to wander around the rest of my room. I look at my lamp, and stare at the cieling, give another glimps at the clock, then play with my phone a little. This is getting out of control, If this keeps happening EVERY night im gonna be physically dead by the end of next week. Despretely opening my laptop, I write a new post, chat with a few friends, facebook again for the millionith time, and end up closing my laptop with a failed etempt of trying to get tired by staring a the screen for too long, if anything my eyes are even more awake then they were..
Ok, so I'm not doing well in school, I feel very alone for living in a single room despite all the people i know and friends being around me. I have a hard time understanding what alot of Americans say either because they have a different slang or because they use terms within their culture that im not aware of. I just feel lost, this university is huge, I fell like nobody knows me when i walk, or bothers to even look, the girls here out number the guys,and probebly outnumber me when it comes to looks. uughhh! WHY am i so worried? I already have friends and i already look good, this shouldnt even be an issue, this whole staying-up-thing is making me go crazy, i shouldnt even be thinking about thease tiny things that wouldnt make sence to any sane person during the day-time. Did i gain so much weight? maybe thats why my jeans feel tight.. maybe their just tight cuz i washed them... Maybe i ishould study,well,I can't. My brain is knocked out at the moment. So: I cant do any work because my mind is out of order, i cant get this room cleaned up becaus eim too tired to get up, but i cant go to sleep because even though im exhuasted,it's just not enough to make me tired and fall asleep.
So maybe i was a little (alot) insomniac when i first came here, i wasn't sure if it was because of this tiny room,or the tinier bed, or the school that felt too hard to go to, or the parents that were leaving me in a couple of days, of the people that were just too clique-y, or the tests that seemed like they were in a different langueges, or the freezing cold wether that made me hate my life and miss the heat back home and ruined my day, or maybe all of this together.

So you know obviously know that over-thinking and over analysing and over worrying are main causes of this, SOMETHING'S WRONG. But insomnia is not adisease, and no test can diagnose you with it, but you'll know you have it if your getting little no no sleep. Cure? you dont need MY post to tell you you need to take a deep breathe, put some Lil Wayne and Drake music,and chillax ;)
Just remember to restore your life with a good night sleep before you leave the house the morning after, if u still cant sleep, send me an e-mail, nothing NourHaha couldnt cure :)

FEMINISM

2009-11-01T22:12:00.000-08:00

SAY MY NAME. A woman (irregular plural: women) is a female human... this is what it tells us in most dictionaries.. BUT,
What is a woman TODAY? A dictionary can define every word in this world, but doesnt necesarily mean its what what the world lives up to or how it does..To all u women reading this out there, what does being a woman mean to you?
I forgot i was a girl. up until tonight, I forgot about my role in this man dominated universe. Yes, i have a role, im a girl arent I? If I'm not the one to change this then I'll fail with making MY daughters and yours lives any better.
For centurys people (I dont say men because even us as girls let this happen) have acepted the fact that this is the way a woman should be, and this is how we should live, and there are certain standards we have to live up to, and if we fall back or change certain things, then we might as well hang ourselves before a man does.
SAY MY NAME.
"I was raped in the bathroom, And i keep thinking that if my father was there, maybe he would have stopped it?!... but even so, I got up,and today here I am"

"I had a son at the age of fourteen, and for eight months i didnt even KNOW i was pregnant, i thought i was just getting fat, i found out i had a baby 15 minutes before giving birth, which was when my water broke.. raising a kid was hard, but i was able to make it"

"YOU have the power to change it,its all YOU"
It made me feel like my feet were lifted off the ground, and i was carried to a cloud, and then i hit the ground HARD.
SAY MY NAME. Who would have thought that a single movie could change the thoughts of all of us sitting on those chairs that night. We all suffer, one way or another. We all have our problems and meet big stop signs and bump into huge boulders that keep us from accomplishing what we really want to do.
They all made it to the top, even though theyve been through shit. They were number one, even though the people around them all had doubts. they were the best, even though they were WOMEN.

August 2nd, Yeah we all remember that. The day our short nightmare began.
Some left, most remained. What did the remaining do? Women,in particular; lived to tell story after story where they risked their lives to defend our sands, our home, and our families against iraqies.
"I have seen many women who were stronger than men," said Susan Ahmadi, 30, a computer programmer.
A sence of Feminism did rise after the invasion amung the women who did stay. Feminism? The belief that women are entitled to all the rights they have been deprived of because of gender differences.

When you come to think of it, Our rights were always there, Shaikh Jaber Al-Sabah had already issued out political rights since 1999, It was the majority of tribal and Islamist members of parliament that blocked it. You might think it doesn't matter anymore because we already have them now right? not really, never forget that even though we do have them, the voting passed by 35 votes for, 23 against.. 23 votes, AGAINST, so a group will always, always remain against you, just because youre a WOMAN.

2005, Remember that year? Shame on you if you dont girl! April 19th 2005 lawmakers in Kuwait gave women the right to vote and run for elections. Women have been fighting for their political rights since the 1960's.
Did we just wake up to find this? Was this handed to us on a silver plate? It took lots of marching, lots of protesting, and a hell lot of fighting to accomplish this. Alot of women i know would say that it snot a bug deal, that having our political right is not important simply because its something theyre not interested in. Well? Just because ur not interested, doesn'y mean that HAVING the right is gonna hurt you anyways, it should be an option, not a prohibition!

In recent events, we have so many political partie, groups, and tribes, some with highly great thoughts that really can make this country move forward, and some just plain crazy. The ICM (Islamic Constitutional Movement) does not see that women are capable of electing themselves, becuase it "conflicts" with our laws of Islam.
Now im no shaikh, but its been made to me PRETTY CLEAR the last eighteen years of my life of taking this class in school and being taught from my parents and watching TV shows and reading about it: Islam IS NOT against women's political rights; BECAUSE, under Islamic Law all human beings are equal. How many time have u heard that sentence? I'd say hundreads if not thousands, It's what our rel gion stands for, It's why our religion is so great,because it GIVES us all our rights equally despite gender or color or personality. Kuwaiti women, all of us, are very lucky. We're free to dress and drive as we please, Its very common to see women in Abbayas walking with women with blond hair (ehm). We are active and play a very strong role in all aspects of our society. We are free to go and travel on our own. We have equel rights to men in Education (Female education began 1937) as educaion has been an important factor in liberilizing women's traditional roles in Kuwait. Free public education. Free health care. No taxes exsist.

SAY MY NAME. We make up about half of the population of 2.274 million and cover third of the country's workforce. We are also guaranteed the right to work for equal pay. An estimated 33.8% of the total workers are Kuwaiti females, the HIGHEST in our Gulf region. Labor itself has worked, for we no longer have traditional jobs for women like nursing and teaching, we see all new types of positions in Government and privatesectors, Manager in some oil industry, founder of an independant business, proffessors in universities, ambassadors, under Secretaries, Defence Ministers, and most recently: Military Fields in Kuwait Army.

What is the newest woman-empowering new rule that has been done this past month? Kuwait's constitutional court has granted women the right to keep their own passports without needing to be forced to give their husbands and guardians to obtain it.
This rule defintly gaurentees personal freedom and gender equality.
"It undermines her free will and compromises her humanity," the court said, according to a copy of the decision provided by a lawyer involved in the case.

Fatima al-Baghli, the Kuwaiti woman who triggered the court and petitioned for the right to obtain a passport without her husband's consent. She said her husband had refused to give her and their three children their passports and other personal identification documents in an effort to prevent them from leaving the country. To Fatima's husband if ur reading this: a7sn! zain esowoon feek.

Moving on to REAL examples this wonderful country has had, I must say i love each and every woman who has contributed her time to fight in the name of all of us, we need more women like you, this year has been a pretty special thanks to the four women who actually won the elections, it is a big step for the future, because these are the women who were able to get that high and make it.

These women share more than their gender in common. All four espouse liberal political views and were educated in the United States. All hold doctoral degrees, ranging from political science and economics to education.

The thing I love about women representitives, is that even though they have their gender in common, and all force liberal political views, all hold doctoral degrees (political science, economics, education) but they different in so many ways! they each tell a story and have a background of thousands of other Kuwaiti women we dont know of.

“Yes, all of us are educated, but we also have a woman who won who is married to a non-Kuwaiti, one who is divorced, one who is not yet married, one whose mother is Lebanese…. We represent different social strata.”
so really no matter who u are,where u come from,or what ur problems are. just being a girl can be enough of a reason to change something you dont like, orstart doing soemthing you do like. Ur influencing all those little girls out there and u dont even know it!

On an ending note, Facts very few of us know about the important active women in our society:
*Dr. Rasha Al-Sabah: Under-Secretary of Higher Education and one of the Amir's most trusted advisors. Named
International Woman of the Year for 1996-1997 by the International Biographical Center (IBC) in Cambridge, England.,
Dr. Rasha Al-Sabah has exerted most of her efforts in the fields of education, culture, and women's causes.

*Nabila Al-Mulla: Appointed as Kuwait's first female Ambassador. She was formerly a deputy permanent representative
of Kuwait at the United Nations. Presently serving as Kuwait's Ambassador to Austria.

*Fayza Al-Khorafi: Distinguished scholar and professor and accomplished scientist, she is the first Arab woman to be
appointed Rector of an Arab university (1993).

*Sara Akbar: Petroleum engineer, member of the Kuwait Oil Company since 1981. Played a distinguished role in
extinguishing the oil fires following the Gulf War and cleaning up one of the worst environmental disasters in history.
Received the 'Global 500' award from the United Nations Environmental Program in recognition of her work.

*Badriya Al-Awadi: Considered the top legal expert on human rights and women's rights in Kuwait. She holds a Ph.D. in
international law, has published over ten books, and has taught law at Kuwait University for the past seven years. Ms. Al-
Awadi's concerns include eliminating illiteracy and raising awareness of women's legal and political rights.

SAY MY NAME. say it loud, say it proud!

To the ppl we're obbsessed with.. We love you.

2009-10-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

Whats she doing now. Is he asleep?.. Are they having fun?..I hope he's ok. Did she even think about me today? Why is he ignoring me? He didnt call back! Maybe he just forgot,i forgive him cuz im sure he didnt mean it. I just miss her SO much :(
Lies, Excuses, scenarios of what could have happend. Yeah, we can go pretty crazy about the people we love, no joke. Yeah, YOU, ur human arent u? plz no heart breakers allowed to read this, ur not worthy of a heart, go away.

"I just want to know why we OBSSESS about the people that dont even remember we exsist!"
I was telling my friend one day, " I wanted to ask u the same thing.." after acouple of minutes of talking about it,
"I love you"

"love u too, i just wish ppl would stop being so stupid and just wake the hell up :@.. i have to go,ill talk tto u soon,keep in touch! bye!"

I hang up, and almost 5 seconds later it hit me. She said it. She said she loved me, a good friend of mine, whos never done anything to hurt me, whos always encouraged me, whos always was true to me. She told me she loved me. And i just brushed it aside. Thats when it hit me again like a thousand bricks on my chest: I was THAT person, and saly, in a way, we all are. We all have these little obsessions about ppl (im not talking about lovers, but also friends and family in general) you want to spend time with,you want to hang around with, you WANT to be friends with, but their in their own little world. In the meantime, someone YOU DONT KNOW is feeling the same way about you. People,PLEASE, be a little nicer, have just a little more consideration. Dont let work over-come you, cuz one day ur gonna look back and wonder "what if" or "maybe" and "wher did she go,she was right there :s"..YEAH,im not waiting forever, and niether will you! .. These people are living under our nose, right infront of us, why can't they see? We're right here (to every person i wrote this to,u know who u are) STOP DOING THIS. IT HURTS.

I was that stupid person, the person who doesnt know you exsist, the person who broke your heart, the person who ignored ur "i love you", the person who fell asleep while you were still awake. Wherever you are, and WHOEVER you are, I'm sorry. It won't do much, there could be hundreads of you (amot 3al th8a ;p) but still, When i sit alone half way across from home, i realize so many things, so many differences, Your really do have to live it up, you only live ONCE,ur not a cat,u dont have 9 lives, and im sure ur almost cute, dont keep your feelings in, call me, text her, tell us u love us!

Youre not heartbroken,youre a heart breaker,in one way or another, and Karma will bite us in the ass, ull see :)

SELF RECPECT

2009-10-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

"youre so beautiful. So respectful. If i didnt have so much respect for u i would have just touched like any of those other girls. I just dont know how i could find someone so gorgous like you here tonight. so respectful unu. dont ever let ANY man tell u otherwise or any man make u think different. ur boyfriend must be really lucky to have u. youre like Rihanna. No ur actually prettier than Rihanna ur so pretty girl, i wouldnt be here wasting my time telling u all this if u werent so pretty. I wish all girls were like you, so fine and sexy. I mean all the girls are so sexy. but chu something else. ur like my wifey type, ur so good girl, such a good girl like u so hard to find. .beautfil mind, beautiful body. i just love the way u look. and if i go too far to offens what im saying u just tell me so ill know my limits. im sorry if i effended u when i said you looked like Rihanna.. can i hug you?"

The girl in front of me is laughing probebly bcuz its impossible to be effended when someone tells u that u look like Rihanna, and maybe bcuz i lookd really freaked out by this first-time situation where the guy infront of me is so drunk to the point where he cant keep his balance. the girl next to me told him that i was prettier than Rihanna.

Words of a wise drunken man, so wise for knowing how i felt about myself and putting it in words. so unwise for throwing up all over me five minutes later. yeah, not the best American experience of my life ;p

A smie is automattically drawn on every girls face when anyone tells her something like this. Its universal how we all fish for compliments, we should all have a guy like that in our pockets, to just bring us right up when we feel like were going down, just careful he doesnt throw up in ur pocket though.

Drunk girls become over emotional. everything gets personal,and everything is all of a sudden the biggest deal in the world.whereas guys just laugh alot. I havent met a girl yet who doesnt get emotional when drunk, nor have a met a girl that didnt speak her heart out to the world when drunk, which can result to arguments, broken hearts, and me realizing how there are so many htings girls just keep inside for so long. To all girls out there, feel beautiful, cuz thats just what u are, and u dont need a guy to say it to u, u can just read this post and pretend im a guy im sure its the same thing. And u most certainly dont need to be drunk to speak ur mind. Youre not easy, and i think ur hilarious and cute. You dont need to wear a bra and walk around the cold dark streets, and u dont need to lap dance a complete stranger u dont know. There are other (better) ways to get a guy. Youre a girl with power,and u just need to think of Guys like accesories, if they dont match, just replace them. Im not going to live misreably for the rest of my life,and u dont have to either. Have a happy weekend and remember: SELF RESPECT.

What rude ppl look like

2009-10-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

"Excuse me, but do u knwo why theyre parked like that?" I asked a group of girls in a car next to me as one of them rolled down her windows.

"I have no idea, but we've been waiting here for 25 minutes"
"What?! 25 minutes? ur kidding right?" I was shocked, there was no way in helli was gonna wait another 5 minutes in this dark street,it was already 10 pm and i had school tomorrow.

"nope" she replied, one of her friends went down inside the Rollins building to look for the owners of the two cars clocking the exit of the parking lot.
One minute, two minutes, FIVE minutes. I am angry,i am very,very angry.
I call my friend whos been waiting for almost 10 minutes now to apolagize because i dont know how long this will take.

I see two guys come out of the building, one holding 2 boxes of pizzas, the other one walking slower than a turtle. they walk up to the car that was in-front of me, i honk at them for about 10 seconds "WHAT THE @#*@ IS WRONG WITH U?" i was on fire. I have never been so angry at someone like this before. The one with the slow walk, turns around and SMILES. i was just WTF?! LOL! ur like half an hour sitting inside and u come out with a SMILE? Some ppl are just SO rude and inconsiderate. The girl in the car next to me said things too dirty for me to post up here, but the guys start the car, (without bothering to apolagize) and i move forward, but hes not moving, i go too close and when i realised he wasnt gonna move i pressed on the break, and honked for another 10 seconds til he finally decided to move his butt out of the way. He gave me the finger and drove off. I just wish i had written down his licence plate number, the police here have no tolerence for rule breakers. and blocking an exit for over half an hour would defintly be considered a rule breaker (even if it weret, i could always protest on making one).

"Hahahaha! Nour! what was THAT? wow sounded MAD!" i had realized that i didn't close the phone when i was telling my friend to wait and she was there the whole time listening. I just wanted an apology, if he had apologized like a normal person i would have been more than fine with it, even if i had waited 25 minutes like that girl (not really,if i had waited 25 minutes i probably would have called the police on him) but still an apology would have made things so much better. I hate ignorant arrogant impolite people who think ina share3 oboohm and they can do whatever they want. YOURE NOT THE ONLY PERSON LIVING IN THIS WORLD. so stop being an idiot and respect the rest of us that were unlucky enough to share our lives with ur presence.
Hope everyone is having an amazing week! on an ending note, Never be afraid to apologize, even if u didn't anything wrong, Respect is key to a decent day, and rudeness is the 3agad's signature and trademark.

Another weekend @ Mizzou

2009-10-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

"alright! see you!"
"Thanks Nour! i had an amazing time with you tonight!"
"Its NOUR"
"Nour?"
" (lol) ,,never mind,i had agreat time too! see you soon!"

I'm in my room now, its almost 11 pm when i glance at my clock,I went back to my room after dropping a friend off her dorm room and driving back. I look exactly like the way I'd look when i was in Kuwait, 7adi kaash5a over kash5a 7ag hal ajanb,I look like im ready to party, or go to the mall and tell all the cute girls "yal 7illwa! 3e6eena weeeyyyyhh" they wouldnt understand so its ok, a9lan if they knew what it meant theyd probebly be flattered by it (or think im some lesbian freak).. I'm ready to hit the downtown and sell some drugs with friends..
i pass by 2 girls sitting in their pijamas doing homework, i stare at the floor while i go to my room.

"heeyy!"
"Go away"
"chub wela klma yal athwl yala ethlilf ashuf em9eeba 9abitk inshala"
"I hate it when you do that"
"well then maybe u shouldnt insult the pretty Kuwaiti girl passing by the hallway that went out of her way to say hello to the pethatic american boy that corrupted her path"

I didnt hear what he said next, cuz I'd slammed my bedroom door.Now what? Ok, maybe i have tons of studying to do, maybe i have alot of people to call, maybe i have so much work to get done. But seriously, now what? what do i do now? If i were in Kuwait, would i have really hit the books on a saturday night? Would i really feel this way? On a weekend night, if youre not getting drunk, then there's not much to do, unless you study, which (YES,i know) is the reason I'm here, and what i SHOULD be doing, but really?!....mali 5lg :(

I see the way students here live, how they have to pay for EVERYTHING, and they have a job, sometimes two,sometimes three, and they STILL find time to study and get drunk on weekends. Its ahard life, they make you pay if you forget your swipe card, they make you pay 5$ for mini box of crackers, they make you pay hundreads of dollars for books, student health insurance, fees, taxes, classes, I heard they were gonna start charging us the next we breathe.
Back home i dont think life could get any easier. Anything related to health is free, either inside of outside the country, grocerry is CHEAP, gas costs as much as water (ihni il banzeen ishg), you dont have to pay 50 KD for a single book for one class and you end up not even using that book during the semister. The police man here WAITS for you not to stop at a stop sign, bl kuwait if a policeman sees you speeding they will race you,and if youre cute THEY WILL pull u over just to see you some more,lol,ayam 7ilwa!

They didnt tell me about the "freeze-your-butt-off" weather, they didnt tell me how expensive life is here, they didnt tell me that the streets look nothing like Kuwait, they didnt tell me that homesickness came in this form, they didnt tell me that people are so clique-y, they didnt tell me that the school's system would be this different, or this hard. THEY DIDNT TELL ME I HAD TO DO MY OWN LAUNDRY!!! I guess there will be a TON of new things I'll be learning here for the next four,or five (and if im a loser,8 ;p) years of life. Ineteresting..
MABY! REDOONI LIKUWAIT :(

Two Days Later

2009-10-15T03:14:00.000-07:00

I cant feel my legs when i walk,i cant feel my tongue when i talk. when i text, my fingers shiver, when someone looks at me, i feel like they i just wanna hug me cuz i just look so misreable. My hands are dry, I can barely stand straight, or talk right. I am angry, i feel frustraited, my day is ruined, I feel lost somewhere on the street even though i have the GPS right infront of me, I feel like i just wanna rip this car apart, and all because the wether decided to be a big fat bitch today.

"Did u know that i was actually crying when i went to class this morning? thats how cold i felt" i was telling my CA on the floor.

"Hahaha! u havent seen anything yet, its only October"

"I hate you"

The Day my Parents Left

2009-10-15T03:06:00.000-07:00

"la tnseen etro7een il insurance company 3shan et'3eyreen ismi wet67een ismch"
"yes"
"o la tnseen et3ebeen syara baanzeen gbl ma you9l rube3"
"Inzain"
"o dymn def3ey awl ib awl o la te9refeen flosch 3ala 5arabee6 malabess"
"eshde3wa eb tesm3 klamk 3ala haathi, nseet bntk betro7 il maal bachir o betfls o ibteg3d ;p?" (umi)
"o la tenseen etdowreen 3ala she8a etha tebeen te6le3een mn il dorms be3ed senteen"
"ola!"
"eeee! sem3ey, o lat sogeen beleel bro7ich"
"yes,adri"
"o iste5demey il calling card itha tebeen itdegen 3al likuwait" (i7lif ;p?)
"ok"
"o 7jzey imbchr itha tebeen etro7een Denver"
"eee"
"o lat they3een a'3rathch, galbch kla meyet, zain ma et they3een ro7ch!"
"eee"

Mara7 akml,atwe8e3 la3ed chbdkm,but it was a full day conversation, of things that i need to remember.. yes,theyre leaving, im not sure how im supposed to respond to this.. after two months of being with the; the argueing, the shopping, the hugging, the laughing, will all be gone the next day. whats i gonna be like? am i gonna cry? what if im broke, i cant run to daddy like u guys anymore :(.... but i can steal :p
For the first time in my life, I drive home alone, in the dark. 10 pm, i park the car in the garage, and walk silently to my dorm. i walked in the living room where everyone was waiting and yelled
"PAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! WWHOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!! BRING OUT THE ALCHAHOL SOMEONES GETTING DRUNKKKK TONIIGHHHTTT!!!!"

ok, thats NOT what happend ;p but i wish it were, my ending is pretty boring, i just go to my room and do math homework (see how the first ending was so much better?) Woke up the next morning, went to classes. life goes on. I can't say i dont miss them, because i mean who wouldnt, they bought the world and handed it to me for free, i will never thank them enough for everything theyve done the past two months, nor can i ever return that love, or money, or myself in any way that would equal what theyve done for me. I wish all parents could see how much we love them, theyll never see, they wont realise it,even if we try to show them. how could we show them? its impossible!
Some not having the best day at school? Some sending me "good morning" black berry msgs to let me know they are having a wonderful morning, keep that up! and for those of u with those crappy days,stay strong! What goes wrong today becomes right tomorrow, frogs walk on this grass for a reason (yes,i see frogs jumping everwhere on sidewalks here) and i dont know what the reaosn is, but theyre probebly there for the same reason ur there, and frogs probebly have it worse cuz theyre so tiny and they have to aviod being stepped on. but then again ur so tiny and u have to avoid being stepped on too.. so were all kind of like the frogs on the sidewalk. Anyways,im tired and i dont know why im comparing you to frogs, Goodnight!

Shes gone... now what?!

2009-10-09T01:58:00.000-07:00

ARAB TIMES: Kuwaiti teenage girl hangs to death in Mishref family home

KUWAIT CITY, Oct 6: A 19-year-old Kuwaiti girl committed suicide Tuesday by hanging herself inside the bathroom in her room at her family’s house in Mishref.
Security sources disclosed the girl’s family reported the incident to police immediately after finding her lifeless body inside the bathroom in her room. Securitymen and medical emergency personnel rushed to the scene. Her remains were referred to Forensics.
A case was registered and investigations are underway to determine the actual circumstances that prompted the girl to end her own life.
In an unrelated incident, two hours after receiving information about the suicide, the Operations Room at the Ministry of Interior got another call about a corpse found in the swimming pool at the Entertainment City in Doha. They rushed to the location and identified the corpse as that of a Pakistani, in his 50s. The body was referred to Forensics and investigations are in progress to establish the actual cause of death.

By Munaif Nayef and Nawaf Al-Hamlan
Special to the Arab Times

her mother says she was "so happy" well, every mother thinks her children are SO happy, its what every mother wants to see,every mother wants to believe it so bad that she sees nothing other than what her head made her believe.
why would u lie about ur own daughters death? "feshla" "fethee7a" "3aib" were the answers my parents and most likely ur parents will give you. This society needs a nice clean car wash in their brains, thing like this should be 3aib, its not something u should feel shameful of (which is probebly exactly how the mother is feeling right now) is it something u should feel guilty over? maybe.. it is something u should feel sa dover? defintly.. but shameful? no, theres no room for that, unless that person was full of crap. trajic things happen, thats why its called life. this is real lilfe proof to every girl that says "this would NEVER happen to me" or every guy that says "i will NEVER turn gay".. things JUST happen!

some people are going off about it that this girls isnt Yasmeen! they say yasmeen livs in Salwa.this girl lived in Mishref, so how could it be that even though the REAL yasmeen died, but not from suicide, and in fact it was some other girls suicide which my friends had gone to without knowing it was her? Well, ma yndra 3nkm yakuwaityeen, bs sha6reen e6el3oon esha3at :p
then again, i would be more then happy to know it wasn't Yasmeen, lord knows how i feel about this right now.. they say no one should feel gulty,, and no one should.. but how couldnt we?! if the best friend hadnt known anything about her ever since school ended, did anyone in the family at all know what she had been through?.. if i had spoken to her,,if i had known her better,, if id met her sooner, if she were my friend.... ina low yeft7 3ml il shey6aan.

I hope maybe one day this society will be able to face depression and expose it to what it really is and cure it, rather than hiding it and keeping all the problems in..Its fear of society we have to get rid of, Its the fear of society that controls our actions, moniters our thoughts, and makes us think its "shameful" to do this and that when it really shouldnt be becuase were all humans and u cant keep hiding forever.. if u dont do something,then i will,and if idont, my daughter most likely might, and if she doesnt, ur gay son's boyfriend defintly will :)

Yasmeen.Come back..

2009-10-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

انتحار مواطنة بظروف غامضة في مشرف

كتب المحرر الأمني: اقدمت مواطنة 19 عاما على الانتحار في ظروف غامضة يجري التحقيق بشأنها داخل منزلها الكائن بمنطقة مشرف.

وقائع القضية حصلت امس عندما انتاب الخوف افراد الاسرة من فقدان ابنتهم وراحوا يبحثون عنها في ارجاء المنزل فوجدوها معلقة بحبل في دورة مياه غرفتها وابلاغ غرفة عمليات الداخلية فتوجه عناصر الامن الى موقع البلاغ وتم استدعاء الادلة الجنائية وتمت معاينة موقع الحادث وجرى انزال الجثة وسجلت الواقعة.

حضر في مكان الجريمة العميد يحيى الصالح مدير امن حولي والعقيد حماد العنزي والمقدم عدنان الفرج والرقيب اول جعفر البلوشي.

A begining of a new era? Or is this something we see in this society and forget? she was 19, she didnt even START her life yet. was she afraid? is she happy with what she did? did her friends know but didnt say anything? did her parents treat her like shit? was there something wrong with her brain? Or did she simply find life pointless and decide better now then later..? It's been the only thing on my mind really.. they say 1/10 teenagers think about killing themselves and 1/10 actually succeed in doing so.. But how depressed must she had been to take her life away? she was very good at hiding it..
I took my finals sitting next to her.. looking at her give the test back to the teacher and leave.. every morning for two weeks: her glasses, her dress, HER. she was RIGHT THERE.. maybe i could have done something.. maybe we all could have done something.. could she just not see the people all around her that could have helped her? OMG, WHAT AM I THINKING? ofcourse she didnt. she felt alone, she felt sad, she was depressed. no one could have helped her if she wasnt willing to help herself.. the only thing she helped herself in was killing herself.. thinking it would bring her peace.. and who knows maybe it did.. what are her parents going through right now? to realize that their daughter died before they did? over something that might have been their fault, over something they couldnt see (or chose not to see) something right there infront of them.. did she eat? what was the last meal she had? who was the last person she talked to? how does that person fell right now? did that person talk to her in a shitty way? does that person feel bad now? what was the last thing she said? what was her last thought? what were her beliefs of the after life she was getting into? did God talk to her before she parted? what was she wearing? what was she thinking.. i wish id known her better, i wish i were her friend. Are any of my friends feeling depressed right now? do my friends know how depressed i get sometimes? smile to that stranger walking by (7tn low kan heligy) it could be their last day, andmaybe that smile can change their minds. Life isnt scary, its just the people living in it that turn it into this dirty this. A Person here told me "too bad u dont have any friends,i cant KUwait for you to go back home" it really shocked me,got me sad. I had to leave the room, how could he say that? I dont have much to rely on here, my whole life is in Kuwait, and i will never have anything similar to it here. Does he not understand? is he an idiot for saying something like this to a hyper-sensitive girl coming here and living alone? Does he have any idea how many friends i have back home? my friends would beat his number of friends any day. I could have hit him, i could have said "well excuse me Mr. ameriCAN you be any more of an ass hole?".. but i didnt, i just left, he wasnt worth it. Its the idiots and bullys like that we have to face everyday and go through our nights feeling shitty about because of the things they do to make themselves feel better.
Yasmeen, maybe some miracle wil lhappen that might be able to read this, maybe you can feel my energy, maybe ur still alive somewhere in that spirit of urs, i hope you made the right choice, and Im sorry if u had to go through a shitty life, no one should. You only live once. and for the rest of us here: Imagine ur gonna die tomorrow, how would u want today to be? how many times are u gonna smile? if ur crying, stop. Look around you, ur still here, and u can breathe. Youre not starving in Africa, and ur not homeless in the United States. Ur in Kuwait, living in heaven, with food filled in the fridges and Maki waiters just waiting to being ur food (im starving)
"Oh it happens alot here" said a person Id talked to about here, another girl told me how her friends mother killed herself the day after her daughter's prom. since ur not that mother, u can be that girl that helped support breast cancer campaign, or that guy that started that new hit business, or the Fiminist who revolutionized the country. you can be anything you wanna be as long as ur alive (but please dont be a stripper)
I never knew you that well Yasmeen, but i miss u, and i knew exactly what u went through, its not easy, and feeling so alone in this world only makes it worse.. its like evryone around u is so happy, living life, running around to ge tthings done, partying with friends, shopping with their cool moms, and looking all pretty nd fabulous.
If u know a person who is slightly depressed, or always sad, plz help them out, they need you more than ever, try to make them feel better, or just try to be around, cuz that just might be enough for them.
Feeling sad, angry, hopeless,lonliness and worthlessness are things that can lead to low-self esteem, big problems with school, self-injury (cutting urself) eating disorders (maybe ppl will like me more if i lose weight cuz then ill perfect like those other pretty girls - anorexia).. If you know anyone that is always sad, always moving away from ppl, feelings of anxiety and lack of sleep, feeling hopeless of the future, un-interest in the activities they used to love doing, changing in weight or appetite, DO NOT sit around doing nothing, DO NOT pretend like its not there just so wont have to look too deep into it, AND DO NOT think "oh well iasked them if their ok they said they were fine" and move along with ur day. Never in my life has someone asked me one time if i were doing ok and i replied honestly, and i doubt anyone reading this has either. Depression really is a serious matter, and it doesnt stop there, Yasmeen killed herself, so whats stoping the deprresd person u know from doing that too? please be careful, we dont want this repeating, bro7na one million so might as well keep each other safe.. i have so much more things to say, but ive already typed in a really long post, i just have really strong feelings about this, especially since she was someone i knew, someone i saw walk around, someone that used to be alive.. can the parents even walk in that bathroom now? Lets just pray God watched over them, and especially over her. I never knew u yasmeen, but i love you, ur being taken car of by God in that grave, and ur not alone.allah yir7amha wisakinha fasee7 janata'ah ya rab,Amen.

BUGS.ME.

2009-10-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

ok... OMG,I AM GONNA DIIEEEE FROM THESE BUGS... WTHELL???? ma fi flet ib hal deera hadeen hal 7asharaat hed!?!?!?
Typing this, there is a bug on my screen, a bug stuck in between my keyboards. There was a DEAD HUGE HORSEFLY next to me when i was eating at Mcdonalds, along with the other two (slightly smaller) floating on and about the air on top of me.. i found 2 in the hallway, ONE IN MY ROOM @@ IT CHASED ME AROUND! 7asbalha 9aida mu9eeda, 6ele3tni mn '3erfetey o bs6t ib '3rfetey chnha meleka im3fna!
Along with the many different kinds i saw on the streets today that came in all shapes and sizes; pink, green, red, blue, purple (ok i didnt find a purple one but im sure i would if i kept walking :D)
AND SINCE WHEN DO BUGS HAVE KESHA !?!?!?!?
SINCE WHEN DO BUGS EVEN HAVE HAIR
I AM REPORTING THIS TO MY BLOG ;@

End of ur life.. is there someone by ur side to hug?

2009-10-07T22:44:00.000-07:00

I saw not one,not two,BUT THREE ppl with blue hair.... i have seen 2 people with red hair... i have seen millions of ppl with bond hair... ALL,not in one week,not in one day,BUT IN ONE MORNING,... what does that tell us?! what should this mean to me? this is a sign from God :p...mama reem please please can i dye my hair?
!
Nagham bourisly wanted me to mntion her in this blog.. bss shagol 3an bnt iste5ferala? la la 7aram tra 5osh we7da,o nffs baji il miyaneed ili yebon yetzowejon al7een,fa itha a7ad e3erf a7ad,theb6ona :p
allah e3ench naghom itha ili ga3d yegra al7een heligy..o itha kaan 5ubri 5obrcih,LOL ihidni wi7wl 3eleech :p

He bends over and whispers something in her ear.
"no,i dont want to" he says ok,and kisses her shoulder.

He opens the door for her,they leave, he opens the car for her and helps her with her seatbelt, then kisses her cheek.

theyre laughing in the restaurant, he wipes her mouth with a napkin then kisses her lips, he helps her get up and gives her her stick, walks infront of her as quickly as his old feeet can carry him to open the door for her, she pats his back as she leaves.

the things youve just read arent between one couple, the things youve just read arent things im not used to seeing everyday. these people are not young, these are 60-90 yearold ppl, going out and about, and no matter how old or sick or gross they look, they seem to be having the time of their life with someone just as gross and old and sick by their side. something beautiful ive come to notice here is how old ppl treat their spouses. ye7leelhm, li7tram ili beenhm mu 6ebee3i, i love how the old men here do the simplist things to turn them into gold later on.
umi itgol "hathi itgola mabi,ibosha 3ala chtfha,low i7na ingol manabi e9er5on 3eleena :p" ymkn wayid ga3da etbale'3, ow ymkn 9a7 kalamha, but never in my life have i seen two old kuwaiti couple treat each other like this, an old kuwaiti couple would probebly never go out.. why? where did the love disapear? was there any love a9lan? or was it just yala shofha lelet il de5la and live happily ever after.. probebly.. ppl get so busy with kids, that once these kids are all grown up and leave, theyre left alone all over again, they feel like strangers probebly, and some probebly choose to keep it that way. thats sad, i dont think i can live wih someone who isnt really living with me, whats the point of marraige if ur not in it for the love,the forever, and friendship,the respect, and the other great aspects of life?

I've come to think of this because i see my parents right now, my dad was telling umi the other day "ee,il yahal ikbrow o hedona o ma7ad buga ib hl denya '3eeri o '3eerch,nffs ayam awl" (ayam awl = 40 years ago) and it really is true, becuase i am the last child (by mistake, they never forget to tell me :p) and now that im here, theyre leaving me in a couple of days, and once their back in Kuwait, no one wil be left in the house. it will be an empty house all week long except for Fridays, and Friday will be everyone minus one, not that id make any difference, bs sha6reen e6rshooni "Nour! abi myy!" "nouro! yebey il karasi!" "noura! plz wez3ey el 97oon!" ESMI NOUR :@ "ili ohwa, yalla" NOW I WONT BE THERE TO DO ANY OF THAT! thats a nice change, i wont say i miss that.. i miss Maki, a7ad feekm lazm ye6ewe3 ero7 ma3yy when i go back to Kuwait,IM STARVING!

BedTime Stories

2009-10-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

I am just full of stories this weekend,since most of u werent able to sleep last night madri laish, so if u feel this way again tonight, read this,it might turn into good bedtime stories:
1-
"are we taking a quiz?" asked a very bored someone in the back
"It wouldnt be a Friday if we had no quiz =D" Mudersna il melee8
"BUT,this week's quiz will be online! FIFTEEN QUESTIONS!"
"WHAT?" you hear ppl gasping "he needs to go to hell" a whisper in the back,The proffesor ma sm3, bs likuwaitiya ili ga3da ib awl se6ra ilge6etha 3a6ayer.
"Deadline will be tomorrow midnight. have a good weekend!"
aiwaaaaaaa!!!! THIS IS MY CHANCE TO SHINE!!!! i studied all day on Friday, with a goal of completing 200 math questions,AND I DID *a9afg 7ag nfsi* i wake up the day after.. raje3t everything from chapter three,it took hours,but by the time it was 10 pm,5la9 i had to take the quiz, 6b3n mu take the o bs,hehe la sualif thanwiya redet il jam3a,bs halmara manbershm 3ala reeli,l2na mustawana 9aar arf3 mn chithi. 3indi lo7a 9aboora kbeera katba feeha kl il 8awaneen wel mula7ethaat. kaatba feeha EVERYTHING that will pretty much get me a good grade. ihad a goal of 90%, i knew i wasnt gonna do perfect by wishing on a 100,its math!
astash-hid ib rbi, azahb awraagi (7tn knt 7a6a bookmarks inbetween the pages 3shan a6al3 il ijaba asr3 itha tewehgt :D)...yalla Nour,lets do this! GO! GO! GOOO!!
I open the page to see the shock of my life.. the quiz did not cover chapter 3. it was chapter 5.... Anti7r? asheg ehdoomi?! i had no idea what to do.. what do i do?! i just stared at the page for a minute,not sure. 6ale3t il kitab, i knew it wouldnt do me any good. i realised on the far right corner that time was ticking: 28:15... i only had about half an hour to finish this quiz, get ur butt up and start doing something, i wasnt planning on any more zeros from now on, o wayid te3ebt,i mean who studies on a friday AND saturday night? what a loser!
a7il,a7il,a7il... i hope im getting this right.. all of what im doing is just what i remember during class,o alah ye3lem itha fi ashya2 galha il professor wana ser7ana arsm!
araje3 on most of the questions,bss 7eset ina bs 5la9 mu5e ma gaam yesto3b ar8aam,ive been studying all day things and now im doing something tottally diferent. bi6agag ayeeb ili ayeeba,i hope this turns out ok.
AND IT DID! 80%! ye7leeli :p 5la9 mn youm o raye7 mara7 adrs ..laish adrs?! quizes ili 6afet derajat zeft wana thab7a 3umri derasa,and this quiz 7tn ma fecheet il kitaab o ybt 80!? ne9ee7a 7ag kl ili dasheen il jam3a : la tedresoon :p

2-
just another day at the Union - ga3da adrs musi8a, wa7d ya ge3ed ymi, he was a little too hyper,kl sa3 esolif,o kl sa3 enekt, ya weld el 7alal 5lni ib 7aali abi adrs!! 25r shey i gave in and we just started talking, and i kept complaining how hard music is, and it wasnt hard as much as i hated studying, i just didnt feel like doing anything, o hl 9bey klsh ma kan ga3d esa3ed, after almost half an hour of complaining how much i hated music,and how hard it was, and how i just wanna sleep right now, se2elta "so whats ur major?"
"music" :p

3-
"Hey! i saw ur parents!"
"yeah haha they told me!.. Theyve seen you more than once, Theyre leaving next week though"
"aww... are u sad theyre leaving?"
"yes :p"
"uuhhh.. u dont LOOK sad?!"
"oh no,trust me im breaking up inside :p"
I know this might not be the nicest thing to say, but im pretty sure anyone in my place right now would feel the same way, i have to admit im a little excited about them leaving,its gonna be TOTTALLY different when theyre gone,i will be completely independant, no one to help me, no one to wash my clothes, no family to visit everyday.
BUT,all of this changed the day they came in one night, gave me spagitti "ta3aley bachir imbchr 3al '3ada,baseweelch chinses chiken gbl ma enro7" while she was saying this, my dad was putting curtains for my door-less cabinet which had all my clothes showing,,next to him,was a brand new refridgerator he got me the day before.. and all of a sudden, i look around my room: my backoack, my mobile, my clothes, my licence, my pocket money, the nail polish i had on, the hairspray in my hair, that eyeliner that made my eyes pretty, the blankets that kept me warm at night, the Ipod that entertained me what i have to take long walks from class to class everyday.. everything in this room was becuase of them. the person i am today is becaus of them (not sure if theyre so proud of that though lol) After having them stay here for two months, they have done things alot of parents wouldnt do. "haha! ana oboy al7een nyym bl Kuwait!"says a friend of mine also studying in the states when i was talking about how much i appreciate what they did. I dont think i can ever re-pay them for all of this. how can you? we're so weak, we dont have an sources, even if we did, what they do for us wil never come to close comparison to what we do for them.
"Thank you" never seems enough, every time i say it,i feel like they brush it away, like its not something that would matter to them wether i said it or not. becuase im their baby girl, and thats all that matters. i hope i can be a good mother. i hope u reading this will be able to be a good parent too. it really is the hardest job in the world. never perfected. but somehow always perfected at the same time.
Maybe after you read this you'll go thank youre parents too, even if they didnt let you go to chocolate bar today, shnu ye3ni,go tomorrow :p After all this, i dont know how im gonna let go of them, but now that i think about it, they were the main reason for my homesickness not to be so bad, they were the main reason im here,and i appreciate that to the fullest.
"Ma 3endch ila hal esboo3 bss,, ay shey tebeea goleelna, 3shan enseweelch yaa.. nbi enrd likuwait we7na met2kdeen ina KIL SHEY ok 3ndch"..... awwww....

3-
"Hey! come join us and get a free t-shirt and pizza!"
"oh,ok,cool!"
It was one of those things they had at the Union. it was lunch time,i was starving. and there was free pizza AND free t-shirt :p
" This is responsibity drinking week, our goal is to make sure that all students particpate and become aware of the importance of driving while being sober" hhmmm.. why am i here?!
After a boring half an hour of hearing how "drinking while driving is bad" and "blah blah blah" i move along quickly until im left with a t-shirt saying "Rocking October since 1988 - Drink responsibly!" 2 pizzas, and a poster that said "drunk driving = fancy bracelts" with police cuffs colored in pink :p

4-
We all know him, we all love him, Reem has never seen him. Iya says he gave her a flying kiss bs ana mara7 a9edegha. " yyyyyy zo8a!" "uuff 7adi amot fiii!" are common things u hear when a girl hears his name, or is brought up in a conversation.He loves fufu, And he loves my hair. He can be the ice breaker between you and the girl u dont know sitting next to you. he is the sweetest thing to ever walk kuwait. We all know him, and if say you dont know him then ur lying. bnat. his name, is Oliver. Im not gonna say anything else. becuase we all know who he is, where he works, and how crazy he is. NO, NOT OLIVER TWIST. NOT OLIVE OIL. Im talking about OLIVER, THE CHOCOLATE BAR BOY. yes,yes. hes famous. we all love him. adorable guy! mafi bnya bl Kuwait mat3erfa, weley lel7en ma shafeta lyy 6ofha n9 3emerha, tara il sebeb il we7eed laish chocolate bar rab7een mna ohwa, imyenin il bnat hal 9bey!
The last time i saw Oliver, was a month before i left Kuwait. i was taking my beautful neices to chocolate bar, and Noufa (8 years old) was saying "ARE WE GONNA SEE OLIVER?! MAYBE HE'LL GIVE ME ANOTHER FREE CHOCOLATE BAR THIS TIME!" 7tn il yahaal i3erfoona! we go inside and then go upstairs "OLIVER!"
"heeeyyyyy Nour How r u i miss u so much where have you been!" he comes up to me and hugs me. LOL!!!!! na3am?! 5air?? what just happend ?hehehe he lets go and hugs Noufa.
"Wait! i will go call my friend,she loves ur hair!"
he runs off,comes back two minutes later with 3 girls (towhm kanow 2 girl al7een 9arow 3? '3l6aan chan ybt il m63m ib kubra!), one of them was holding a camera
"Hello!, i love ur hair,u and ur sister are so cute! can we please take a picture! i promise i will not send for anyone" 3eshtew :p not send for anyone be3ed,wala ma athn, hatha weyhi itha ma bluetooth-teeha 7ag all the philipinos in Kuwait!
"Anti Nour why dont you marry Oliver? he really likes you!" Noufa asked while we were eating.
" Because im too young, wait until im 26 and then we'll get married, bs laish tebeena netzwj?"
"so he can give me free chocolate bars everyday!"
so girls, if all else fails, and i dont find that american boy to marry.. mali '3eer Oliver :p
fa low seme7tow,ili 7a6a 3eenha 3elee etsheelha, l2na ana miste3da athbe7 ay we7da etyey ib 6ereji ana o Oliver, lat goleeleen ma glt! kaach ga3da tegreen :p
To all you AUM students KU-ers: Hope u have a wonderful frst day,best wishes! feedback PLEASE! please tace care of urselves,and remember: drunk driving = fancy bracelets :p

abi maki abi maki abi maki abi maki!!!!!

2009-10-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

Just another day at the Student Union! study, study,study. Strabucks,starbucks, starbucks! the person on my left? sleeping.. the person on my right? snoring.. the person infront of me? clicking pictures of me. shitsaween yabnya?! a3erfch et3erfeeni 3shan it9owereeni ibkefch?! ymkn mabi 9oweri 3ndch, klsh wela il fethee7a 3aad :p

chekcheket o raa7et....... ta3aaaley ween ryy7a?! 3ad 76eeha ib jereeda wla shey mu bs et9owreen wet5eleni bl laptop malch,maku fyyda itha chithi,il amreeki ili betzeweja shlon ra7 yelgani itha ma shafni bl jereeda? eee l2na reyli il amreeki il muste8bey ra7 ekon muthe8ef kla yegra jarayed!!
Nagham Boursly e9demtni ilyoum.. itgoley intey safertey welnaas tezewjet... ya bnaat,YA BANAT tara il 3gl zeeen!! ala ma 3a6akm 3umr 3shan awl ma et9oreen 14 tetzwjoon,mu shyfeen 5air?! istansow ib 7ayatkm, 5alow Reem Alkndri itgezezkm ib seyartha..LA7GEEEN 3al zawaj wel 3yal o 3awar iraas.. wela bet9eronli "um il bnat" 2?! mu b3d al7een il mutha chithi, myaneen alah eshfeekm,,,,,bss ana itha legeet reyley ihni mali she'3l baa5tha low inshala 3umri 1 :p eee b3d il ne9eeb ma yey ila mara! eee walla.. naas etzeheb jadawela 7g il jam3a o naas tetzwj,6E7SOW YALI BL JAM3A, '3erkm tezewj o 9aar a7la mnkm (lol adri wayid tana8eth :p)

There is this guy who works at the front desk in the union (dont worry im not gona marry him ma ashofa yegra il jereda wayid :p) he was the first person i talked to when i came to MU,i asked him where the International center was.. after 2 weeks,i found him againa and asked
"Where is the nearest starbucks i can find on campus?"
with a sly smile he says "the one right across this room :)" LOL,feshltni ala efeshlk
I laugh,He laughs, We both laugh,I leave.. IL MUHM..

Last night i left the union before midnight, by the time i got home i remembered that i forgot my Itouch,, a7la shey! insey shey ib amreeka,KLISH,MNU GAL INA A7AD BEBOOGA?! i was so sad... how am i gonna live without music.. without my baby,, is it lonely,is it lost.. is the person who stole it feeding it,keeping it warm at night (7asha wld reyley il amreeki mu ipod :p)
i went back the next morning, i found the guy,smiled at him and went looking for my Itouch,, i couldnt find it.. uufff!! inzain should i askt the front desk?! ma yendera,i was the last person to leave the union,maybe they took it... no no,i decided to wait til after my class,i dont wanna talk to that cute guy, 9ara7a atwatr ana 3ala hal jamal il rabaani :p

i came back after class,he was still there, ooooh 5la9 let me just ask him and ge tit over with.. shafni 3n bu3d milyoon mitr im9eeba,hd kl ili ib eeda o jablni 3ala ma mesheet 9ooba,, i smiled and said "hi"
"hi,did u by any chance forget ur ipod last night?"
"HOW'D YOU KNOW?" @@
"Before i left i found it,and i knew u were the last person sitting there" 9ij ma testi7i,itla7eth ween ag3ad ba3ad haa :p
"OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!"
its a good thing hes really nice,otherwise gdr ib kl basa6a i5sha 3enda wegol i dont know.. bss ohwa mn 7uba lee o yebey ay sebeb bs iklmni fa sawa chithi (chithi wayid ga3da athr6?!)

el 7mdla everyone had a good first week of school.college,glad ur all enjoying,make the best out of it.. 7ADI MISHTHYA MAKI! mnu iyeebli :(
update me if anything new happens, 7tn low shey se5eef nfs "elyoum shft heeligy" golooli shnu kan labs o shlon re8emkm,ana tra ehni 9aar feeni n89 halaga, il kl m7trm nfsa,shkley ana il hiligya beenhm :p
have a pleasent weeknd everyone! Love With Pride,Hate has Died <3

Blue nails. Orange Toes

2009-09-29T22:47:00.000-07:00

Today an american guy passing by me in the street told me i had amazing hair.. ya 7alatkm ya amreekan,wala low ikweetey igol 7g we7da she3erha 7ilo chan hefeta e6raag o meshet :p

Statement on Reported Robbery On our campus (mawa8f il seyarat iili 3nd my dorm):
At 2:36 a.m., Sept. 28th, a girl from the university of Missouri was robbed by a black mal. she was walking through the parking lost she felt a hard pull on her purse which was on her shoulder. As she turned around, the robber reached around her and grabbed her from behind. As she struggled to get away, the purse came free from her arm and it fell to the ground. The robber let go of her, took the bag, o 9kt housha beena o beenha 3al jn6a.. he was able to win, and run away. alla ya5thik inshala.
The robber was tall, clack outfit, and was wearing a ski mask (7asbala ga3ed biskiimo :p)
i feel so bad for the girl,i hope she ok.. Theres another girl living in an on-campus apartment mskeen
she8etha klha e7trget.. she had to stay with her friends because shes kind of homeless now, she doesnt have clothes, makeup, pictures, books, pillows, tooth paste. all she has is nothing.

allah esa3edhm msakeen, 9ij ili it9er fi mu9eeeba ihni iro7 feeha.. deerbalkm bnat! la7ad ege9 3eleekm!!!

I HAVE AN EXAM TOMORROW! DU3AA2KM! I have the messiest room in the world, and the bluest finger nails in the universe :D
fesshhhlllaaaaaa elyoum ikteshef tina the backpack i bought LAST MONTH still has a secuirity tag!!! al7een shegoloon il ajanb?! hal kuwaitiya mu shyfa 5air etbog jnaa6 mn il mkteba :o

when i went to the bookstore,i told the guy about the situation and i showed him the reciept.. chan egol "oh,you came here to remove the tag?" NO,I CAME HERE BECAUSE ANA FATHYA O MA3NDI CLASS IN 10 MINUTES :@ ahbl! ye3ni laish begolk isalfa itha ma knt abeek itsheela..mn zeenk? low knt 7ilo chan glna ok ymkn ayey kl youm a6el3ley ay 3ethr ay salfa agolha.. maalat!
Love but not Kill, take but not steal, those are the words of wisedom :p
I can hear someone screaming outside, bs awl mara legaafti mat5eleeni agom ashof shisalfa, im too tired.. goodnight and sweet dreams!

You start University.. I Start 2nd Midterms..

2009-09-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

ya bnat mishref ili te5erejow: I have news saying ina 3shaer 9aar feeha 13 boya :p
ya 7alathm katakeet! be6oofna all the action this year, and good luck to all new 12th graders,own the school,its urs to ruin :)
weeeeeyyyhhhh... 7adi mishtaga 7ag salima,, malat 3eleha alah ya5ethha inshala!
il proffessor mal il reyathiyaat gali i should drop his clas becuase if i dont i might flunk.. 9ij ma yeste7ey 3ala weyha.. bdaal ma igloli ya 7ayalah mn yana! he should feel LUCKY to have me in his class... 6rda ashkara?! 9ij il naas mat 8dr :p
today was extremely windy, fa il bnat o il9abayn ili kanow labseen nefaneef ilyoum ala e3eenkm o3ala ili 6ele3 mnkm :p
I have recieved great feedback about everyone's first day of college,inshala doom mistanseen, Iya Jasm i5tr3t lmn deret 3n as3ar il kutb ili ihni, klshey ihni '3ali ge6e3,low oboy ya5ethni webee3ni bl soog ma eyeeb se3er ili ga3deen nedfe3a al7een :p ok s chini wayid ga3da abale'3.. anyways,enjoy the rest of ur week..O 6E7SOW NEFSII,YES,IM NOT ALONE ANYMORE!!!

Weekend!

2009-09-26T23:04:00.001-07:00

all i have to say is um il bnat is aload of crap.. al7een wasnt the whole point of the show to expose girl power? to show everyone the importance of having an education for a girl in todays world? wasnt exploiding alot of kuwaiti wives lifyles in the show a part of awareness for the rest of us living or a seeing a lifestyle such as this? Wasnt the ending SUPPOSED TO BE something like this: ili et9eer doctor,o neseema o e5etha yefte7oon salon,welthanya it9eer 6aba5a,o binaa2an 3ala ili benoo e9eroon a'3nya o a8weya o meshooreen? mu bs hb o db yalla 5netzwj wenyeeb i3yaal,shyfyda?! 5la9 yalla ana al7een betzwj o beyeeb yahl shala 7aadi yaya amreeka adrs.. yalla ta3aal ya amreeki e5ethni tra im waiting :p
Tonight after my friend left my dorm room,i stayed in a little then decided to head out to the lounge to study shweya. saturday night. take a wild guess what everyone else was doing :p

de5elt il lounge and two ppl were BEEEEEEEEEEPPP!! :p
I left and went to the study room. ma abale'3 lmn agol everyone on this 4 floor building was drunk,everyone.. well,everyone but me,ana emsecheena ga3da adrs (a)
YES YES YES! MU ANA IL WE7EEDA ILI BE67AS ALEEN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! 6E7SOW YA REB3EY 6E7SOW O 7ISOW BILI ANA FII :p i hope everyone has a fun day,o 7g ili in AUM tra ana 7adi me7tra inkm ma ra7 tebdon ila esbo3 il yay,ana a3areth hatha il shey wa o6alb bete'3yeer!

Today i drove to St. Louis,it was almost a 2 hour drive,and it was raingin like crazy :s
klsh mu wekta ye3ni ana awl mara asog ib amreka o il jow yeg3ed ethere6 3eley..
anyways for all of u who havent added me on BBM plese do so,check my FB or MSN to get my pin,love u all! please remember the first day of college is not the end of the world,but the begining of your life :)

Home sick..?!

2009-09-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

"abi ard likuwait.. abi aro7 il avenues.. abi ashof '3erfetey.. i miss my friends.. abi 3eediya,ana fe8eera... abi chinese chicken, abi 9bey kuwaiti yemde7ni wgol ma shaaf '3eeri mn jmaal (netham il 3agad 3ereftoo :p?!) 3shan a3a9b wagol ina ohwa mu metrebey, abi adg 3ala Dana Al-Qattan wagolaha la te9be'3 she3erha ashgr l2ni shft wa7da teshbeha ihni bss american version and she looks UGLY.. abi aro7 theneweyet mishref.. abi aro7 il jm3iya, abi asoog seyarti bl 5eleej, abi aro7 9alon murt o5oy wasawii athafri.. abi ard il beet"

Septemeber 21st, awl mara, for more than one month now. awl mara eyeeley she3oor ini abi ard il kuwait.. ilyoum eid,o mafi a7ad. i didnt know what to do. maku zwara, mara7 ashof my cuzins ili ana a9lan ma ashofhm ila mn eid le eid.. maku 3edeya.. maku 6al3a ma3a erfejaaati.. ma 7est o d5t 3ala ma dewertley shey albsa,wla 7eneet 3ala sara o gltlaha wedey aro7 il zawara ib bijamti l2na mali 5lg.. this eid was VERY different.
the homesickness began at 12 pm,and ended at 12 midnight,after a really nice unexpected hug.

Did i lay around? did i cry? 7nchd bl 7na 3nd that cute american boy? (maybe a little :p)? did i kill myself?(lol,well not really im alive to right this..)
NO. I TOOK A STAND. I GOT UP. showered,put on a long new dress I bought, put some makeup on (YES,even the eyeshadow!) left my room and decided that today was gonna be a new fun day.. i walk in the living room and ammediately:
"wow, why are u all dressed up?"
"hey girl! love the dress!"
"awww.. u look so good,going on a date?"
this proves my point: when u feel good. u look GOOD, i had random ppl i never knew compliment how nice i looked. it was a nice feeling i went through all day while walking.. so this sort of became my Eid, a really good one too! i spent my afternoon with a girl on my floor and he rpuppy, cutest thing in the world! 5la9 bnat, 8erert ina lmn atzwj wa7d amreeki ra7 neshterey chlb :p
puppies arent allowed in the dorms, bs ehya yaybeta tehreeb.. et5eley 3ndha bl weekends o be3dian bl weekdays yeg3ed 3nd her bf..
naas 3endhm BF o nass.. 5eleeni sakta :p
inshala kilkm estanestow bl eid.. wenshala klkm 9ertow a'3nya 7g youm wa7d! o ana agol 7g youm wa7id becuase ana adri inkm 6eyertoohm kilhm bl soog.. rebe3ey intow 5ubz eedi :p
i have THE MATH TEST at 6:30.. du3aakm PLEASE,l2na i really wanna do good :(
7adii 5yyfss.. bs ana ra7 agol ini ra7 asawi zain o ina il imte7aan 3ejeeb o ini amot 3al reyathiyaat 3shan Naghm Bourisly ma tethbe7ni :p
Nagham me and everyone else misses 7abooba too <3
and I really do see SO MANY PPL i know yeshbehoonkm!shft te8reebn kl erfeejati ihni bss 3ala american versions :p bss lat5afoon bnat intow a7la ib alf mara l2na adri inkm ra7 te36ooni mn 3edeyetkm :p!! hehe,anyways,im in class right now (adri fara'3a im writing this post now) bsss shasawi ya rabi ana klsh mu sa86a ib hl mada fa ma a7taaj antebeh.... heh.
stay safe,sober,and lovely. have an amazing day!

3EEEDKM MBAREK!!!!!!

2009-09-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

alrrriiiigghhhhttt!!!!" i gotta feelin WHOOHOOOOO tonights gonna be a good good nighhhtt.." - Black Eyed Peas.
i got a full grade at my math quiz.. feeling VERY hopeful about tomorrow test.. im really afraid.. mthl ma il kl ydri ana se8et ib awl imte7aan ib mada Food Science (pleas le7ed igol 7g umi o obuy) fa 7adi mekte2ba o 7asa ina mara7 asawi zain.. a7la shey 3aad,imte7aan reyathiyat bl eid,9j ina ra7 ekon youm 7ilo :p

bnat,ana 8erert ra7 atzawaj amreeki. ya 7alathm ihni, o ya zeen e3yaali ili ye6le3 ashgr weley ye6le3 e3yoona zrga.. o tra ili tabey la teste7ii dezoley email fee wayid 9bayan ekfaya 7ag il kl :p
3eeeeedkm embaarek!!!!! i hope everyone has a really nice amazing fantastic 3ejeeb lovely sweet 7ilo cute day :)
im gonna have a hell-ish day, BUT i will get dressed up :D ill post it on FB too 3shan a7iss ini weyaakm.. Nagham itgoley goleelihm ina elyoum Eid 3ashan ye7tefloon ma3ach (8ezdha 3shan ye36onch floos) bss ana itha ihni gltlihm e7tefal bi6el3oon thaak il bu6l ili a6wl mnkm o mni weze8oona :D
anyways, its noon here, i have to go get ready for my lovely exam, missing everyone back home ALOT. enjoy the hoidays everyone, and have an amazing life after reading this post :)

Friday Night

2009-09-19T00:03:00.001-07:00

Tonight was probebly the first weekend night that i feel like i REALLY had fun, i felt like i was speding time with people that almost felt like friends back home (i said ALMOST fa please lat 39boon :p) it was a fun night!
fi wa7id mnhm mn awl ma te3erft 3elee len 6ele3t o ohma mskeen sekraan o yel3eb il wii weze8 il bu6l kl sa3.. kla inadeeni NourHaha, then he made up "Nora the explorer" hehe :p 5osh welmbnat eshye7lelathm 5osh naas bnat 7alal (walla ma yendera :p) bss lazm awel 25th il ithen mn Nagham gbl ma a9aad8hm, b3d tedron hl bnt ma tertha asawi shey ila ib muwafe8etha, 7asha reyley mu irfeeja!
6b3n into yali bl kuwait mat frgon been il weekend wl weekday, kla wa7d 3ndkm,ana AN6ER,A7SEB il ayam il 7ilwa 3shan etmr 3shan il ayam il a7la bl weekend to9l..
tomorrow is a game day,EVERYONE is going to the footbacll game - EVERYONE but me ofcourse.. madri lel7een ma te3ewedt 3ala salfet il kora, ma3ana low 70,000 ppl usually show up for the games.. bss madri.
i know someone here that took a picture with THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!! and his arm was around HER and HER ARM WAS AROUND HIM.... ISNT THAT AMAZING!!!?!?!!? OMG 7ETHHHHAAAAA @@ i wanna be with the jonas brothers :(
jaahzeen 7g il 3eed?! a3eed wagol 7g ili ma gara my last post ow ga3ed e7awil ye7gerni.. tra bab il 3a6aa2 mefto7 :p
MATH TEST MONDAY.... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ed3ooli asawii zain :(
missin everyone,especially YOU <3

Exam Week

2009-09-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

I still have about 1000 Exams until we're done.. ala e3afi netham mua7d: one quiz,one test,final :p hehe alla ly red hl ayam o alla ya5eth ili 7a6 hl netham o ala ewerey Nouria ili i7na shfna golow ameen!

I missed my food science class, woke up early in the morning and deprived myself from my 4 hour sleep, studied alot all night, not knowing what kind of questions ill be getting in my quiz, as i finish my quiz and get to my results, a cute little box flashes between my eyes:
"Thia quiz is not graded, you simply recieve THREE points for taking it"

athbe7 3umri? golooley shasewey?! BUT, (theres always a bit :p) im not TOO depressed about it, l2na bachir il imte7aan il 9ji ili ra7 ikon in class and not online. so thats good.
I have a music test tomorrow too.. hatha 7tn lel7een ma fecheet il ketaab.. wla seme3t il musi8a,bl thb6 madri weeen alah ga6ni. but there will be time inshala, and thank you everyone for the wonderful "good lluck!" support, i like that :)
ana 9yyra wayid semra, madri laish, ymkn mn il athaam, bs lel7en ma sweet shey.. lol shley beredlkm sooda 3ala sena il yaya :p shlon il soug? any better luck? ana madri shlon maara7 akon in Kuwait bl eid... maku 3ayadiii :( abi floos... bab il 3a6aa2 dyymn mefto7 3ndi itha a7ad yabini ashaarka ib 3edeeta :p
Im finally gonna go get glasses, i forgot mine bl kuwait, and i get random headaches when i read words for too long. And thank you Dilila for ur email this morning o ashwa ina u have e-go so now ma 3ndch ay 3ethr lmn te7gereen my emails wetogleen "META?!" ... hathi sualifch :p hehe love u <3I love everyone reading this right now, if ur reading this, u are really special to me, I love you! and u look really hot today.... inzain yalla al7een doorkm 3shan temde7ooni :pHope everything is good with everyone, if its not them feel free to email me, webcam with me (looking at my face might make u feel better, God gave me a cute face, might as well use it :p) Thank you yasmeen for that ausome msg,miss u loads! OMG I MISS ALL MY FRIENDS :(yalla ma buga o tebdoon jam3a.. and please people: stop stressing about swine flu,tra walla its not a big deal. ITS JUST THE FLU!!!Take care of urselves, if u cant then i will be more than happy to assist u.. a7ibkm!

Haha's Post # 22

2009-09-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

Everyone is either out partying tonight, or asleep. the only person il fathya ubu il fathawa ga3da tedrs on a saturday night is ur favourite cutie in the world.
i see so many drunk ppl pass by, its funny :p
i saw 2 naked guys running in the hallway, not the best moment in my life :s
WAI3!! Aalah ly wereekm ili shfta!! ge6ee3a, ihni m7d ye3trf ib shey isma malabs. lbnya telbs shorts nfs 6ool 9erwaalha, laish labsa shorts bl asaas allah ye3lm, 6l3ey ib 9erwaalch tra walla maku ferg :p
i can see alot of drunk ppl lurking around our main garden out front. ye7leelhm klhm thy3een. i can see someone taking off his shirt, he threw it at his friend and kept walking.. shisaalfa elyoum il kl yebey yef95 :P
then i see 2 people carrying boxes of alchohol across the hall
"Hey Nour! wanna join us?"
"oh,sure,what are u guys doing?"
"nothing much, just us and a couple of guys gonna get drunk and do drugs,c'mon!"
"ummm.. thats ok,i have an exam to study for anyways. have fun!"

LOL,a friend asked me ams "so,, r u a virgin?"
"yes"
"NO WAY! HOW?"
ihya werfejatha in9edmow, chna gyletlihm ini ismicha :p

the things Americans do here make me laugh sometimes, its just so different from back home!
the gay emarati guy i told u about isnt so gay after all.. emseecheen bygeen his iPhone and he still cant find it (NO I DID NOT TAKE IT I SWEAR!!)

Thank you farah AlR for the wonderful photos, really made my night. inshala u girls always have outings like that. fajor il awathi ma gdrt 3ala il posat ili imsewyetha, still loving ur tan!
Dana Q realy liked ur outfit, keep looking hot for the boys :)
Farah duwaisan lol sorry bss bgolch nfs il 7chi ili glta 7g Iya "3mri mara7 at3wd 3elech bl 7jab" LOL lmn shftch glt wiii hathi mita et7ejebt?!! chan astow3eb :p

missin everyone back home!! legeetow ehdoom 7g il eid? i hear ina il soug 9yyr awye3 mn 3agad il avenues.. keep me posted people!
I'd beter finish my chapter before i go to bed, WE START MIDTERMS NEXT WEEK@@
IM NOT READY!!! YUUUMA!!! KL SHEY 93B O MU3E8D!!!! RA7 AS8E66 :(

I'm eating Doritos!

2009-09-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

YES,ur looking at the master of Algebra.
ASK ME ANYTHING.
"are u amazing?"
YES,I AM :D

i love how i have my own blog and therfore can write anything i want.. YEAH THATS RIGHT,U ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME IN MATH!!!!!
i feel sorry for u.. having to read everything I Say.. oh well,the things u do for love :p

to all the ppl who have been telling me "PARTY IB IRMETHAAN :o:o:o???"
OK,PLEASE SEM3OW: "It's a party in the USA!" is SONG from Myley Cyrus (YES I LOVE HANNAH MONTANA U GOT A PROBLEM?) .. so just chillax ;)
ANYTHING on my topic that has a (8) next to it is taken from a song.. im too lazy to make anything up :D

Swine flu: The board decided if the percentage of students with swine flu is more than 50% their closing down the campus.. ye3ni i7temaal ikbeer ard likuwait ib nes il semister :p
9yyra akreh 3eeshte lmn aro7 il class.. alf wa7id eke7! the people on my left and right and back (theres no front cuz i always sit in the 1st row) are SICK! its only a matter of time until i join them. mabi :(

Americans here have fast walks.. like,REALLY FAST, chna la7eghm yenii.
a couple of ppl i met commentd my walk,one of them made fn of it and called the "kuwaiti walk" 3eshtew 9aar fii kuwaiti walk b3d :p
7tn the short ppl there walk like there running :s eshde3wa... tyt :p

elyoum 9aar fii fire alarm drill.. i was so panicked! LOL 9rt chni meynoona started packing my thing all together not knowing what i should take with me.. al of a sudden i realise im taking too long and i throw everything on the floor and run out ... i see everyone walking out i follow them with my socks...
ewedoona bara wemeshoona 2 minutes.. ini6roona 5 minutes.. eredoona da5l bl basement.. be3dain:
"this is a false alarm drill" -- malat 3eleekm!

I'm still waiting for the house phone to set up in my dorm,so i can start calling everyone back home! whoever wants to be called please send me a msg on fb or email me with ur house phone number.. as for my kuwaitti line,im pretty sure im getting all ur msgs,thanks guys! it really makes my day when i get a msg all the way from kuwaiti, cuz it makes me feel really appreciated to know that in that minute u remembered me!
Peace out my secret lovers and crazy stalkers <3

IM STARVING!!

2009-09-06T01:50:00.000-07:00

"wow,u probebly the hottest emo i've ever seen" random african-american guy 3nd il ba8ala.
"uuhh.. im not emo"
"ur not? well.. are u single then?"
"get lost!" *walks away and says* "AND STOP STARING, THIS ISNT KUWAIT!"
*poor african-american boy confused* "huh?"

IM STAAARVING!! Kl shey me9kook ihni.. subway is closed (ili ym ‘3erfeti) because it’s a holiday weekend so im’3eyreen il muwa3eed. YA ZEEN LIKUWAIT!
Hardees? 24 hours. Burger king? 24 hours. Pizza hut? 24 hours. KFC? 24 hours. Mcdonalds janoob il surra? 24 hours. Papa Johns? HM 24 hours! Every restaurant on campus? 7:30 pm. Malat 3eleekkm! Then again, I REALLY should be studying. But im not because
1) mali 5lg.. 2) IM STARVING!
This post was clearly written to show all readers how hungry I am, its also been written due to boredom, its one of those nights where I simply cant sleep. The room is tiny and my bed is even tinier, Im hoping maybe one day i can get used to looking at my door-less closet.. we start exams in two weeks! …. Im still hungry.
To end this:
“be the change you want to see in the world” - Ghandi (ya 7alatik!)

I swear this time i have really interesting things to say!

2009-09-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! my title is lying btw, nothing special about this post, i just posted that so ud seem alittle more interested (stop yawning!)
its been a very busy couple of days, i will highlight the most important (aka the normal day to day things i do in life) and try my best to help u draw a vision and put u in that vision as if u are with me this whole time.. of cours i cant fit all of you reading this, maybe if u were all anorexics i could.. but anywho..

"Ok. so do you wanna come over and do weed tonight?"
I look up from my Food Science NB. why does this feel so wierd? shes in public saying something illegal, what if i were an undercover cop? hl bnt mat 5af?
its wierd how this university talks about how "dry" and "drug-free" it is, i think its aload of crap. ppl here take drugs much more than they actually study. allah ehedeekm inshala!
i also rarely see guys smoke. which is wierd since in kuwait every guy smokes. girls smoke here much more than guys do, social smokers i guess. wla ili ede5noon mn il 9b7.. ITS SEVEN AM! GO DRINK SOME ORANGE JUICE, GO MARRY SOMEONE, BUT DONT SMOKE!

as for my fasting issue which i thought was something impossible to get over, if i feel too dizzy, i wait til athan il me'3reb 3ala tow8eet il kuwait o aakel,bss on weekends i usually stay till 8 pm without eating anything l2na im not working or running around university. bss 7imdela its working out fine, cant say i lost any weight though,maybe i have but its hard to notice since i dont own a scale yet.

moving on to more interesting subjects that would interest every straight girl reading this: BLACK GUYS = KUWAITIS.
They stare.
They compliment ur ass.
They tell to take their numbers even if they dont know you.
my thekrkm ib 3agad il avenues?! 9j inhm athreb ib WAYID o mu2edebeen, maku 3ala 3agad il avenues wallah i miss them so much, itha mu ga3ed yel7egch sa3a mthl il chlb, ma ye6le3 5aroof.

"madri laish hl amrekaan e7e6oon kl hl tatoos! hl 9bey shkla mu 7ilo a9lan!"
"mama hatha mu e9bey,hatha ibnya"
"laaa... 9bey!"
"le2. IBNAYA."
"eshderaach?"
"it3elmeeni feehm :p? eshde3wa 50 ashkara ebeyn inha ibnya.. il meshya,il g9a,il terachi"
"laa mn 9jch ma seme3tey 9ota?!"
"kaifkm itha ma taboon it9dgooni la 9adgoon. ana ga3da agolkm hathi ibnya"
"mn 9jch? shlon??"
"shnu shlon .. HATHI IBNYA!"
"la la myseer.. low kanet ibnya chan ma emseket eed erfejetha o yetmeshoon ma3a be3eth.. ila itha kan feeha shethooth.. bss hatha muste7eel"
LOL,when my dad said that i had to laugh. china nesa 3n nebet il shethooth ili bl 3alem chm. fa theleet sakta l2na there was simply no point in convincing them that the butch infront of us was a lesbian.

I FOUND TWOOO KUWAITIS HERE!! WHOOOHOOOO... to be honest im not happy at all.. mali 5lg kuwaitiyeen, and after that emarati gay guy i saw walking around, bs la3ed chbdi mn ay e9bey arabi. but one of them is doing his masters so hes old.. im not so sure aboutt the other one though. they seemed helpful.. ill just keep them around incase its a HUGE emergency someday allah lygool.

saving the best for last.... I GOT 8/10 IN MY MATH QUIZ THIS WEEK!!
HUUUUGGEEE progress.. considering my last one was a pure zero :)
ive also noticed that the time it takes me to finish my online math homework decreasing.. yalla inshala allah ewefgni ib hl mada ili imlowe3a chbdii..

Thank you Ismail & Noor for calling,good to hear ur voice, inshala more phonecalls will occur once i get my phone hooked up by next week.
Thank u nagham for the wonderful webcaming and all the funny faces u do to make me laugh,it really means the world to me.
goodnight everyone! i dont think im ognna sleep.. but if this post takes any longer ur gonna leave it un-read.. and thats something i will not allow.
comments? love notes? i only accept cash 7g 3eedeti so email me :)

HAPPY GERGE3AAN EVERYONE!

Haha's Post #17

2009-09-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

>>>>
“this is Whitmore right here, they just didn’t open the doors yet” said the man in blue.
“oh, ok! Thank you sir”
As an international freshman in this university, with barely three weeks spent here in the united states, I was pretty excited to attend my first concert in this school. I arrived fifteen minutes early, I wasn’t they only one. The weather inside the building was warm, the environment seemed friendly with the people surrounding it.
“oh he must be practicing!” says the woman as we hear an instrument being played faintly on the other side of the wall.
I walk inside to find a big fancy piano in the middle of a nice looking stage with wooden striped walls. Our entertainer of the night with the name of Peter Miamoto will play the grand piano for us this evening at 8 pm in Whitmore Recital Hall.
I was holding yellow papers containing his biography (which seemed very interesting and full of experience) and the titles of each piece he will be playing.
The first composition was somewhat sad, in my personal opinion it was too slow for me, and I think I heard someone snoring a couple of rows back. the ones that came after the first to me all sounded better, but my favorite piece which I truly enjoyed was the second one, this might sound weird, but it made me want to tip-toe my way up to the sky and grab a star. I loved it!
In my general point of view, this type of piano-playing concert isn’t really my type unless it was something fast and loud, nevertheless, he did an amazing job in exposing me to this kind of music, his audience went wild for him, they seemed to love every second of it. My critique would be a thumbs-up for all his compositions.
His performance was flawless. Simply perfect. The audience reacted positively and applauded strongly at the end of each piece. His hit of tones were massively mastered, his head and body movement glided with the noted he played.
I would give his overall performance a five star, I certainly didn’t regret coming here tonight and wouldn’t think twice if I had to do it again, despite the difference in what I normally listen to.
<<<<<

what you just read.. this is the report i will edit a little more and hand in for my music class... THE REAL story is:
i DID NOT feel like going,i was NOT excited at all.. I HATED the fact i had to go,cuz iknew EXACTLY what i was supposed to expect..
the reason i mentioned that the favourite peice was my second one, is becuase i fell asleep right after it :p
i woke up an hour later, exactly 30 seconds before he finished the whole concert. it was SO BORING!!! kereht 3eeshti :p
BUT, its goos that i went cuz its one down, three more to go,,whoohhooo :p

Orange Nails and Sleepless

2009-09-02T22:54:00.000-07:00

AMERICANS LOVE FOOD. And not because (like Kuwaities) they have nothing better to do but go to restaurants.. but because its always FREE. Free food everywhere.. people actually don’t go to events or meetings or whatever unless theres free food involved.. in every flyer, ever party, every fari,EVERYTHING the university does, free food is ALWAYS involved.. other wise people simply don’t come! So if ur studying in the states please don’t spend ur money on food just go to an event everyday and get free food :p
In my first outing downtown, well .. this didn’t happen in the downtown, it was on campus in one of the greek houses (fraternity house).. I officially saw the first person smoking weed, ashkara with the window open with the WHOLE group joining him. Lol its was funny, because when I first arrived here, all the people were talking about how “alchohol isn’t allowed” and “students get thrown out of the school if we see then with drugs” and now that I was on the first night where I actually walk around and explore the weekend night of Columbia,I find so many ppl ON CAMPUS SMOKING WEED o ashkra.. I just found that weird, and the way I reacted wasn’t something the Americans I was with were used to
“BUT THERE SMOKING WEED ON CAMPUS!!!! BUT THEYRE SMOKING WEED! RIGHT NOW!”
“yeah, we can see that… do u wanna try some?”
Theyre so used to it here, its like everyones lifestyle or something. Alah ye7fethna inshala.

This is SUCH a cute video! I loved it! The little girl is just adorable! I never thought repeating something so often would make it so much stronger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fULtU2NfPQA&feature=related

I HAD MY FIRST MOVIE NIGHT WITH 5 GIRLS!! DO U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?? IT MEANS IM NOT ACOMPLETE LOSER AFTER ALL.. hehe, im glad I find ppl here that like me,, first movie night!! Awww.. it was really nice, we watched “17 again” (zac efron is….mmmm!) it was a good night, hopefully one of many to come.

“uuuhh… ummm… hmmm.. yeah im sorry I don’t even know HOW to pronounce this, is this ur drink?”
“oh, yeah, that’s my name,but this isn’t my order, I ordered a VANILLA FRAPATINO”
“oh,, this says its vanilla CAPITINO” (why would they even pronounce it like that :s)
“nope. Not my order”
“oh im sorry”
He rushed off and comes back with “free drink cupon” and he apologizes TWICE, and then he makes me another vanilla frapitino only instead of having it in a tall size he puts it in this HUGE cup, I was eye-balled from the size of the sup, and the apoloagies,AND MY FREE COFFEE COUPON!!! Does this even happen in kuwat? I was extremely shocked that they cared this much.. I would have just been fine with having it re-done in my normal cup.. starbucks: well done!

GET NASTY!

2009-09-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

I know I was supposed to find at least ONE Kuwaiti here, but I haven’t. NO its not the end of the world YES I like the fact Im the only Kuwaiti around here. I sent an email request for any Kuwaitis to reply back, no one has.. I guess they feel the same way :p
BUT something interesting happened, asides form the 2 se3oodis I met (no comment,I hope I never see them again) I was sitting in the lounge staring at one of the walls, thinking about Kuwait and how much I miss everyone back home, and I was talking to a friends telling her how much I miss talking arabic for so long.. mara we7da asm3 wa7d yet7cha arabi! Ana knt @@ musta7eel! I got up and followed the voice.. I walked in the hallway, I see tall man walking infront of me and talking on the phone:
“eee.. la shof inta gola ink ma tebee ohwa akeed ra7 erda”
Chan mara we7da elef weyha.. I never noticed how tall he was until I turned around and I was standing right under him like a little ant, something he could step over :p
“hi! Inta mn ay deera?”
“imaraat.. intey?”
“oh! Ana mn il Kuwait..”
“eee.. (nervously laughs) .. hala walla”
I smile and turned around and walk back, he was still on the phone so I didn’t want to talk anymore… not that I would want to… HE WAS SO GAY,and not like the “awww,, so cute!” gay.NO ! the helegi wai3 gay.. it was ……. Zwa3, o lmn shefta yemshey… ma gidrt…. WAI3..
I missed my first day of classes. I still feel so bad! This is my second week,its too early to be missing anything :s

Our dance teacher is funny.. kl ma 9aar shey itgol “GET NASTY!” and she starts shaking like crazy, hehe ye7leelha imwensa roo7ha :p
Ima glt 7g umi o oboy akeed,theyd kill me, AND DON’T GO TELLING THEM 3ALA BUNA I POSTED THIS HERE!... but yeah,I actually was asleep for 14 hours. I had 3 alarms on, but none of them even woke me up. I don’t remember anything. I just had a really weird dream (Rated R) but when I DID wake up I started panicking, a little crying.. I didn’t really know what I should do.. I mean I could find my notes online.. but its not the same if ur not actually IN the class..
I haven’t been sleeping well AT ALL here,maybe its from the bed? Maybe I just think too much. Im being insomniac, and I hate it! Madri,inshala this goes away, l2na its effecting my awakeness during the day, and my sleepness at night, if that even makes since.. hopefully the sleeping issue will end.. and the sleeping through class issue will end!
I would love to send out special thank to Ryan,Bobby, Shamali and every other random person I ask to do my math homework – THANK YOU SO MUCH! Without u I wouldn’t have been able to get perfect homework scores…

Love my family. love my friends. u should to. GET NASTY!

Rnadom Scoops Of The Day

2009-08-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

TE3LEEEM IL WA6I: awel shey ethey3oon shahdtii and they they "find" it.. NOW theyre telling us they dont have my card account number,which sucks.. SINCE I GAVE IT TO THEM A MONTH AGO! since i already lost the old one and now they made a new one and everything is just mixed up. NEVER LOSE UR WALLET, you never realise how important it is only after its gone (and realise u had 600 dollrs of shopping money in it)

the nincest person who was nice to me on this floor is now sick, he was very helpful in math, so i brought him cookies and orange juice,i really hope he feels better, klsh mu wekta il wa7d yemreth!

i had my FIRST face makeup today, i put eyeshadow, and some blusher,along with some other things, i got with 2 compliments so far this afternoon. not completely satisfied.. i miss Kuwait, ween knt amshi bl fereej and id get a thousand compliments on the spot... girls::enjoy that and never underestimate its power, ihni if ur not half naked, guys will NOT compliment you :p

i like my outfit today, it remind me of Kuwait,madri laish it just does (no im not wearing a dara'a or anything national,,)
Kuwait water tastes better, lol i know random.there is officially no more room in my tiny room. food and band-aids and books and hair products and stuffed animals all sit in the only table i have, as u all know most of the things in my room are green, green is the new black,i actually found a shirt in our bookstore that says that,bss na9aabeen bl se3er and its not even my size..
i have to run to my next class! ok not "run" im not that american yet, but ill get there, adjusting here keeps gettting better. hope everyones doing ok back home!
put a smile on my face and text me from time to time on my Kuwaiti phone (its still open) and for those of u who already are: thanks! u guys are really putting a huge smile on my face!
Now,moving on to thing sless important in my life: i did NOT get a zero in my math class! whooooohhoooo!!! i got a TWO/10! amazing.. oh and the 2 points were for an extra credit question that had NOTHING to do with math really...
i have ALOT od studying to do.. kal 3ada mali 5lg.. 7thkm... muselselaat.. akl.. roo7! mu ana 6aye7 7athi :p
i need to go buy a scale.. its gonna be almost a month i havent weighed myself.. it feels wierd... WA25EERN SHEREET MU5EMA!!!! my floor is CLEAN! i dont have to see any more dust, not that id care anyways,bss umi gets paraniod easily when she comes to visit.
ok now i REALLY have to go! my backpack is striped green blue black,favorite colors! if anyone of you is feeling down or depressed or suicidal,, u know where to go :)

Bright Black

2009-08-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

Past two days have been really busy.
as for my math test, i went home the whole way crying, the test was four questions, i left two questions out,and the other i did were defintly wrong. i hate math,why the hell am i majoring in Finance if i cant even pass intermediate algebra? more than one person has told me that they always flunk in the math test.. but that not how i wanted to started my semister - flunking the test!

i have a math homework due tomorow,bagiley 5 questions, madri ween allah ga6ni, i start math tuturing tomorrow from 6 - 8. wai3 :/
its a weekend tonight,and the library is closed,i might do some studying tonight though. still not sure wether im in the mood for it yet, i have all sorts of cookies in my room im not eating, i dont get visitors,so i dont think they will be finished any time soon. elyoum shereet mu5ama 7ag '3erfeti l2na il arth zbala :)
i also bought "bright black" hair dye, i need to fix my hair :orange from the front,dark brown from the back... yeah,mala da3ii...
Noufa asked me what Bright Black is supposed to mean,shes kind of right,Ive never heard of black being bright, but thats exactly why i bought it,it just seemed catchy,and the girl on the box really did have bright black hair,not in an oily way though,it just looked a little brighter than regular black.
id write some more,but i dont have anything worth writing, i should probebly go study, or clean all the dust from the floor with a mop instead of my socks. goodnight,and have a great weekend!

Haha's post # 11

2009-08-26T15:25:00.000-07:00

"i just wannt you to know that im REALLY bad at math"
"NO YOURE NOT"
"umm,,yes,i am!"
"NO,UR NOT. u participate in class,and i thikn u'll do just fine here"
"well im international,so there are alot of things i dont understand here,i dont even know what pie is!"
"you dont have to, u just memorize the number i gave you"
"do u mind if i ask an auful lot of quesitons during class,becuase i get lost alot"
"haha! i dont COUNT how many time u ask,so ask away.. but im telling you,YOURE GONNA BE FINE,im here to help if you need anything"
"ok,thanks!"

this conversation helped me realise that maybe majoring in finance isnt the worst idea in the world,ive been talking to alot of ppl in the finance major, and ALL of them have minors, and most of them have jobs, and very few will tel you the math in it is hard. and ALL of them find the time to do a ton of other things and socialize and have fun. so im hoping it'll do the same for me!

as you all know i have been exposed to my first photo shoot,it was so fun! i wish i could go thorugh it everyday, they make u feel like ur the prettiest thing, and the co-ordinator of the uni kept saying how cute and sassy i was. its an e-mail add for the university, hopefully i made it look cute enough. i have almost 300 pictures taken of me in two hours, thats by far most the biggest number of pictures ive been taken of in this time. im supposed to get them bachir inshala.

moving on to the number one rated university gymnasium in the united states of america: thats right, its the recreation center in university of mizzouri - MY university.
it has a million swimming pools,basket ball courts, excersize and running rooms, rock climbing, tennis courts, and any other sports u can think of, it also has a million classes to choose from, everyone can find what they want, whether it was karate, or strip tease lesson. BUT, the BEST part of it all is that it has SPA! which includes massages, tanning beds (which cost 10 dollars, kuwait kla ga9een 3eleena @@ ) AND salon for haircuts and coloring. but the even BETTER part is that all of this is 5 minutes away from my room.

Today my CS was the first American to almost pronounce my name right.. it felt like i was home in Kuwait again hearing him say it. and then he ust kept saying it fifty more times until the ball he was playing with fell on the floor.

day by day,thing sget better, im still meeting a lot of people, still adjusting. also,my food science proffessor tells us EXACTLY what he'll be bringing in his tests, which is very convenient.
I've been having alot od interesting new "first's" going on,but becuas ei forget to write them down,so i just forget, things i DO remember though i printed my first picture, bought my first dress, first messenger bag, first socks, first Oficcial make up kit, whiich is wierd cuz i never put much makeup anyways back in kuwait (ili ishofni igol i was homeless in kuwait)

First Day Of Classes

2009-08-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day of classes!! Aaaaaaaahhhh!
All I can say is I kind of hated it. I woke up at 11 am, went back to sleep thinking my second alarm clock would wake me an hour later to get ready for my 1 pm math class. But instead of putting on the snooze button to wake me later, I turned off the whole thing my mistake.
The next thing I know I wake up, and almost pee in my pants when I saw what time is was (foug chithe knt 7asrana) no time to shower or even make sure I had the right pair of socks on (turns out later I founf out I was wearing one black and one white) I wore my first LimeGreen Mizzou t-shirt (there was no time for picture taking) I started running to my class like a crazy person, to top things off I wasn’t even sure WHERE the building was. It was about a five –minute run.
I was fifteen minutes late. But even if I had shown up early, it wouldn’t have made any difference since the only thing I understood from the full lecture was “welcome!”.
I felt like he was speaking german. Then he hands out homework sheet, id like to dedicate special thanks to shamali for doing it for me. If any 3lmi friends would like to help me with my math homework,send me an email,I will be more than happy to give you my homework :)
All homework, quizzes,and final exams are taken and scored by computer, so basically the only thing he does is tell us if we failed or not. Maalet 3elek ma mnk fyyda!

My food science class was A LOT better, there were 200 students ‘3eeri ga3deen bl 8a3a, but it was interesting, I liked it.. and what I liked most about it is that ALL his tests and quizzes are multiple choice and T/F. I like my dorm room. Sometimes I really hate this place, and I wanna run away and live in the trees. But sometimes I love this place enough to call it home. I guess im still in that adjusting phase.

Todays First's also include: my first time to eat at subway. yes i hate subway.but it was 11 pm, everything was closed, and its 10 seconds away from my room. its in a ba8ala, i love the ba8ala, all sorts of things!
First Mizzou shirt, First smore's cookout,first time to wake up late, First time not to shower in the morning,and first time to clean my room!
Glad to hear everyone is hungry, miss u all loads ;*

Know I Know Why You Cant Post Anything

2009-08-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

people,post away!
I've recieved millions of feedback tellng me how cool this is and how they cant post anything up cuz the prettiest blog in the world won't let them. HAVE NO FEAR - becuase the even prettier blogger changed the settings,so now u can comment and say whatever u want, how much u love me, how its impossible to live without me, or just how i stupid u are. Enjoy :)

To: Nagham il5ysa

2009-08-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

Special post for Nagham Bourisly:
i miss u SO much more! u dont understand walla :(
ur an amazing friend 7ebeebti, bs lat9dgeen nfsch wayid,fi naas wayid a7sn mnch.
hehe plz dont kill me :p
thank you for the CD'S,and i hope u got my msg!

to all friends: youre still in my life cuz i love you, so 7emdow rebkm.
and sorry im being mean, but i just ate too much and my head hurts, ramathan kareem!

My Firsts In USA!

2009-08-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! shlonkm?
Today has been a really interesting day, I kind of had a "first" of everything going on. I will explain to you in the following dots, o ra7 etlaa7thoon ana eshkthr faathya ini aktb hal ashyaa2 for my next post :)

• Today, I was able to purchase my first flip-flops. Now for those of you who know me extremely well know that I hate showing my feet, which explains why I rarely wear slippers, and i never stay anywhere without socks on. I have cute feet I admit (will u have feet fetish if I say this? Please don’t stare at my feet in my new facebook posted photo).. so anyways, I wore flip-flops all day today! They’re SO comfortable! I love flip-flops, I bought my second pair too, I never thought showing ur feet would be so much fun.

• Today, I saw my first american anorexic girl.ma knt adri inhm 3yysheen a9lan, l2nhm wayid nadreen bl wejood. She was SO skinny, she had no chest, no butt, she was a stick, her neck was skinny, she was tall, and her shoulders popped out. Now I know most of you think its sick of me to think this (if the person reading this thinks anorexia is hot wouldn’t) but she looked amazing. She was so skinny, ok. Maybe she looked a little miserable. I felt a little bad for her, I know how she must feel. Weight is always the issue. Its disturbing. Shes trying to look good at the cost of her well- being, and it doesn’t look attractive to anyone other than myself and other girls like me. Allah esaa3dha inshala. She works in Old Navy btw, if anyone wants to go visit her.

• Today, I purchases my very first tissue box for my very first dorm room! It was green – ofcourse – they say green is the color of life, so ofcours Id wanna blow my nose with the color of life!

• Today, I received my FIRST compliment in the US of A, I was shopping at a store, before I leave an African-American girl working there comes up to me and says “just a little tip, everyone working in this department store is loving you and ur haircut, they think u look so cute, and everyone's talking about the girl that’s a freshman at Mizzou! Btw im studying Law there too” awww… cute, thanks to Mel&Fig salon, located in Al-Sha’ab, I have amazing hair to take with me to the states. And extra thanks to my mother for making me pretty, I don’t know what id do with myself if I were born an ugly child. 7amdilla!

•Today, was my first day to purchase university books, and to everyone studying in Kuwait: 7emdow rebkm o 9omow o 9alow rek3eteen o abeekm ted3oon 5 ad3iya right now,BOOKS HERE ARE SO EXPENSIVE! I only have 4 classes, bss kelofooni about $500! AND theyre used,chan zeen b3d yeded @@ … malat 3eleehm, 7EEL ya5thoon floosna, madri galoolhm bnt il sheikh yaya tedres 3endhm! UNIVERSITY BOOKS ARE EXPENSIVE. gdrt ashitri kebet kaamel kla malabess ededda with 500 dollars,malat 3leehm. 7imdow rebkm books in Kuwait dont cost a thing! ya zeen likuwait :)

•Today was my first day a9eb banzeen in my car! Whoooohhooo!!! It was cool, laish il bnaat my 9eboon banzeen bl Kuwait bro7hm? Laish ma etgomoon wet9eboon banzeen 7g seyayeerkm? Kla bss ten6eroon a7ad ye5demkm?!.... ya7alaat likuwait,wana ga3da ib mukaani el hindi iyey we9ebley banzeen, ayam el 3ez ra7et :( to all the Kuwaiti girls who have other people to put gas in their car: ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN.
and to all my firends who started driving this summer: kl ma il hindi e9eb lkm bazeen, remember ina erfeejetkm ga3da et9b il banzeen bro7ha :p

• Today I did my first shopping spree, 6b3n lmn umi o oboy ero7oon ra7 e6egni il fgr o mara7 agdr ashitrey shey l2na ra7 akon fe8eera o a6r e6raara 6ool il wekt. Fa elyoum lmn desheet il soug 5abeet 3umri bili ako wel maku, la tes2elooni laish shereet 5 fewe6 :p ye3ni mn zood il seba7a.

• Today, was my first time to buy water from the vending machine, ye7leela il jihaaz! It76on ONE dollar, and then u choose what u want. Today was the first time I do that,It was pretty cool ( lol adri wayid ga3da abale’3 bss a7ib abeynlkm ina kl ili ga3da asawii wayid 3ejeeb 5e9oo9n itha kaan amle8 mn weyhi )

•Today, is the first time I have a posted msn picture of me looking HAPPY, I actually look happy, I never thought u could capture so much happiness in one photo. It’s a nice photo, I hope I take a lot more photos like it here. and may the person reading this days all be happy. and may michael jackson burn in hell. amen.

• Today, will be the first day I spend the holy month of ramathan in the states. 3sakm mn 3awada o kl 3am wentow ib 5air mara thanya. Fe6oori ana sa3a 8:30 pm, so lmn taaklon tethekerow erfeejtkm 6a7sa ehni.. so eklow wayid, 3ani o 3nkm! O bl 3afa, allah ye7mey il jmee3.

New issue to think about: is facebook a place where u can stalk people? My opinion: YES. Is it because I stalk people: YES (the reason I didn’t say no is because I cant lie, its ramathan, I wish id written this post ams, chan I could have lied) now the person im stalking could be anyone, maybe a friend, maybe a cuzin, maybe myself.

To some, this may be their goodnight story, to some, this could be tottally pointless, either way., keep in touch everyone!
sne dme interesting news to think about <3

My Firsts In USA!

2009-08-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Moving on to something totally different (and stolen) :
“god created 2 kinds, opposites, but as u know opposites attract: plus and minus, electrons and protons, hot n cold, geeks and midgets.
u learn to live, then u work to live, then u raise ur kids to live, then u die.. u never actually live ur life, there is no ayyyy ayyy ayyy in this world (sung by rihanna)
cuz successfull women dont take no for an answer, and steal other ppls work by bullying them to death. they sue their bosses for sexual harrasment and take their place after they are fired”
and that is how u complete a very long essays in college
u say facts that cannot be proven wrong and keep bullshitting senteces to make it seem longer than it actually is.

Thank you cuzin for the wonderful advice, im sure every college student readin this would agree (im not being sarcastic) (now ur wondering if that sentence was a sarcastic one) ( now ur just confused))too many brackets) . Can I sue my boss? I think I will, but I should probably delete this post when I do, so the judge wont know im lying.
I HAVE TO GO EAT GBL IL SE7OOOR!
goodnight everyone! sweet dreams of me and the presents ur gonnna buy me tomorrow :)
text me if ur bored, ill be more than happy to read about ur problems.

My First Night In DogWood Hall

2009-08-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

This will be my first night at the dorms. I feel good about it,i like my dorm room (Yasmine, the picture will come as soon as i get things cleaned up here)
im living in a mess,l2na kl shey 3ala be3eth and mali 5lg a3adel shey.
i just had Mcdonald's, its 10 pm here, 6 am 3ndkm.
i have to run around bachir to see wheitch biudling my classes are.
RAMATHAAANNN!!! 3asakm mn 3awadi o kl 3am we7na ib 5eer inshala...
LAZM A9OM LE 8:30!!!!! so for all the poeple ili ga3deen i7inoon 3ala wekt il 7e6oor :: 7EMDOW REBKM!
To all my friends, thank u for updating me, and to all the friends who havent: malat 3elekm,eshna6reen inshala?
wish to hear from u some more soon,please keep in touch all <3
I have a temporary number, anyone who wants it please ask. but when i get my perminent number i will send everyone a msg, and if u dont get the msg then it either means the service is down,or i dont want you to have it :p

take care everyone,and happy fasting :)

Robert J. Trulaske, College Of Business

2009-08-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

"uuumm.. am i gonna get injected.. i hate injections " :S
Nurse: "oh, no! of cours not, we just need to take some blood out.. an injection would mean id have to put something in...." (ye3ni 6aal3a feeha :p)

5 minutes later....
Nurse: "when's ur date of birth ..... Nour? when's your date of birth.... NOUR! TELL ME!"

and for some reason,i just burst out laughing.. i never thought getting an injection would make me feel so funny.. i laugh so much, i tell her my birthday. she smiles and tells me hers is on April too. then she goes on and on about her tw beautiful daughter and how lucky she feels to have them. she had that really nice glow when she started talking about them,its seemed like it was hard for her to stop,so i waited about 15 minutes until she did.

the CA of my dorm home: "ur names what again?"
"NOUR"
"huh..??"
"NOUR!"
"nor?"
"noo..NOUR"
"nur?"
"NOUR.. u know what,just pronounce it the way you want"
"haha,ok,sorry.. and ur from?"
"Kuwait"
"where?"
"KUWAIT"
"oh ok,, and thats in...?"
"the middle east"
"oh.. like where Iran is?"
"yeah,right next to it"
"OH! ok,Nour,i got an email about u! they told me you were moving in here,i have about 6 people moving here today,but ut the only international student on this floor"

our CA is cool,hes always laying on the sofa, always lazy, and LOVES to talk. He's a student too,getting a P.Hd in accupational theropy. hes in charge of making sure noone is going agains tthe rules.
I've got one suitcase left until im offcially in my dorm, this is what my dorm looks like, its new,and pretty cool http://reslife.missouri.edu/housing2/hall_dogwood.htm

we start classes on monday.. i registered for classes today. 5 classes(spychology, math, food science, english writing, and introduction to music) hopefully it will all be good.
The 4 hour english test i took yesturday gave me the "no english classes required" score,which is good.

the past two days, ive been walking more then ive been sleeping. im also missing out on ALOT of events, it seems every hour theres somthing going on, and i dont have the time to do anything. im just WALKING from one biulding to another.. each biulding takes so long to get to,i keep getting lost. its annoying.

its been raining alot here,the weather sometimes gets humid, and the minute after its sunny and hot, and then two minutes laters its raining again, its a wierd climate. always carry a jacket just in case.

i'm really ecited about classes starting,and im sure everyone back home is too.. this is something new,its going to be so wierd! 7tn magdr at7acha arabi ihni,i still havent met any Kuwaitis, just 2 se3oodis. I'm happy with the classes i chose. even though we took too long choosing, EVERYTHING WAS FULL! we even had to get a permission slip for my english just to get me in,l2na i wa sshort on credits.. becuas ei7na international students,25r naas ensjl,so we basically get the left overs from everyone else.. i was even willing to sign up for a jewdism class (a9eer yehodiya :p) BUT EVEN THAT WAS FULL!

someone just knocked on the door,im asking who it is (in the manly voice i can make,,ye3n 3shan ye5ter3oon) but no one is answering.. im kind of freaked out.. becuase they rang the bell,and knocked.. twice,all in different times... but no way im gonna open the door,its 9 pm,and im home alone,and my parents have a key so they dont have to ring the door bell. this could be the last post i make, until that person decides to break in and kill me. if anything does happen: please busy me in the SuperMan T-shirt my brother stole from me, and buy me the BlackBerry i'll never use :(

i realy miss everyone back home. i still didnt make any friends,im such a loser.
oh well,i wouldnt want any good friends here anyways,i have the best back home :)

How is everyone doing? post a note here, or email me, i wanna know whats going on!

Haha's Third Post <3

2009-08-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

This morning, I woke up at 8 pm, shower doesn’t work, now (8 pm) I think I lost 20 kilos. This university is HUGE, a guy from my dorm told me it could take you 30 minutes walking and you still wouldn’t reach to your next class. I think my legs are broken now.

This morning they gave us an international orientation. Ma leget a7ad 3arabi, except for a guy who workd in the university (se3oodi) he told me that there were TWO Kuwaiti girls sisters studying @ Mizzou. I can’t wait to find them and meet them!

I met A LOT of international students from all over: Korea, China, Serbia, Argentine, New Zeelan. They were all really interesting, and when they found out I was from Kuwait, everyone was @@ and asked a million questions, most of them asked if it were true that the gulf region were all rich. After the orientation was over, they made small groups out of us, I was GROUP # 9, two people were in charge of us: an American, and a Chinese. We all tok turns talking about ourselves, and then took the longest tour in the world around the uni, o kl ma we9elna mukaan “LETS TAKE A PICTURE!” o ewegfoona 3nd il mbna we9owroon, 7imdela wesheker. It was kind of fun though.

3 pm, we were all running around like crazy, trying to find the closest building, it was raining like crazy, we were all being soaked, by the time we got into a dry place we were all laughing so hard some of us ran out breathe, that was fun, running in the rain like maniacs, not something you do in Kuwait, likuwait 3asa ma 6ele3na 3shan inshof il me6er ila imwegef.bss ihni theres just TOO much rain, ye3ni its hard to go around and do things. I miss Kuwait :(

Today a lot more people moved into the dorms, I haven’t moved in yet, I just put half of my things there. Im going back to the university tomorrow all day to take a test, do a blood test, and start moving the rest of my things back into the room. I really like my dorm, the people in it are really nice. Inshala kl shey e3edi 3ala 5eer.

Bl nsba 7ag telephone, I still didn’t get my drivers licence yet, bss oboy yaabli seyara elyoum (FORD) mefroth this week a7awl a6ale3 leesn, awl ma a6al3a ra7 ashtri the BB. Tomorrow is gonna be a LONG,LONG day. But I cant wait! Everything is so exciting here, theres just SO much to do! Ra7 asheg ihdoomi mn kthr il events ili moujoda ehni!

Events Of Today!

2009-08-17T20:06:00.001-07:00

“Yalla! Nour!”

“INZAIN! DEGEEGA!”

Thunder hits, and all of a sudden we hear strong water landing on the floor.

WOW! It rained like CRAZY! We had to wait about an hour till it finally went down a bit, but it still was raining strongly.

Lol, bl Kuwait itha shfna neg6eten mu6r nestaness wen9eley rek3eteen. ihni, shft wa7d ege6 his girlfriend off our apartment, it just took her 2 seconds from the car door till the shades to get SOAKED. Mskeena e5tenget bl my. Yalla zain 3shan mu lazm tetsebe7 lmn etrd il beet :p

To my brother, Ismail. YOU STOLE MY SUPERMAN SHIRT AND NOW I DON’T HAVE IT WITH ME HERE!!! So when you come, don’t forget to bring it, wetha tabeeha go to Virgin MegaStore and buy your own Super Man T-shirt for 8 KD (24 Dollars :p)

I WILL BE MOVING IN TO MY DORMS TMORROW! HALILUA!!!! I CANT CANT CANT CANT CANT CANT WAIIIIIITTTT!!!!!!

The dorms im moving into have recently been built last semester, fa ana awl we7da ra7 askn bl ‘3erefail ideeda.. and the room is single, so mafi a7ad ma3y.. I should say im kind of disappointed, I wanted someone with me DESPITE all the stories I hear about roommates, oh well. It took me about 2 hours to get to two buildings in the university, then I had to go back to car to get the the third, l2na its too huge to my little feet :)

Btw,im rich again! YES! bs ma 3endi bok a7i6hm fii.. lol booki inbaag :p

P.s.: 3lchhm 3ejeeb! lol adri chni mu shyfa 5eer :p

re7t il ba8ala o 5ebeetli ymkn 5 packs of gum,o kl pack fi ymkn alf.

My First Blog!

2009-08-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

Since i won't be in Kuwait most time of the year, and i will get bored of sending e-mails,i figured the best way to go is start a blog, i was too lazy to start one last year when my cuzin told me to, but here i am.
yay! my first blog, i hope it interests u,even though nothing all that interesting happened today..

For all of you who have been bugging me about the number: NE6ROW! THEBE7TOONI! lel7een ma 79lt an American number :@ and my Kuwaitti number (for the millionith time) HAS NO CREDIT ;p so if i dont reply back la tez3elon. dala3 zayed! but u cna send msgs through it, i read them all,and thanks guys for the amazing support,didnt think i could ever have such an amazing family and friends!
I went to the store today to get the BlackBerry Tour, everything was fine until we got to the cashier, and the girl wanted my driver's license, i told her i didn't have one since my wallet got stolen at the airport and basically had all my money (there goes my whole FORD salary) and cards.. and life :(
so dad offered her his Kuwaiti license + international license, she declined. we waited for about an hour to see what other options we had,and what would happen itha sejelnaa te7t esma and then tranferred it back to my name, fa gamet et5erbe6,but in the end she told us the best thing was to wait until i move into my perminent address (yes,still living with my parents, i will move into the dorms as soon as i get the OK from Mizzou) and until i get the rest of my papers done.. so BB is gonna hav to wait til next week guys!
I'm gonna go get my drivers test on Tuesday, i really hope i dont flunk, the roads here are HARD! i have no idea ppl drive here, its sooooo different mn shuware3 ilkuwait.. o ye7leelhm maku a7ad yesre3 or e5aalif.. police cars everywhere, i think today is the first day in my life i actually see my dad wear a seatbelt ;p
we were supposed to get my car today but the car place is closed,over here EVERYTHING is closed on weekends - ya 7alat il kuwait kl shey faach :)

Notes:
Farah Duwaisan: LOL i miss u too and its ok walla inshala when i get back we'll do something.

NAGHAAMM!! HAPPYBIRTHDAY! AND MABROK 3ALA UR NEW PHONE!
its nagham's birthday everyone,yebooli hadaya l2na Nagham kalba :)
btw, ay bnya 8ezdch?

Shamali: stop worrying,im fine! ee i know :(
i just lost alot of shopping money ;p
but thats ok tegdereen et3owtheeni with something else ;)
etro7een blsalama!

Dana Qattan: OMG i miss u too LOL i loved ur email! wayid meshte6a,tara this isnt LA,it has more churches then malls ;p
but dont worry u'll get all the boring details, american guys are HOT!

As for the rest, if u guys need anything from here tell me i'll get it for u, bss nothing too expensive cuz my wallet got stolen and now im broke,so itha ay fa3el 5eer feekm yebey yetbere3 call me ;p
the hand soap i bought today smells AMAZING,its apples!
lol adri fara'3a,bss theres nothing interesting going on. i hate weekends,u can never get any work done.

oh,wow! i love my first post,this sis so cool. its like im talking to myself on the screen,but i dont have to think im crazy or anything. lol,ok,bye!